WiseWomenUnite.com

Oh, my friend, it's not what they take away from you that counts. It's what you do with what you have left. ~Hubert Humphrey

welcome paca! Good to meet you.

right on momnomore!

thanks Paca I have redefined my family now minus one son.  It is really hard for me because we work together so when I am at work he ignores me.   He once told me that when he was having relationship problems with girl friend, now DIL that I was to blame for it.   Here is the story: DS lived across street from me at one time and I saw new girl leave apt with wet hair at 5 in the morning.  The Dil now asked me the next day if I saw so and so leave and I said yes.  I do not lie.  My son and DIL say that it was intially my fault they broke up the first time and made them fell bad about each other.  Never mind that DS cheated!  No responsibility for his actions it was all me.  I told DS and MIL I do not have such super powers but now I wish I did.   This is where it gets good.  I continued to talk with DS and one day he called me and said that he wanted me to co sign for a car>  I said NO and that is when he said I was no longer his mother.  It has been one ride I will tell you especially in April of 2010 when my GS was born{before they married} and he only weighed 2 pounds.  We were allowed to see him at hospital but now that he is one year old we have seen him only a couple of times because DIl says she doesn't trust me with her son.  MIL sees and takes him ever where!  I finally told my DH that we are done,  I will miss my 1st GC but I never got to bond with him any way.  Sorry I got into my story but I felt you were in my shoes.  Thanks again:}

Thank you for your comments and support.  It has been a hard 5 years with my Adult son especially since we were so very close.  I originally blamed it on DIL however after much thought and therapy I know Adult son has entitlement issues.  Some how in the process of not wanting to be an abusive parent  like my own Mother and father were I over compensated with Adult son.  I don't regret my parenting though because my other 3 adult children love, respect, and support me always.  What it comes down to is choices.  We all have to make them every day.  How are we going to behave and how will we present ourselves to the world.  I truly believe that Love does Win.  And that is just what I will keep doing with all my children.  Love them forever, even though I now must move on,  emotionally, from my DS.

also the new post I sent concerning family pictures where I put MIl it should have been DIL oops!

Ruth you are so awesome, love your post so very very much to mom the smuck.  Please please mom the smuck read this one over and over again!

My adult middle son just got married 2 days ago and at the wedding my entire family was there even people from other states.  We were not asked to be in any pictures with the wedding party and all the pictures done were just my DIL family.  There weren't any causal pictures taken either and they had a girl there walking around for those.  When I called my son to ask why didn't he have our side of the fams pics he replied he has a new family now and told me to grow up when I cried about it and proceeded to hang up on me.  I have had so many problems with my son especially with him holding my grandson over my head for everything.  My birthday was a couple days ago too and he didn't even call me which was at no surprise cause it was the 5th time he has done that.  The MIL also asked me to buy GC a wagon which I did it was a 180 dollar radio flyer and after i GAVE It to GC she took it back for the money.  MIL also asked me to pay for rehearsal dinner for wedding which was 400 dollars and then didn't invite me or my husband and my other children.  When we want to visit my only GC MIL gives us hoops to jump through and they are never very reasonable ones and change on her whim.  MIL has told me our family is poor and vulgar because she comes from a very well to do family.  I am getting this all off my chest because I am finally taking my own advice and getting this burden gone from my life even though it means not seeing my GC who is just awesome.  I am doing it for him because of the tension and ugliness this road has become.  Love you little GC and god bless your life.  Goodbye.

  I TOTALLY love this comment because I have finally taken my own advice.  I will not be emotionally abused ever again by adult son and DIL.

Footloose just wondering why so angry and mean at the end of your post.  As far as an island I am not on one. Thanks for caring.

I feel somehow you have given up.  I have car seat and I am perfectly capable of watching GS out of the home.  DIL however doesn't feel safe about it.  I drive professionally and I have a full resume on child rearing.

Amen to that!

Sorry your situation seems very sad.  I hope you can find your way.  Reading about metal illness recently reminded me that sometimes as parents we are soooo powerless to do what we feel we have to but can't due to our limitations. 

My middle son has just recently allowed me to see 1st and only GS however we have been jumping through hoops to see him.  DIL doesn't let us take him out of home and visits are supervised! If we don't call 3or 4 days in advance we get a lecture.  We are supportive of these demands but it does get waring when things don't go as planed and then we are called baby ditchers.. ...which I think is very funny since GS is only 1 years old and doesn't understand ditching.  I am truly just about done with it because even though I love my 1st GC to death I cannot abide by my MS and DIL crazy attitude towards me.   I really appreciate what you are going through with your son too.  I never thought I would be placed on a horrible, fake mother list but alas there I am.  I am not any of that and so I am moving on. Thanks again for all the support.

I have another question for the forum.  If said GS and Girlfriend do not let me take my GS any where because we are not allowed should I put my foot down?  It makes me sad and mad that I am dealt with in such a manner that I am not trusted to take GS any where!  Glfriends mom gets GS all the time and is trusted to care for him.