Attending funerals and listening to the sincere and touching testimonies of friends and family always brings the same question to mind; did the deceased know that? Did the person speaking so directly from the heart ever say that or write it...or before the funeral...even think it through?
I would like to suggest that when we get a minute, we do that. Why not write it down and pass it on when it is still an option? Ask the person being acknowledged to keep it at hand and when things get tough, as they always do, to read it over and over again. I've started collecting kindnesses that others have put into words...not cards...original thoughts and comments. They are going into my "Atta' Girl" box. Often they are in an email or in a post on one of my Websites. I think I will remember but I don't. When I need to hear it again, it's no longer "there."
And I find myself doing that with those near and dear while making the same recommendation. Why not? What does it cost? What is it worth?
This is a good idea, Luise. I keep a "BZ" file - in the military "Bravo Zulu" is the equivalent of "Attagirl". :) When I need a pick me up, I look in it. It also makes me more mindful of making sure I pass along praise to others - especially at work, which can be soul-sucking when everyone is grumpy and on edge and nobody says please or thank you.
Thanks, E. This is feeling better and better. I think I will put in the two awards I won for my Websites in 2009!:-) (For Senior Volunteerism.) One was from the Foss Foundation for my counseling site and the other was from the Bank of America for WWU. I'm starting to feel better already and I didn't even feel bad! :D
When I was really down I kept a ''Happy'' notebook .
I noted down each day something that happened which made me happy , its amazing how little it takes
to bring on that fuzzy feeling .
Not quite the same thing Luise , but just something that made me feel better .
Great idea! I've got a work-related file but will start one for my real life too.
I think it's all the same thing. The Pre-Eulogy concept is probably an age-related thing but what we're all talking about is a reminder when we feel temporarily devalued that "It Ain't Necessaryily So..."
Can I include a picture of Antonio Banderas? That always makes me happy.
I keep a journal and although I write down the bad stuff, I also make sure I write down the good stuff too and then highlight it. I noticed as the last year has progressed, I have more good stuff than bad stuff and most all my days are filled with highlighted things. ;D
Here's to having to buy more Highlighter, Pooh. Wholesale, even! ;)
i renamed this thread! It's such a joy to read what others have to say about me when I forget. :)
I started a blog a few years ago and made a policy only to write about things that didn't annoy, depress, anger, sadden or bore me. It did help re-direct my attention.
When I first read this thread it made me think of writing our own eulogies. I don't have one in mind but I do want them to play Jimmy Durante singing "We'll Meet Again" or even this version will do:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-6cMQ6kBm0k
D - Lovely! Mine is "On A Clear Day..." I should look for it on YouTube. :-)
What I have needed and am creating is a collection of remarks that have been written to me by others...often at the bottom of cards. The comments always seem so much more personal than the cards. And they seem to help off-set the heartbreak I am facing daily with Val more than anything I write does.
I also do a verbal gratitude list the first thing in the AM and the last thing in the PM to try to stay balanced.
Sending love...