March 28, 2024, 07:14:02 AM

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"Welcome to WiseWomenUnite.com -- When adult children marry and leave home, life can sometimes get more complex instead of simpler.  Being a mother-in-law or daughter-in-law can be tough.  How do we extend love and support to our mothers-in-law, adult children, daughters-in-law, sons-in-law, and grandchildren without interfering?  What do we do when there are communication problems?  How can we ask for help when we need it without being a burden?  And how do our family members feel about these issues?  We invite you to join our free forum, read some posts... and when you're ready...share your challenges and wisdom."


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I have been visiting this site for a while now reading all the posts. Its a great site to help people going through problems and provide support at a very difficult time in their lives.

My situation is that i have divorced my wife.
when we met We fell in love and i hope that i would be able to give her everything she would want and more. unfortunately like a lot of the DIL's you all talk about there was a specific was she wanted her married life to be and it did not include my FOO no matter how much they tried. They all wanted to love her and be a part of her life. They left us to it as they realised she did not see them as being part of her life. Not wanting them to come round our place. Not wanting to go there and when i forced them to come to my house she would act in a way to ensure they knew she did not want them there.

i looked to her parents for support and got nothing. they wanted me to do whatever she wanted and justified her behaviour.

This broke my heart. So many guys out there accept this as the norm. I honestly felt like i was betraying people i loved by letting this go on. I loved her and i loved them. I had to choose. i was forced to. 

If a person really loved me surely they would not put me in that position. My FOO had cut me loose as they did not want me to choose as they believed that she should be the priority.

I was only married for 4 years and am quite successful professionally. I work in a fortune 500 company and lead a large team of strong individuals. The reason i am stating this is that as i think of this i realise in my own home i could not be the man of the house. How crazy is that. the smallest decisions needed her approval. i got more respect from people twice my age and a lot more powerful at work than i did in my own home where i had to get approval before inviting anyone round. All the things she liked about me are what she wanted to change afterwards.

But this caused resentment to build up between me and my wife. i guess this generation is very self centred. Being this way can only bring more misery.

Anyway the reason i am posting is to share my story and also say that if you all want a guys perspective i am here. I don't know how much i can help but i would like to.

I often speak to my parents about how the young women of this generation seriously lack respect that previous generations maintained. i get angry. not at these DIL's but at their parents for raising them in such a way that they have this sense of entitlement and my way or the highway attitude.

What goes around comes around and i am sure that they would not wish to have DIL's like the daughters they have raised.

sorry if i am rambling