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Problem Solving => Adult Sons and/or Adult Daughters => Topic started by: Pooh on August 26, 2014, 11:50:14 AM

Title: SD update
Post by: Pooh on August 26, 2014, 11:50:14 AM
I haven't spoken about SD in almost two years.  Well that's because we haven't spoken to her since she took off for another state to attend college.  It wasn't about that, it was about her fleeing to this college because of an inappropriate situation with a man.  It's a long story, some of you will remember, but it ended ugly.

Well for the last two months, she's been texting DH.  At first it was slow, now it's more often.  She actually ended up leaving this person after a few months, got a job, sharing an apartment with a couple of other students and making her way.  Am I convinced she has changed?  No way.  Am I happy that she has been communicating with DH.  You bet because he was devastated over the loss of his only daughter.  He knew it had to happen, but he was devastated.

So almost two years later, communication has opened back up.  We talk here about not having false expectations or hopes.  Don't pin your hopes on something that may never happen.  But I wanted to share that sometimes, when left to their own device, they might just realize they messed up.  Hopefully, this will continue and her and my DH can get back to a civil relationship.  Right now, he's being very cautious but I can see how relieved he is when she texts.
Title: Re: SD update
Post by: shiny on August 26, 2014, 12:04:48 PM
That's encouraging news, Pooh, and hope the situation will move forward in positive way!

Life goes much better when we are at peace with our loved ones.

Sounds like your SD is a young adult?
My semi-estranged DD is approaching forty years old, so my hopes are not too high right now.
Title: Re: SD update
Post by: luise.volta on August 26, 2014, 12:56:02 PM
I agree. None of us have a crystal ball. I'm so glad the door is open...and your caustion is wise indeed! Sending hugs...
Title: Re: SD update
Post by: Pooh on August 27, 2014, 12:01:40 PM
Yes shiny, she's just 21.

I'm just staying out of the way for the moment :)
Title: Re: SD update
Post by: Pen on September 01, 2014, 12:09:11 PM
Pooh, thanks for the update and the great advice regarding letting things "just be" for awhile.  Best wishes :)
Title: Re: SD update
Post by: Smilesback@u on September 15, 2014, 12:13:00 AM
Hi Pooh, I was surprised to read your post.  Of course, it is such a relief to know your SD is alive and wants to stay in touch.  It might not be more than that, but that is something good for now.  One day at a time, and no expectations good or bad, just be present to how you feel, own it, and let it go.  Most all of my stuff is based on the past and I find it terribly rewarding to actually lay it down, and realize that I can deal with one day at a time.  Hugs!