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I understand What You all are saying, I do, but it isn't that easy despite him hitting an elderly woman, My grandma lied to the police and said he didn't, and did not press charges. If I were going to court to get primary sole custody, I would need proof he is unstable. He has a record that still shows up but not domestic ones. I can't just get a divorce without proof, and I wasn't there when she decided to not press charges. I had no say. If she tries to change her statement. She gets charged for lieing to cops. Like I said I refuse to share custody.  I don't see how I could still win in a situation like that with no legitimate proof. Like I know some of the things he did in the past, and I can very well prove that I'm financially, Emotionally, and physically stable to take care of my child. I just need the proof that he isn't and things that are bad that he has done recently. That's my dilemma and until then. I am taking steps and precautions. I'm seeing and individual counselor and so is he. He is going to anger management, and going to be going on meds. I Know that leopards don't change their spots, I did go in to this willingly, But his parents and him did not show their true spots till recently. when they had me trapped. I'm not naive that if he can hit an elderly woman, that  I know he could hit me or the baby. Yes i'm aware that things are unlikely going to change, But I don't have enough on him. I will take advice and call a hotline for advice. Ill document, Ill avoid mummy at all costs and make sure i follow through. Also Just found out the baby is a girl. Very healthy, and im still very healthy. now just gotta wait till jan 8th when she will finally be here. Thank you all for your support. Ill keep replying and updating. Oh and FYI My husband and I do live with my grandma, we pay rent but are still saving to get a place in the mean time.

Also I would not take it with a grain of salt. I will never let a man hit me and stay with me. My grandma after incident asked me to give him one more chance. Otherwise I would have left him. Im not making excuses for him. I just know what anger and bi polar and manic people deal with. I went through it when i was a teen. As soon as I give birth im going back on my medication. I'm being responsible. His mother was never responsible for him. She didnt put him on meds and or get him the help he needs. I'm just trying to help him for the sake of our child. A decent human being trys before giving up and knows when it fails to give up. By september 17th Ill know which one I'm going with. since then no more incidents and things have gotten better. INCIDENT was on june 28th Fyi. His health insurance just kicked in with his 4th job since we have been together. i have kept the same job for 2 yrs. So as soon as health insurance goes through he is going to go. If not he is gone. and I will fight for my child.

I appreciate so far the advice that was given. I am aware that my husband is number one issue. and the my child is number one priority. I am documenting and taking necessary steps and am seeing a counselor individually in the mean time. My grandmothers home is safe. My mom and sister live here too. They have been helping deal and cope and we have a lawyer on the side just in case. I'm trying last ditch efforts to see if we can make this work and making sure he will follow through with working on his major problems. I work part time 32 hrs. Not many jobs in my area provide full time. As well as going to college full time. I'm not a bad mother in wanting the father of my child to be a part of her life and staying with him in the mean time. However I am prepared if things get out of hand to leave without looking back or regretting my actions. I Love my daughter. More than anything including myself. With bi polar people in most cases from what I see we have a hard time taking responsibility and or caring about others more than we think of ourselves. I love my child more than myself. I'm still young and learning to cope with stresses normal day to day people deal with. My counselor told me that the way I describe explain think and process and cope are outstanding and she thinks the same way, that all of you have posted. but that I should follow through with my set goal and hope that he will follow through with his actions. If not she has what
I have told her documented. I just was asking what I can do in the mean time to cope with the MIL antagonizing ways. I'm already dealing with my husbands ways. He is trying. He just can't get away from mommy. He is 26 yrs old. He knows that if he doesnt get help im prepared to leave. He has never laid a hand on me. That is the God honest truth. My grandma, mom and sister would not take it with grain of salt. He threatened to out of anger once and that is how the incident occurred between grandma and him. I had already left and took a walk to calm down because if I didn't I would probably already be divorced. I took those actions for my daughter.

My husband and I have been married for 2 months and 15 days, We have been together for 2 years. Problems started ever since we began planning our wedding and got married. My owe so enraging mother in law, has been striking a nerve more than ever for the past 6 months. I have brought the situation up to my husband but he completely blows it off like it is unimportant. My mother in law, I believe didn't really think we would go through with the wedding. She did not help out with any funds for the wedding except for 175 dollars towards the cake, that was 500 dollars. My grandmother paid for entire thing. they paid 400 for our condo for the honeymoon, expenses not included. Then she demanded all of her family members be invited to the bridal shower and wedding. To keep the peace we did and they all live far away. out of our 100 guest 14 people came from his side of the family out of the 50 we invited. 30 people said they would show. 4 people out of 25 for the bridal shower. Then when the wedding came around, she became offended when my bridesmaids for their speeches made "friendly warnings" to him. His mother found that inappropriate for a wedding. Now if she new her own son she would realize it was more than necessary, he has anger issues and always threatens to kill and maim people. Another thing, I'm pregnant right now, and my family does not want to invite anyone from his family to our baby shower. My grandma thinks that she should have her own shower for me because they live so far away. She does not offer any money or support in any way.  Our families are no longer getting along. Reason is my husband likes to cry wolf. We live with my parents currently because my husband can't save a dime to save his butt. He has a project car he dumps his money into, credit cards racked up, hospital bills unpaid and insurance, car payment, and phone bill through the roof, all mine are paid off. Im refusing to pay to help him because every time I do he just keeps doing the same thing. Anyway's their was an incident where things got out of hand and the police had to show up. I do not feel comfortable to oblige what happened because im currently still working on the situation with my husband. But in the end my grandma got hurt. He called his "mummy"  and cried wolf, said my grandma hit him. (which in fact was a lie) and his mother believes every word he says. So a few hours later there is so much drama from his mom posted on facebook. "nobody hits my son" Im going to beat this woman" Im an irish mother don't mess with me" number 1 highly inappropriate for facebook, our business is private and none of her business or the worlds. (just explaining to everyone here because in dire need of advice) Number 2. She did not bother to ask our side of the story. Never asked why it happened or why a man would lay his hands on a woman. Ever since then My husband and I have had a rocky relationship. I do not believe that a man should ever lay his hands on a woman, if he could do it to someone else he certainly can do it to me. There have been incidents in the pass where he lays his hands on co workers, 2 ex's etc. threatens to kill and maim. said his father who left him made him this way. His mother never said no, and never thought her son does anything wrong. Im currently working with my husband and his anger issues. We will be going to marriage counseling soon, and he will go on meds for his bi polar disorder. and see an anger management counselor. Problem is im afraid his mother is going to intervene because she brainwashes him thinks he is perfectly okay the way he is. He only holds a job, gf for 6 months to a year and a half because he wont get help. Im bi polar that is why im patient enough to help him. I learned from the best my grandma who isnt bi polar. Before I ask what should I do. His mother is obsessed with babies. I'm pregnant this is not going to end well in any way shape or form. His mother lives an hour from us. His cousins just had babies and she is up their butts every day. visiting asking to babysit. His moms house has mold in it. its behind the walls. She complains that their is always something wrong with her. Her husband aka his step father has been dealing with alcoholism on and off, active right now and im not sure how bad because I no longer go with him to visit. He since he moved in every other weekend sleeps at his moms. They always harass me to come too. I don't want to sleep on a couch. He is married to me and should not be leaving his pregnant wife to sleep at his moms, or to leave and sleep at his moms in general. He has lived with me since 9 months of us being together. a little over a year. She wants grandparents rights. I already made him aware of my dead decrepit body will i allow that. She can come visit. Or we will stop by here and there but this is our child and im not allowing that. he gave her a cell phone with a phone line through his plan which was so he and her could talk for free. she doesnt use the phone and continuously calls him from the house line, which in fact costs money. That he doesnt have. He doesnt find it important to keep reminding her to call from the cell. She posts nasty sayings and other things directed at me and my family on facebook. Another reason i wont go down, even to visit now is because im afraid they are all going to gang up on me at once and to be honest my baby deserves a peaceful gestation period. I'm almost to my limit with what I can take. If my husband does not do something or go to his counseling and go on his meds. I have no other options except a divorce. I do not deserve the abuse, frustrations, or anxiety, caused by his actions, or his families. I thought that I could help him through it. He is just very angry, his mother is very insane and he believes that he is not responsible for his own actions. Any advice. The thing is if divorce. I refuse to share custody and have my daughter corrupted by the insanity. I want whats best for her. please help?