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"Welcome to WiseWomenUnite.com -- When adult children marry and leave home, life can sometimes get more complex instead of simpler.  Being a mother-in-law or daughter-in-law can be tough.  How do we extend love and support to our mothers-in-law, adult children, daughters-in-law, sons-in-law, and grandchildren without interfering?  What do we do when there are communication problems?  How can we ask for help when we need it without being a burden?  And how do our family members feel about these issues?  We invite you to join our free forum, read some posts... and when you're ready...share your challenges and wisdom."


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Messages - devastated grandma

1
Grandchildren / Re: DD and Signicant Other took GD away
November 17, 2013, 03:35:25 PM
Thank you DixieDarlin! This forum really helps..it is good to sound off with others in similair situations. The jornalling aspect is also very healthy.
if I read some post correctly I hope that you find a happy place.. even if the GS is moving hours away.
2
Grandchildren / Re: DD and Signicant Other took GD away
November 16, 2013, 04:43:22 AM
Hello.all..
I am.doing ok. I have post.concussive syndrome, neck injuries, and am haunted by the terror of the event of the accident. It has been difficult but I am going back to work Monday.
I miss the way my life used to be. I always took pride in the fact that I raised two good girls on my own. My DD, the oldest was involved in many sports in which we traveled all over our state and I worked alot of concessions. I really just don't understand how she could turn out to be so hateful and use her daughter like this.
I am still talking with my GD occasionally, when she lets me and I have apologized and admitted my part. I only continue to send love and she still won't let me see her or my DD. she keeps telling me that we will meet and talk but she keeps finding excuses not to. after what I've been through life is too short and I just want to see them.
so very sad. I have not gotten any apology and everything is blamed on me. The daggers keep coming and I've been told by others that they enjoy my suffering, especially the SO.

I hope to all grand parents out there that they never have to go through this... and if you are not alone.
DG
3
Grandchildren / Re: DD and Signicant Other took GD away
November 01, 2013, 11:55:57 AM
hello all I am doing okay dealing with a head injury..I have spoken A LITTLE with GD and also have not seen her and I still am not allowed.. I just keep throwing the love at them and not talking about anything controversial.l Someday the barrier will come down I am going to just keep my mouth shut from now on even when it is most difficult..just so I can see her.
Thanks to all you wonderful ladies! I know this happens all the time and I am not alone.

P.s. I have alerted the school "watch out" for my GD.
4
Grandchildren / Re: DD and Signicant Other took GD away
October 20, 2013, 05:43:49 AM
Thank you so much! It has been a bit rougher since I was on here last. My youngest DD and I were in a serious car wreck and we were t.boned and flipped three or four times. My estranged DD did show up in e.r. but was cold.. did notcome to my side..in view until iI requested her to. She brought the SO which I did not like and unfortjneatly voiced it and now my DD still wont let me have any contact. W e are injured and in the process of figuring everythkng out. I would like to see my GD now but she wont budge. She is cold  hearted and I dont even know who she isanymore.
I feel most sorry for my  GD.
:'(
5
Grandchildren / Re: DD and Signicant Other took GD away
October 13, 2013, 04:52:18 AM
I see her in my dreams and wake up missing her.
I would give anything just to talk on the phone.

GRANDMA MISSES YOU!
6
Grandchildren / Re: DD and Signicant Other took GD away
October 07, 2013, 03:19:11 PM
Thank you .. I have just discussed the school route with one of my best friends just yesterday. I appreciate the extra added assurance.as well as the support.
I have also been to a natural vitamin store and acquired some calming elixirs to help with the edginess of this emotional rollercoaster.
  >:(  :(
7
Grandchildren / Re: DD and Signicant Other took GD away
October 07, 2013, 12:16:04 PM
Thank you for the replies friends.

The first 2 years of motherhood were my DD was still stuck in the party mode. She was 19 when she had my GD. I supported here on a revolving door basis, but the last time she came in I put a rule that she goes out once a week, leaving her with me. She agreed but was out 6 out of 7 nights leaving my GD with all sorts of random people while she went out late late into the night. I did ask her to go, expressed I don't want custody but she could leave GD with me so she can go get it out of her system. She was offended, took her child and left. A year later, first steady job, relationship & car.. she admitted the tough love was the best thing I did for her.
When GD was 4, DD was partying less, but things took a terrible turn when her and her live-in SO (at the time) decided to take someone in that needed a crash pad. My DD started going out and left GD with this boy who was 17. He sexually abused my GD and I was the one who figured out what was going on. We all went thru counseling but obviously after that safety is always a bit more "slap-happy" of a subject.
Her newest live-in relationship with current SO is under 8 months old. SO insists GD calls her mom and the "new grandma" her mother be called GM. I also have reason to believe their is child abuse, mental and physical from SO but I have no evidence.

The SO has been chipping away at my DD and has cut all person's off and my GD and I are very sad because we are so in love.
I am accused of being judgmental, overbearing and interfering.

I have never been so disappointed in ALL my life. I also raised my 2 DD's as a single-parent and although who is perfect I did a darn good job. I will never understand.

I am only completely at peace when I am asleep.

:(
8
Grandchildren / DD and Signicant Other took GD away
October 05, 2013, 07:15:23 PM
My DD and her significant other of only 6 months have cut me off from the light of.my life. I have been completely severed from the.6 year old who shares the same.love for me. This is only hurting people. There is no.other reason except her SO is a manipulating and controlling person who has alienated my DD from all friends and family. I am not only sad but very angry. Grandparents should have more rights.