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LL, Nice to meet you. I do understand allowing yourself to be used or hurt for the sake of a GC. A dear friend of mine has been going thru this for about 4 years now also.

Kate, I do hope you've had a fantastic day with your grandbaby. What joy they bring to a hurting heart. I know.
Kate and Didi both, I truly am sorry for the hurt you have and send you both warm thoughts and hugs. I know that is little comfort.
Surprise of all surprises I've had a really nice holiday thus far and I sure wasn't expecting it to be. DH is home from the hospital and holding his own.
Our newest and youngest DIL was so sweet to me. (Brace yourself) but she even HUGGED my neck for her gift and kept saying how much she loved it. And ladies that is the first thing in 2 years she hasn't refused or acted as if she could care less about. I think I'm still in shock. Must be her preg. hormones? LOL But I'll gladly take what I can get. Her bright and happy attitude even made the other children and the wives even more comfortable because she was kind and friendly.

I've noticed people all want a "poor me" story. Like I was treated bad growing up, my wife is a witch, my husband is mean etc. etc. I would make a horrible Oprah guest. I had fantastic parents! I love all 5 of my brothers and sisters! My marriage has had its bumps but we are still hanging in there after 28 years. They aren't perfect by a long shot but we raised 4 children that do take care of their selves.
But that's me. I've heard countless stories of how bad someone has had it since it became cool to be the victim.
I call them Oprah Stories..
Yes there is to many that are true sadly. But just as many if not more that aren't. That is someone wanting to blame anyone but their selves for their messed up life. But it's their doing mostly. Not a parent. IMHO.

Didi, I'm sorry for what your daughter is putting you thru. Reading your words and I could almost feel your sadness.
If I've read it once , I've read a thousand times of the damage FB does to families. 
When you live in a small town something like that can be worse. Because everyone knows each other so even people who aren't your friend on FB knows all about it.
I don't know how old your daughter is? But my guess she's old enough to know better. Shame on her!
I wish for you a nice Christmas and a very happy new year.

Luise, I've never heard that saying before. I've also never read a quote that describes me so perfectly either. Thanks for sharing that.

Pen, I have a son who likes to turn it back on me like yours did. He's guilty that's why. IMO.
He knows he should be ashamed that he only calls when he needs something.

Thank you Luise

Hi Lisa, sorry for the hurt you're experiencing right now. I was curious if you had spoken with your children about how you feel?  I've read where AC will not care at all about how their Mother feels but I've also read where the AC (adult children) had no idea that their Mum was feeling this way because of their actions.
Many (not all) children want to connect with the parent they've not had growing up. And them being young adults it's probably easy for your ex to reel them in with new cars etc. Not saying it's right. Just that it is.
I really hope everything gets better fast for you.

You have a wonderful attitude Pen. I like your outlook.

Shiny said,   "Maybe I should strive in the upcoming new year to develop more meaningful friendships/activities instead of relying on family to meet that need."
I'll join you dear. I need to do the same thing. So for the new year my goal is,  1)to get a life. 2)straighten up my life! I can't find anything anymore and it's making me crazy! So I'm starting in the back of my home moving forward one room at time. I will find my Xmas decorations by next year or die trying! LOL
I've missed you ladies the last few days! You do my soul good reading here. And give my heart hope. Hubby has been in hospital again the last 6 days. Good to be home.
EJ, you've come to the right place to find caring people. I hope the advice helps and you are able to find peace.

This is exactly what our youngest son and his wife have said to me. "Mom, because my wife is an only child and her father has passed our child will be her moms only grandchild. You have others."
I was actually pretty shocked at someone thinking like that. But she also thinks she is with and deals with her side and our son deals with us. It's just the weirdest thing yo me. I think my adorable grandchildren deserve all the love they can get from all family members. This DIL is so different than my other two and why I found this site to begin with.
Above everything tho this young woman makes our son very happy and the love he has for her is so clear a blind man could see it. That matters so much to me! So I will swallow my tears if need be and talk to the sweet women here. Hopefully it will work out. But I'm not expecting the close relationship I have with the others and YES that bothers me. But it is what it is.

I often give hand  embroidered items for anniversaries  , wedding gifts and baby gifts. I honestly try to keep things simple.
The children and grandchildren can get carried away with those wish lists. I have to be careful or I will get sucked in. I love making them smile.
I've given embroidered table cloths with matching napkins as a wedding gift to each of our married children.
Some may be able to turn that stuff out fast? But it takes me several months to finish one.
I follow up each anniversary with pillow cases or dresser scarfs. They seem to love them and thru the year I see that they are used. That makes me feel good.
I've done holiday table cloths and napkins upon request of my middle DIL. She will use them on special occasions.
I quilt also. It just makes me feel so at peace while doing these things. Each grandchild gets a quilt from MiMi their 1st b-day along with a toy.
My grandmother made the most perfect quilts. Every stitch perfect. I hope to be so good one day. I still refuse to use a machine. I prefer by hand.

Pen, I have a DIL like that about gifts. It makes us nuts! Everything we suggest for grandson and run past her we are told she or her family is getting that. (Every big , nice thing he wants) and he doesn't get the stuff when Xmas rolls around.
So last year we stopped asking. Bought what we wanted and told her what we got it.
Now she can tell the others we are getting that.
Now if we ask about something big she's wanting that's different.

Welcome Dragonzwing, so sorry for the hard times you and your grandchildren are having. Do you think the children are being hurt?

Lilly, I'm so sorry you went through that. I would of been floored also. You sound like someone who wants to see the good in others and that is a great thing. IMO
So sad your DIL didn't want to talk things out instead of letting them build up.
Pooh , your DIL sounds like a strong woman and smart. She should make the effort for her daughter. IMO
I wouldn't want any of my DILs to be like me. Heaven forbid. I only want like everyone to keep being family. I am so thankful I have that mostly.