I am just "down" today - our beloved DIL's birthday is this week-end and we offered to drop by on any one of four days - they were busy on all of them (just like Thanksgiving, Mother's Day, Father's Day, Easter and probably Christmas). There was a letter to an advice columnist, Amy Dickinson, in our local newspaper (a world-wide columnist) concerning the issue "older boomer parents wonder why our children ignore us" - the reply was very astute. I believe that my crediting this columnist with her words, I am able to copy and print them here (if not, Luise, then delete).
Quote
DEAR DAD: Here's my take: People in your generation (older boomers) raised your own children to occasionally miss a tournament or a birthday party in order to climb into the station wagon and spend time with (and have their cheeks patted by) older family members.
I'm describing a family structure that was more "top down," where the parents made choices on behalf of the family.
But there has been a significant shift. First of all, two working parents are working long and hard. But these parents are also exhausted because they assume their children's priorities -- including dropping everything for sports tournaments that are scheduled during national or religious holiday weekends. These parents promote a family structure where everything revolves around their kids.
I assume that when they're older your grandchildren might see their own parents the way your adult children see you -- as a "waste" of vacation time.
My advice to you is to accept the parameters and do what you want to do -- but to do your best to love them, regardless. More than ever, young people need to spend time around older relatives.
I moved this to Helpful Resources to keep it from getting lost. I doubt crediting an author transcends a copywrite if there is one.
About once every 10 years we took a sightseeing vacation. The rest were visiting vacations or spend time at home vacations. Now, I remember quite a lot of the visiting vacation, and very little of the sightseeing- if it were not for pictures, would probably not remember anything at all. Visiting a "Waste of time"?? Yes that is what is what my kids think, so since I can't pay to take them somewhere elaborate, I don't see them except for maybe an couple of hours a year, on there way from here to there. Glad I am at the end of the road because I do not like the new world so much.