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Great story, Camelot!  You can tell that you are a writer, I could just envision you trying to hide the look of horror on your face while your little monsters, I mean GKs, poured milk on the the floor or pull the cat's tail!  I can also imagine that it would be hard to be thrust into the lives of older grandchildren who are already rather set in their ways.  Hope things continue to improve.

As for my little eight month old GD, I spent the day with just her and my daughter recently, shopping and relaxing.  I still don't have that goochy goo granny attitude, but the GD is certainly entertaining, and already I can tell that she is going to be just like her mother, strong willed and bright, with a sharp wit and biting sense of humor.  Lord help my daughter! 

Pooh, one theme I notice here and amongst my friends is that we kind of lose ourselves as we age/become grandparents, rather than experiencing the freedom that we thought we would have when the kids leave home.  This community helps us find ourselves again.  At least it has helped me, in many ways.

Hi Grieving .  I hope you aren't grieving so much after all the wonderful support you have received here at WWU.  I believe your first post was in response to MY first post, about not being gaga over GC.   And I have to say that after I posted about my sadness and not bonding with GD, the wisdom that was shared with me made me feel immediately better, and I hope that you feel better now, also.  We are not alone!

The attachment parenting thing is interesting...I hadn't put the two issues together.  It appears that it has become the modern way to parent in one form or another.  I have been told more than once that if I didn't play by DD's rules I wouldn't be allowed to be alone with GD...I am beginning to see that this is not unusual... 

I remember having to insist that my parents and PIL would have to use a car-seat and then the seat belt.  And I told them they wouldn't be allowed to take their GC anywhere unless they promised to always use it.  I remember my in-laws rolling their eyes at that, but they did comply and of course now wouldn't think of not buckling.  But I wonder how they felt about my demands?

No wonder it's hard to bond, with all of these rules that we don't know about.  But thanks to the wisdom gained here, I am going to try to just go with the flow, just like OUR parents probably had to.  My son and DIL are trying to get preggo, so it will be interesting to see the dynamics of having a GC with a DIL.  .

Good luck, Grandma Grieving, I hope you are feeling better and please share if you've come up with any good answers to "aren't you thrilled to be a grandparent?"  xoxoxo

Wow, thanks for all of your support.  It blows me away!  I don't have a lot of time to post, like Lillycache (ty!) I am in an incredibly busy time of my life, and do work full time and have other lifestyle changes going on that need to be dealt with.  The main thing I am holding to my heart is what you all are saying...it's okay to be who I am.  I was a great parent, my kids turned out fine, and I will just let my relationship with GD unfold naturally.  I think it will be fine, and if she ends up favoring the other GM, that will just have to be okay, the other GM is a great person so it's not like she will be a negative influence. 

Huge thanks to all of you, the kindness and caring here is overwhelming.

I have an 8 month old granddaughter (my DD and SILs).  I don't know why, but I feel like I should have more feelings for her.   She is a perfect child, never fussy, very charming, but I just am not "in love" with her, or maybe I don't know how I am supposed to feel.  We see each other once or twice a month,  but only live 60 miles apart.  DD and I have always been oil and vinegar, sometimes we can combine to make a delicious dressing, but we often don't mix well and can hurt each other's feelings deeply.  The truth is, I love my DD passionately and maybe am a little jealous over her love for my GD.  I never really understood my DD, even as an infant, and DD and GD are completely simpatico and DD is never upset with GD, and is thoroughly enjoying her...much more than she ever enjoyed me! 

Also, there is the matter of the othe GM.  She is the picture perfect grandma (and I personally like her), she is over the moon for our GD, always popping in to see her, buying her gifts, making plans that my DD really doesn't want to do like lunch or other little get togethers.  I am not that type of gooshy gooshy type person and feel very conflicted about how I should act. 

Also, and this is really weird and makes me feel terrible, but GD is the spitting image of SILs side of the family.  She looks nothing like my side.  It's terrible of me to admit this, but when I hold her, she doesn't feel like she's "mine".

I don't know.  This whole grandmother thing just doesn't come naturally to me.  Today when I tried to apologize to my DD for not being the GM her MIL is, she told me she honestly didn't think about either one of us (her MIL or myself) all that much and to get over it.  I have to laugh at that, at least she is honest and certainly I am lucky not to be shut out of her life.

Maybe I'm just too sensitive and subconsciously don't want to get too close so that I don't get hurt...I do have issues with this.  It makes me sad.  I do love her, but it's just not what my friends seem to feel about their grandkids.  Ah well.  It helps to write about it.  More than I realized.  I hope this wasn't too rambling.  I haven't posted on here much, but it is one of the most useful forums on the web...thanks for listening everyone.

Poor Sadtothecore, your story is sad, and I just wish you peace.  And the strength to be brave and move on if necessary.  Because it does take strength to stop dwelling on our sadness, it takes strength, courage, and practice.  I wish I could be as wise as some of the women here, but for now I am going to send you pleasant thoughts....there still are pleasant things out there, the song of the birds, the spring bulbs popping up, funny new comedies on television...those are the thoughts I am sending your way!