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I have an 8 month old granddaughter (my DD and SILs). I don't know why, but I feel like I should have more feelings for her. She is a perfect child, never fussy, very charming, but I just am not "in love" with her, or maybe I don't know how I am supposed to feel. We see each other once or twice a month, but only live 60 miles apart. DD and I have always been oil and vinegar, sometimes we can combine to make a delicious dressing, but we often don't mix well and can hurt each other's feelings deeply. The truth is, I love my DD passionately and maybe am a little jealous over her love for my GD. I never really understood my DD, even as an infant, and DD and GD are completely simpatico and DD is never upset with GD, and is thoroughly enjoying her...much more than she ever enjoyed me! 
Also, there is the matter of the othe GM. She is the picture perfect grandma (and I personally like her), she is over the moon for our GD, always popping in to see her, buying her gifts, making plans that my DD really doesn't want to do like lunch or other little get togethers. I am not that type of gooshy gooshy type person and feel very conflicted about how I should act.
Also, and this is really weird and makes me feel terrible, but GD is the spitting image of SILs side of the family. She looks nothing like my side. It's terrible of me to admit this, but when I hold her, she doesn't feel like she's "mine".
I don't know. This whole grandmother thing just doesn't come naturally to me. Today when I tried to apologize to my DD for not being the GM her MIL is, she told me she honestly didn't think about either one of us (her MIL or myself) all that much and to get over it. I have to laugh at that, at least she is honest and certainly I am lucky not to be shut out of her life.
Maybe I'm just too sensitive and subconsciously don't want to get too close so that I don't get hurt...I do have issues with this. It makes me sad. I do love her, but it's just not what my friends seem to feel about their grandkids. Ah well. It helps to write about it. More than I realized. I hope this wasn't too rambling. I haven't posted on here much, but it is one of the most useful forums on the web...thanks for listening everyone.
Also, there is the matter of the othe GM. She is the picture perfect grandma (and I personally like her), she is over the moon for our GD, always popping in to see her, buying her gifts, making plans that my DD really doesn't want to do like lunch or other little get togethers. I am not that type of gooshy gooshy type person and feel very conflicted about how I should act.
Also, and this is really weird and makes me feel terrible, but GD is the spitting image of SILs side of the family. She looks nothing like my side. It's terrible of me to admit this, but when I hold her, she doesn't feel like she's "mine".
I don't know. This whole grandmother thing just doesn't come naturally to me. Today when I tried to apologize to my DD for not being the GM her MIL is, she told me she honestly didn't think about either one of us (her MIL or myself) all that much and to get over it. I have to laugh at that, at least she is honest and certainly I am lucky not to be shut out of her life.
Maybe I'm just too sensitive and subconsciously don't want to get too close so that I don't get hurt...I do have issues with this. It makes me sad. I do love her, but it's just not what my friends seem to feel about their grandkids. Ah well. It helps to write about it. More than I realized. I hope this wasn't too rambling. I haven't posted on here much, but it is one of the most useful forums on the web...thanks for listening everyone.