OK. I need advice and I need it bad. As you know my son moved back in with me and I hadn't talked to him without DIL controlling every conversation until now. I'm sure DIL knows how I feel because DS and I have had some conversations since he's been here. She's been trying to get him back though, I think?
My problem is this. She is suddenly buying groceries and sending them here. Stuff I already have in the house (I'm military and can take advantage of comissary prices). I've thanked her (just today), but I don't really know how to act...
Any advice would be appreciated :-\
She's trying to get him back....end of story, Coco. Try to say nothing to her or to him!! Very important!!
I've already stumbled through telling her that it was a very nice gesture, him too! I don't want to seem ungrateful and don't want to stoop to her level. I just have reservations...
I'm not too sure how to handle this?
Coco, don't say anything to her that would be held against you later. Just bite your tongue.
Thank her.
What I'd do after that (bout a week down the road or so), I'd quietly take the duplicates down to the local food bank. That's just what I would do.
My hubby's grandparents use to do this to us....bring things we had already and we were living with limited storage space...we just couldn't keep it all. Their hearts were in the right place, we just couldn't keep it or use it up.
Thanks! I'm very good at that (well, in person). LOL! I don't know how to take this sudden change though. Do you think DS talked to her??? Do you think she really understood how she was acting?
Tricky situation. Whatever you do or say can be turned against you in a nono-second....by one or both of them. I think I would leave it up to DS to interface with her so you don't get caught in the middle. Ask him if that makes sense to him. It's their marriage that is breaking up.
I agree with C/B that you need as much distance as possible.
Quote from: Orly on February 04, 2010, 03:58:29 PM
Thank her.
What I'd do after that (bout a week down the road or so), I'd quietly take the duplicates down to the local food bank. That's just what I would do.
My hubby's grandparents use to do this to us....bring things we had already and we were living with limited storage space...we just couldn't keep it all. Their hearts were in the right place, we just couldn't keep it or use it up.
I already thanked her and told her how sweet she was to think of our hoursehold????
Quote from: luise.volta on February 04, 2010, 03:59:55 PM
Tricky situation. Whatever you do or say can be turned against you in a nono-second....by one or both of them. I think I would leave it up to DS to interface with her so you don't get caught in the middle. Ask him if that makes sense to him. It's their marriage that is breaking up.
I agree with C/B that you need as much distance as possible.
DS was there when I thanked her and told her how sweet it was to think of our household here. I said it to both of them.
I am ALL ears... A little sceerd, but all ears. I need all the help I can get!
Coco,
Ok you were right on top of the thanks...the son and Dil were there to hear you....will you son really know what is in your pantry? Does any guy really know what is in there? Mine look in and see nothing and then are surprised when a dinner is pulled together from the stuff that "wasn't" in there. They just don't see it.
This is so true Orly. He has nothing to do with food. I'm the food person here!
Balloon goes halfway down....
Quote from: luise.volta on February 04, 2010, 03:59:55 PM
Tricky situation. Whatever you do or say can be turned against you in a nono-second....by one or both of them. I think I would leave it up to DS to interface with her so you don't get caught in the middle. Ask him if that makes sense to him. It's their marriage that is breaking up.
I agree with C/B that you need as much distance as possible.
I'm taking your lead. I really don't know what to think of all this and can't let myself trust it. My heart is in my throat.
Then best bet would to be to wait and see. Wait and see if DIL brings more next week or two weeks from now. If she does, once again thank her in front of your son. Then sit your son down and discuss the financial ramifications of buying groceries, without the commissary discount, later when you have that alone time. Then let him handle the DIL bearing gifts.
I also think this is one of those "go with the flow" instances. Stop lifting up the BOUNTY and looking for that time bomb under it. Try not and worry about it until it pops up again.
I think thanking her was your only option. Refusing it would be too contentious. Nothing wrong with a simple thank you for a simple gesture. Could be weather-related? If she really wants to butter your biscuit, it will take more than soup and staples. Doesn't she know, only Red Velvet Cupcakes can kick off a real bribery campaign!
I agree with all to step back, say nothing, and let DS and DIL do their thing, whatever it is or isn't this week.
Oh Sass! My favorite! And I have the original southern recipe. They're ok from the grocery store, but this recipe makes them taste awful. I'll try to remember to post it. Then again, sounds like you already have it! LOL!
Post it Coco or send me it by PM ....I WANT THAT RECIPE!
RED VELVET CAKE
1/2 cup shortening
1 1/2 cups sugar
2 eggs
1 tsp vanilla
2 ounces red food coloring
1 TBSP cocoa
2 1/4 cups flour
1 tsp salt
1 cup buttermilk
1 tsp soda
1 TBSP vinegar
Preheat oven to 350. Cream shortening and sugar. Ad eggs one at a time, beating after each addition. Add vanilla and food coloring. Sift flour and salt together and add alternately with buttermilk to creamed mixture (I don't sift because that was mainly done to separate the bugs from flour - back then). Sprinkle soda over batter, then pour vinegar over mixture (it will foam). Stir until well blended.
THE BEST RED VELVET FILLING!
1 cup butter
1 cup sugar
1 tsp vanilla
1 TBSP cornstarch
1 cup water
Cream butter and sugar until creamy. Cook together cornstarch, vanilla and water until very thick. Cool (I put it in fridge till cool). combine the cooled vanilla/water/cornstarch mixture with butter/sugar mixture and beat (and beat and beat) until of whipped cream consistency (the mixture will be weird at first and you may think it's too moist to do this - keep mixing). Fill the Cake.
refridgerate and enjoy!
Cupcake recipe sounds great. Can they be done without the food coloring - I know they will no longer be red velvet, but it doesn't affect the taste, does it?
I would be very polite and cordial with whatever she sent, and just stay out of it. If you don't want to use the products, give them away. I wouldn't even get into it with your son about being able to get them cheaper at the commissary. If he tells her that it just puts you between them. If there is even a chance of reconciling, you don't want to be there in the middle.
Just stay nice, polite, and above any nonsense and nothing can be blamed on you. Just my opinion.
Quote from: Meryl on February 05, 2010, 06:18:16 AM
Cupcake recipe sounds great. Can they be done without the food coloring - I know they will no longer be red velvet, but it doesn't affect the taste, does it?
I would be very polite and cordial with whatever she sent, and just stay out of it. If you don't want to use the products, give them away. I wouldn't even get into it with your son about being able to get them cheaper at the commissary. If he tells her that it just puts you between them. If there is even a chance of reconciling, you don't want to be there in the middle.
Just stay nice, polite, and above any nonsense and nothing can be blamed on you. Just my opinion.
I think this was a very reasonable and good post...and feel the same way...good points Meryl
Quote from: Meryl on February 05, 2010, 06:18:16 AM
Cupcake recipe sounds great. Can they be done without the food coloring - I know they will no longer be red velvet, but it doesn't affect the taste, does it?
I would be very polite and cordial with whatever she sent, and just stay out of it. If you don't want to use the products, give them away. I wouldn't even get into it with your son about being able to get them cheaper at the commissary. If he tells her that it just puts you between them. If there is even a chance of reconciling, you don't want to be there in the middle.
Just stay nice, polite, and above any nonsense and nothing can be blamed on you. Just my opinion.
Thanks Meryl! That's exactly what I did. I've tried to find room for it, and I know my son feels like this is something he is contributing to the household so it won't be thrown away. There are alot of drinks and they will always come in handy. I mixed everything in with what we already had here.
Thanks for your opinion. I get suspicious when she gets "nice..." You just never know. I think she's trying to get my son back. I'm laying low.
VERY IMPORTANT POST:
How long to bake the cupcakes?!!!!!!!!!!!!
Is "filling" the same as "frosting"? If not, how to "fill"?
Hey Sass!
I'm not sure of the timing on cupcakes. It's a cake recipe, so if you want to check - stick a toothpick in one of the cupcakes and see if it comes out clean (then it's done). Another way to tell, is to push down gently on the tops, if they spring back then they're done!
I would cut back the baking time for cupcakes. Another rule of thumb is - when you start smelling them, then it's time to check and/or start watching them.
I hope this helps! Enjoy!
Hey, we MILs ARE talented! ;) Who knew?
Quote from: Sassy on February 05, 2010, 08:32:45 AM
VERY IMPORTANT POST:
How long to bake the cupcakes?!!!!!!!!!!!!
Is "filling" the same as "frosting"? If not, how to "fill"?
Oops! Missed the second question - yes, filling is the same as frosting. This is wonderful buttery frosting. Very rich, but melts in your mouth!
Quote from: renny97 on February 05, 2010, 12:23:59 PM
Hey, we MILs ARE talented! ;) Who knew?
Yep! I guess we have our good points don't we. Ignore the slapping sound... I'm patting my own back.. ;D