I have to come back in and tell everyone about this! I received an email from someone we all thought was not being honest with us. We (especially me) jerked the welcome mat out from underneath her and showed her the door.
I think you need to read this because I think it's very important:
your opinion is valuedSunday, March 28, 2010 5:14 PM
From: "WiseWomenUnite.com" <kv@kirkvandenberghe.com>View contact detailsTo: lisacmatthews@yahoo.comYou have just been sent a personal message by willingtohelp on WiseWomenUnite.com.
IMPORTANT: Remember, this is just a notification. Please do not reply to this email.
The message they sent you was:
Dear Coco,
As someone who can relate to being drummed out of the group (heck, I didn't make it a day), I hope you'll stay involved. I enjoy reading your opinions and can tell that the group also values your imput. Also, as someone who really wanted to get advice from you and the other "wise women" here, you have an opportunity that not everyone has. Don't pass it up beause of one or a few PMs. You fit in here where others like me have to sort of stay on the fringes. Take advantage of the experience here, because for those who can participate, it seems to be so wonderful.
I apologize if you didn't want to hear my two cents, but I didn't want to see you throw away something that is really a great thing. I hope you'll reconsider.
She signed this letter in her own (real) name. The reason I'm posting this is that I can see clearly that I was mistaken about this woman. I thought she had motives. This simple act of kindness to me from someone I basically threw out, is so very wise and smacks of belonging to this group here!
I hope everyone here will let me invite her back in. I don't want anyone feeling as though she shouldn't be here, but I believe this email is worth much more than words! It's tells me that I have made a "silent" member out of someone who really deserves to be here!
Please post your opinions here, now that you have this copy (word for word and unchanged other than deleting her name). I would hope this email means to everyone else what it meant to me and personally, I would like to apologise to you, "willingtohelp" for my own weakness at recognising the "WISE" woman who was offering to help! And aparently still is, even after being treated so badly on her first visit here.
Willingtohelp, if you will openly come into this forum, I will! I won't do it alone, but with you here I will! OK?
I'm so sorry that I didn't see you for who you really are. I hope you accept my sincere apologies and post your thoughts and feelings here in this circle - where I believe you belong. I think you are a very wise and unselfish woman.
Thank you for writing to me...
Coco, first of all I am beyond thrilled to see your sweet name again!! I love you, we all love you. I wonder what happened to the one who wrote you? Was it something someone said? I guess it was. I hope she'll come back.
You stay too, Darlin.....we need you, we need each other.
Come back, Coco
Come back to where you belong
Come back and help us understand...
hold our hand all day long
When you leave it's not the same
it makes a difference when you're gone
Come back Coco, come back
Come back to where you belong.
I don't know what to do with you! You are the sweetest friend, Chickie!
I wrote you a poem....did you see it? I really am begging you to stay. IT's not the same without you.
I loved the poem. I did receive that PM through my emails from willing and realized I had made a mistake with her and pushed someone out that really belonged. I'll come back if she will and I wrote her a PM asking her to check this post.
I believe we were both pushed out in a way. If she is still "willing" I would like to come back in with her. Two "black sheeps" return like bad pennies... LOL!
That email really got to me. It took courage to write that to someone who was adamant about her "not belonging here."
Oh my Lord!! I suffer from severe guilt complexes on top of all my other problems. Did I push her out? Oh, I hope not! Was it something I said? Actually, the earth's axis can be tilted by me uttering a single word!!!
Chickie, if you look back at her original post, I believe it was me that got the doubt's rolling and jerked away the welcome mat. That's why I feel so bad now. I pushed her out and others just "manned the canons!"
At least that's what I remember.
I did look and all her posts have been removed. It shows nothing.
I remember her. Her post caused a big division here. I think it was removed because of the division it was causing. I remember it was me who had doubts and I was adamant that she didn't belong. I saw red flags, but I was wrong obviously. This is proof and I believe she needs to stop being a "silent" member. I was the main one showing her the door and I feel I need to invite her back. This should come directly from me, but I also think she needs the invitation from others too. I believe her feelings were deeply hurt and she needs to know we want her here.
I want her here!!!!
I swear, this is just like Day of our Lives. We have so much drama here that we don't even need soap opera's. Lord!!!
Amazing that someone would write that letter to the person responsible for her exit and the begining of her "silent" membership..
Yes, Willing I want you here too! As a matter of fact I want to come in with you. I believe we've both been through the same thing and I believe you are brave and compassionate - definately unselfish.
Can't be much wiser than that.
Quote from: 2chickiebaby on March 28, 2010, 04:56:52 PM
I swear, this is just like Day of our Lives. We have so much drama here that we don't even need soap opera's. Lord!!!
I GUESS WE ARE THE SOAP OPERA!
Come back, Willing!! Please!!
Just don't say: "you are NOT the baby's father!!!"
To Coco and anyone else...
Please don't think you took away the welcome mat, I did it to myself. I came and posted, and as you might have guessed, I'm more of a science person than a verbal person. I ruffled feathers and saw a group that I'd come to admire be hurt by what I'd posted, so I deleted my own post and apologized to Luise. Creme and Luise have been giving me advice through PMs and I've been trying to catch snippets here and there to apply to my own situation.
To Coco
Thank you for the invitation, and I'm glad you're back as well, I may change my name to leave some of the past behind, but all I wanted to say with my original name is that I'm really here to be helpful and to be helped by you gals. I just knew so many people here had been hurt by some rotten apples, and I wanted to let you know I'm not in that barrel and don't want to cause any problems.
Willing, I DID take away that welcome mat. But I had it drycleaned today and now that it's dry I hope you will walk back in here and join us. I hope we can understand your fears and your feelings and find a new space for you to sit here! Right next to me - the other bad apple! LOL!
I'm happy you're here and that you found room in your heart to be here. I'm ready to be here if you are and would be honored to have you reply to my posts and get your opinions and advice.
As you can see, I need it very much!
Feel that? It's me hugging you! I hope you do...
Chickie, she is not the baby's father! ;D
Hmm. This feels good! All these wonderful wise women welcoming another one to the circle of friends. I wonder what we will learn from eachother? The possibilities are endless... :)
Well, I think we all have to realize that when we get this close we are bound to step on toes. We all belong here. That's my belief...unless we come in full of hate and vengeance.
I have left for months on end because I couldn't cope with the rest of my life and had nothing left for our forum.
willingtohelp and I have remained friends and connected...and Coco is a cornerstone. We just have to ride the waves that are part of life. We're naturally sensitive. That may at times be a liability but it's also what makes for compassion and empathy...and that's the fuel that runs WWU. This is an intense forum. Would we really want it any other way?
Luise, I wouldn't want it any other way. Oh! And thank you Chickie, for writing to me. You made it really hard for me to stay out, but then willing sealed my fate! Very wise and compassionate women!
I have to go for a bit. Got some driving to do - I'm the cab...
Can you press pause? Oh! That's right, you can't pause soap operas! Almost forgot ;)
You are correct, I am not the father. That would be quite a feat of engineering indeed!
I decided to take Luise's suggestion and shed the old screen name. I am still not the father, but I now share a name with my dog. Does that add to the soap opera?
Oh, yes! (Violins..) "Will Clover wake up from her coma and realize that her worst fears have come true???? Is she actually a dog that was once the Abbot of the Monastery where being called a Father were so confusing that he forgot he was a girl??? Tune in tomorrow! (More violins.)
HAHAHA! (evil laugh) but Clover, I am named after my old companion coco who passed away, but I still love her (and chocolate too - brownies/bars).
Chickie will be upset that you are not the father... (Du du du done). She will have to find out who is now :)
Clover is good! Irish and springy! I think you belong here!
it's so hard when Maury says: "you are NOT the father"!!! The woman sits there, then falls to the ground screaming and can't believe it.... No !!!!
She was so sure he was the father!! Now, who is it? Sometimes she has to come back and go through more possible
Daddy's. It's awful!! The whole thing starts again. Sometimes, he says, "I ain't your baby's Daddy, he's Chinese!!" (the man is not and neither is she) The presents a whole new set of problems.
Sometimes he IS the father!!! Boy, this is when it gets good. She dances around and points. She gets real happy,
especially if her Mother is there.
THAT'S IT!!!
DS is the father! He goes by DH too sometimes!
;D
Or, maybe it's Maury?
OH! Mom? Can you come over here?
could be....you never know, Coco. 8)
Baby pops up and says, "me love you lonnng time!"
I'm so perplexed: Where is Willingtohelp? Did we scare her off?
HA! She's clover now. Check out her posts above. She changed her name! ;D
Tiny, tiny, tiny print. Picture wee little letters...and pale ink. OK? Who's Maury?
And didn't anybody like my Soap?
Luise?? DUH!! It's Maury Powvick....he finds out who the Daddy is. Anyone who doesn't know who the Daddy is of their baby, Maury finds him. Sometimes it take 4 or 5 men but he finds him. The baby's Momma is confused, can't remember who the Daddy is. She thinks it's someone but sometimes he ain't the Daddy.
When he ain't the Daddy, there's trouble. She wails and cries and runs off the stage. She just has a little trouble remembering
is all.
Sometimes the man who ain't the Daddy says: "I done told you I ain't your baby's Daddy"....she thought he was.
yes, with the violins? yes, very much...I liked it. This is what we have here, an ongoing soap opera without music. If
you could please get Kirk to add music, we'd appreciate it.
Goodnight Gracie.
Are you talking about TV? I can't believe this! You mean a reality show or something?
Goodnight, George. (Thought you had me, didn't you?!)
Luise, your soap opera was perfect!
PINGITY PING! PING!!!!!
Magical too! I like violin music :)
Oh, thank you. I thought all of that astounding creativity had been wasted.
Ah, those Pings. How lov-er-ly!
G'nite...dear friend(s).
Willing is still here, just renamed Clover, after my dog. She's a mostly German Shepherd from the pound. She's so cute because she has the regal act of a GS, but every now and then, when she thinks no one is looking, she switches into this "dumb dog" look like Doug from UP. And then she'll catch herself with this silly looking grin and her tongue way out and straighten up and return to looking regal. She's my buddy so I consider it an honor to share her name.
So glad you're here, Clover!!
Hi Clover!
It really is an honor to shar your dogs name! My coco was a german shephard mix too, but she's in heaven now waiting to walk me in when I get there! I truly believe dogs are angels who come here with a special purpose (and Luise has said this before but not here). I think they come to teach us unconditional love. They are truly messengers who bring love and compassion to everyone they meet! And they don't judge us or hold grudges! That's a good thing and I'm happy you have an angel with you brightening your days!
Oh! Good morning! Sending you big hugs...
Good morning Chickie! I'm glad you're here too! I know you were talking to clover, but I just wanted to say that and didn't really know which thread to say it on! LOL! ;D
All kidding about my huge information-deficit concerning TV aside...(and it's endless!), I am really impressed with all of you.
Most especially to Clover for not giving up on us; for being "willing" to understand our initial response and for hanging in there..."willing" to heal the break. That's a lot of Willing! She kept the door open with me and then took a "where does an alien go to register" stance with some of our members via PM. That's remarkable.
Following through: those members backed down and regrouped. They listened, contributed and expanded. Do you all see the beauty of their combined efforts? I'm sure you do. I just wanted to celebrate. We are Wise Women!
And if clover had not been willing and brave, we never would have seen nor had the chance!
Thanks again clover! We are happy you're here and you deserve to be here! :)
Thanks to all for letting me join in the fun. And to Luise, I love the soap opera. I watched them a couple of times in the past and wondered how anyone could get into them since they're so outrageous. Then I lived life a bit longer and realized that sometimes life is so much crazier than the soaps.
Coco - Do you think your Coco (dog) sent the birds and squirrels to comfort you?
Hugs, Hope
Oh, what a lovely thought.
Quote from: Hope on March 29, 2010, 09:02:02 PM
Coco - Do you think your Coco (dog) sent the birds and squirrels to comfort you?
Hugs, Hope
That really is a lovely thought, but no I don't think she did send them. She was alive at the time and was at my side already. She did however become great friends with all of them and I have pictures somewhere of her nose to nose with a squirrel. She never harmed any of them. I believe God sent the birds and squirrels. You can read my post about it if you haven't already. It's in the inspiration folder. Thanks Hope!
By the way, Hope, if you look up the "Birds and Squirrels" posting in the Inspirations folder, look around in there. There are some other wonderful writings. There is another one that will really touch your heart that Luise wrote for her DIL. It's called "Poem to My DIL," she has had alot of comments about that poem in these threads.
Enjoy!
And when I sent her that poem, she called me up in tears and said, "Oh, Momma..." :D
I can't wait to read the poem Luise wrote her dil. I'm going to get to business right away. i already read the bird/squirrel story, Coco, and loved it!
Hugs, Hope