I am going through this process of loving myself. Like to hear your views or if you need help with this D
I have decided that in 2010 I will love my self. I will be more self ish. To take care of myself. My posting on 4 children and your replies and looking at other postings has enabled me to see how little some of us really care for ourselves. Except up until now, I can see why I have given so much of me away. Longing for love,for attention that was never given, I now have to look into myself and love the person I am, knowing with confidence I am a beautiful soul. The Serenity Prayer I should have listened to long before now. Looking forward t hearing back from you D
I'd like to know this concept since I was not raised this way. I don't understand it but I've heard others talk about it. If you find out what it is, let me know! Seems like a lonely love. :(
Loving yourself, I believe also must entail, letting go of blame, much more, forgiveness...
which sets the soul free...
Forgiving my DIL is difficult sometimes, but I must continue to do so...harboring hate, malace, or wanting revenge, only makes my life more tipsy turvey...therefore, I must forgive her no matter what...and I do....I believe most of us hate it this way, and all it would take on both parts, is a simply, "I'm sorry", "Lets go forward" and we'd all be inclined to forgive...well, I vow to forgive without words...and my door is always open to my DIL...no matter what...
I live alone now for oh, 14 years...and lovin it...the longer I'm alone, the more I find out about myself...how independent I can be...yes, you become a bit selfish...for instance, I'd never remarry or even date...I like being able to watch anything I want on TV, going on vacation myself to where I want to be....eating when I want, going out to eat when I want...sure it would be much easier with another income, but that is no reason to date...or get married...therefore, it's a choice on my part...which has also helped me grow, and be more self aware.
Creme, I managed to do that this time!! I put aside all past hurts from DIL and just let it shwoosh over my head like nothing ever happened!! It worked wonders. I am not dragged down and have no bitterness today. I could see she was a little softer too!!!
I wish I had known about this concept sooner. I thought it had to be spoken in words but it doesn't. As long as it is in your heart and comes out of your heart, it is just the same!!
I'm almost afraid to say this but I will....I love and adore my DIL....after this visit, I do. I think of her as a loving wife and mother and if I put all bitterness aside, a loving Daughter in law. :)
Good for you! Bravo!!!!!! It makes me so happy to know that...Good work Lady!
MY THOUGHTS EACH DAY
Life isnt fair but it is good
Life is too short to waste time hating prople
You do not have to win every argument, agree to disagree
Cry with someone it is more healing than crying alone
Its ok to get angry with God, he can take it
Make peace with your past so it doesnt screw up the present
It is ok to let your children see you cry
Dont compare your life with others, you have no idea what their journey is about
Take a deep breath it calms the mind
Get rid of anything that isnt useful,loving and joyful
Whatever doesnt kill you really does make you stronger
Its never too late to have a happy childhood but the 2nd is up to you nobody else
Burn the candles,use the nice sheets,fancy lingerie. Do not save it for a special occasion. Today is special. No one is in charge of your happiness only you
Frame every so called disaster with these words.....In 5 years time will this matter
Forgive everyone everything
What others think of you is really none of your business
Time heals almost everything. Give time,time
However good or bad a situation is, it will change
Dont take yourself too seriously nobody else does
God loves you because of who God is not because of what you did or didnt do
Growing old beats the alternative of dying young
All that matters in the end is that you have loved
If we threw all our problems into a pile and saw someone elses, we would grab ours back
The best is yet to come
No matter how you feel, get up, get dressed and show up
Life is not tied with a bow but it is still a gift
If you do not believe in God look for a higher power than yourself
Thanks for sharing
Loving yourself is not allowing others to abuse, put you down,ridicule or hurt you. You do not deserve that so do not put up with it. You can choose your friends but not your family, would you allow your friends to treat you the same way.
You do not have to love someone who does not treat you well or does not make you happy, surround yourself with people who like you for you.
THANK YOU FOR SHARING
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference
THE SERENITY PRAYER
Those are just beautiful, Greeneyes....I am glad you posted them. I want to love myself and I think in spite of my circumstances, I have done my best. I have allowed my DIL to abuse me but I had too much to lose to not go back in.
We must do what appears right for us at the time, usually people who put us down or abuse are very insecure within themselves. If you can see it this way you will not allow yourself to be hurt by them, you will just let their comments or their behaviours ....just go...just let go.. Just realise you dont have the problem not unless you take it on board. You then will become much stronger in yourself. The hardest part is making a decision as to what you will accept and what you will not and sticking with it.
My DIL has really abused me....really abused me. In this scenario, should I just walk away and not have anything to do with them, ever?
I know what abuse is I have been there. Verbal,mental and physically are ther main ones, normally given out by people who are insecure, with low self esteem. People who have had loving childhoods and grown up with healthy self esteems will not allow anyone no matter who it is to abuse them. They know instantly when some one is not treating them with respect and will tell that person that they are offended and not to do it again. They will only allow that person in their life if they are treated with respect. Only you will know what you will accept. It is hard,heart wrenching when it has to do with your own children but it is up to you whether to make a stand.
I have with my daughter and her boy friend over the money issue and their verbal abuse. I have made a stand for my own sake,for my health,for my well being,for my sanity....I have let go...I will take action against the boyfriend because he is an adult and must take responsibilties for his actions....I hope this helps
I know what abuse is too....I don't think my DIL meant to do what she's done. She might do it again but since I know that her abuse is from her own issues, it does help a little.
yes, when we realise that the people abusing, are doing it because of their own issues it makes it easier to understand and not take it all on ourselves
I think when we can step back and see what is going on ...it's easier to realize that most people are not trying to hurt us deliberately but out of their own issues, do. It's hard!!
The case of Isitme's MIL to be....I wonder if those are HER issues and Isitme is bearing the brunt of it? There is no excuse for it and it hurts badly when done to a DIL. I do realize that.
Remember to love and respect yourself
WHAT LOVING THING HAVE YOU DONE FOR YOURSELF TODAY
I have lit my perfume candles
had my breakfast
took my vitamins including the B multivite
exfoliated my skin
washed/driyed my hair
put on my make up
cleaned my home
had lunch
and have been on this wonderful site
Quote from: greeneyes100 on December 28, 2009, 05:12:44 PM
yes, when we realise that the people abusing, are doing it because of their own issues it makes it easier to understand and not take it all on ourselves
And it's best to leave them. If you are not there for them to abuse, they will just find a replacement.
normally they turn their abuse on someone else if you do not tolerate it, they can only abuse people who tolerate it.
Today I am writing down my GOALS for 2010.
personal home
1 be gentle on myself 1 more lights for garden
2 lose 6kg 2 paint fence
3 paint inside 1 room at a time
3 start walking 4 finish painting deck
4 my teeth whitened 5 paint french doors
5 1 short holiday
6 yoga classes
7 latin dance classes
8 help less fortunate ie money or time
9 new glasses
10 will not tolerate abuse
just some things to start with. I do this each year, I usually achieve each one there are more to add.
I start walking today no excuses anymore
Great posts, ladies! Creme, I live alone as well and I really enjoy it! I work a full time job, caretake my mom, play with the grandkids I am allowed to see, go out with my girlfriends and go home to peaceful home and do what I want to do and when I want to do it. It is pretty nice to love yourself!
if we do not love ourselves no one else can
SO very true!!!! ;)
Today I have loved myself by seeing how much wiser and more experienced I am then the younger people around me. I have also realized that "forgiveness" is part of loving yourself, and when you forgive someone, you absolutely will feel more valuable in the end.
Cheer's to me!
AWESOME, COCO!!!!
Cocoa...that is so true...excellent post...yanno, it's so good to fill up our lives with people, both young and old...