DS left small family in November 2011 (situation described in earlier posts). Since then his ex-wife has not allowed him to see the children on a regular basis. We have only seen the GC three times since then.
However, DH and me get emails from ex-wife and her parents on a more or less regular basis to ask us to see GC and have a relationship with them. The other grandfather send an email to DH to plead for understanding his daughter and her motivation for not letting my DS see the children. Emails from this family are always full of abuse against DS. DH is adamant that we can't do anything as long as our DS is unable to see his children and I agree.
DH and I have decided not to respond to either ex-DIL or her parents until some sort of visiting right habe been established between DS and his children (our GK). This has now happened as DS went to court and can have the children one day a week and every other Sunday.
I have an extremely bad conscience for having cut all the ties with the other GP and my ex-DIL. I got on well with the fellow GPs when DS was still there.
I'm the kind of person who wants to be friends with everybody and not having responded to emails makes me feel almost sick. I think about it all the time. On the other hand I know if I got in touch with ex-DIL and her parents, I'd risk to alienate DH and DS. It's really painful because I'm also thinking of the children who are between two camps. I so want to go to the house of their mummy and spend time with them there but feel my hands are tied. (Mind you, I did have a very volatile relationship with exDIL when she was still DIL but now I'm so sorry for the pain she has to suffer because of what DS did to her. I also have a feeling that she has changed and we could forge some sort of relationship but I'm not sure).
Thanks for listening dear WWU community.