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My DIL seemed very excited with her gift. Even hugged my neck and said, "Thank You". So maybe it will at least make her feel like I care.
Its been a long day! Our oldest son left for Afghanistan for 9 months today. He's been there and Iraq 4 times now. But he's really been dreading this deployment. Its the 1st time since his son was born. He's 11 months today. And a big daddy's boy. Praying he won't have to stay the whole time and comes home safely.
Being a Mother never ends in our hearts. Once they are born its a life time role isn't it?

Thank you freespirit, I went today to a nice spa in our area and bought a gift card for a maternity massage and mani/pedi. She does work hard and I'm hoping she will enjoy it. Thanks again everyone. It's helped ease my mind just being able to talk about things. 

Mercy my heart aches for each of you. These AC should be ashamed of their selves! IMO
I don't understand how someone could treat the person who raised them in such horrible ways. Shame on them! Sending up prayers for each of you today.  At least you have a place to talk about things with others who understand.

Like I said above I don't want or expect to be her BFF. And what the family is now is a blessing. I have no intention of messing that up.
Its clear that this young woman doesn't need me what so ever. We are his family and something she just has to get through a few times a year.
I'm proud of her and our son. And I look forward to being Mimi to another little one. Hopefully there will come a day it gets easier. Wouldn't it be nice if there was a book of answers that worked for all of us? LOL
I know some women have way worse problems and I'm thankful for what we have. Maybe one day it will be more? Thank you for helping me sort it out in my mind.

From on MiMi to another ,Congrats on the new grandchild. Our ODS is deploying again in a few days. This is the 4th time. But it's the only time he's dreaded it and not wanting to go. They had their 1st child last Nov. he is a hands on Daddy and so in love with him.
Thank your son for his sacrifice .

I'm sorry for the loss of your Mother.   Congrats on your newest grand daughter.
   
I read once something that said, "Its not what we give children, but what we teach them to get on their own that is the greatest gift." or something along those lines.
  My heart would be heavy also if I saw my daughter with 2 small children having to support a man also. She will most likely grow tired of that , hopefully before she has many more children.
How old are they?

Thank you firelight, I will and yes she is busy, Her and our son both work a lot and when off are busy doing other things. Its hard to know when is a good time to call even. So its not often we see them even though they only live a few miles from us. Thank you each for your replies.

Thank you for replying. I like your ideas still learning.  I will think how I could use your suggestions.
Luise, I hadn't thought about the issue maybe being on purpose because she wants to distance her self from us. I hope you are wrong. I'll have to consider it and see where I go from that.

Hello Ladies,
I'm new to your group. I've been reading a lot on this site and I'm impressed with not only the advice I've seen given here but the gentle kind way in which its given. So I thought that maybe someone here could help me?
I need suggestions on how I could get to know my newest DIL without bothering her? I'll try to give a little info about each of us. Maybe it will help?
I really like my DIL and to be totally honest she impresses me in so many ways! I'll name a few reasons why,
1) Our son is so happy that his face glows when he's with her.
2) Saying she's smart would be a gross understatement.
3) She is a hard worker and a wonderful RN
4)One of best home makers I've ever met! I know that to many women that isn't important but it always has been to me. So to see this young lady not only cooking a meal but actually plants a large garden and puts stuff up and uses it all thru the year. Their home is always spotless and decorated wonderfully!
Be honest how many women do you know at age 23 that can do these things anymore?

We have 3 DIL's total and I get along with the other two just fine. I've always been very aware to not butt in or crowd them. I don't show up without calling. I'm in love with my grandchildren just as most Grandmothers are. But that is what I am the "grandmother" not the parent and I don't over step.
Our sons have been blessed with fine wives. Women who to me are family.
Ok, here is what I'm having some trouble with.
I haven't found a way to connect with my newest DIL. I know she's busy and I don't want nor expect to be her BFF but I'd like to be able to talk to her when we are around each other. They've been married a tad over 2 years and now expecting their 1st child. She is an only child and lost her Father her Sr year of high school. She is very close to her mother and I just can't seem to get a foot hold on building a friendship with her. She is always polite and everything and its hard to explain. I just feel like I'm stumbling around her.
Does anyone have a suggestion about something I could try? I don't want her to ever think I only care because of the baby. So it would be good if I could start something before he's born.
I'm sorry this is so long. Thank you for reading it and for any suggestions. DD?/b]