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Hi CG, it's nice to see you again, but I'm sorry things aren't going better for you.  I haven't been visiting as often either, for similar reasons.   My heart actually aches after reading some of these posts.  As much as we don't understand our dc; I think they oftentimes don't even understand themselves.  But until that day when they become enlightened, we have to take good care of ourselves, so that we'll be here to witness when they drop to their knees, begging our forgiveness.  : ) 

It may have been me that mentioned a WWU resort.  Strange you should mention it, as I've been giving it more thought.    I've also seen mention of going on a tropical vacation...  I wonder how Kirk might feel about meeting us in person?  I hear the weather is lovely in Hawaii this time of year.  Just sayin'...   : )

Thanks Luise, I needed that particular reminder today...  As always, you hit the nail on the head.  : )

You guys are hilarious.  I didn't know what Dirty Santa was either, but figured since Pam's a dil, it must be good. lol   Just what is clotted cream fudge, Luise?  And Pooh, what was the gift everyone wanted? 

Smiles, delegate, my dm still tells dc, "I'll LET you do x..."  -or- "You CAN do x, while I ..."   Every time I hear her say those things, it makes me smile, as I never learned that trick either. : )

This has been a year of renewal for me, also, AL, since finding my way to WWU.  Luise & Kirk are miracle workers, of sorts, with a help from all these other wise women.  I bottomed out & was forced to do some major changes.   Sounds as though you've done likewise, AL.   Good for you!  I'm no longer dd's doormat.  Hopefully one day, she'll grow up.   I'm moving on though, as I've learned I can't hold my breath for as long as it may take.  : )

Pooh led several of us to www.myfitnesspal.com & we 'friended' one another.   You can't help but lose weight with everyone cheering you on.  Come on down, Muffin...  Luise, Pooh, Pen, Sesamejane, Smilesback are also there.  If you look me up, I'll 'friend' you so the others can do likewise.   I'm wwrose.  Pooh does a much better job explaining it than I can.  You can read about it here:

http://www.wisewomenunite.com/index.php/topic,2007.0.html?PHPSESSID=0f956765f0ccbb727d0c95be2aee60b8

Muffin, I've been seeing gc from time to time; dd just didn't bring them at our home, for whatever reason.  He remembered everything, even Grandpa's favorite snack.  My heart melted right then & there.  : )

I'm happy to hear your Christmas went relatively well, Muffin, & that ds was first to call you.  I was an after thought, dd's arrived as the day was almost over, but at least we got to visit dd, sil, & gss'.   I was happy as a clam with the gc.  It was the first time they've been to our home in 2 years, but surprisingly ogs' memory is still very fresh.  I didn't give baby items, as it's been frowned upon in the past.   Besides, I grew weary from being unappreciated.  My gd is due the first week of May. 

Autumnlady, take heart...  Sometimes we have to let our dc fall & pick themselves up before they can appreciate us.   I've missed a lot of precious time with gc.  I'd hoped with the 2nd, dd would think outside of herself, but that was not to be.   Since stepping way back, dd appears to appreciate me a little more.   I was broken over not seeing gs after babysitting for 2 yrs, but this year, I've invested in myself.  Dd knows I'm no longer waiting for her; nor can she use gc as weapons, as it's difficult to fight someone unwilling to battle.   Invest in yourself so that when ds & gc do come around, ds appreciates the dm he's got...  ((hugs))

This is a very special gift
That you can never see
The reason it's so special is
It's just for you from ME!

Whenever you are lonely
Or even feeling blue
You only have to hold this gift
And know that I think of you.

You never need unwrap it.
Please leave the ribbon tied.
Just hold the box next to your heart,
It's filled with love inside.


Merry Christmas everyone...  I'll be hoping that each of you find a Christmas miracle today.  Love, Rose

Awe, ya'll have a great time, Pooh!   

I haven't read all the posts on this thread; have an appt. soon, but wanted to say hi to you Muffin.  Congratulations to you.  Yes, this baby is a part of you.  You want to know what keeps me going through all the drama & conflict?  I once saw Tonie Morrison on Oprah's show.  She asked, "Do your eyes light up when dc enter the room?"  She said she was critical of dc, was their hair combed, shoes tied, etc.  Light up, Muffin, & just wait till you see their response!   

p.s.  I've got a new gd on the way...  : )

I have issues of my own with dd, Elsie, but I do believe AM's right about your ds.  Something about him reminds me of my favorite nephew.  His dm wasn't in his life until he was grown & by then, he was in full rebellion phase with db with sil.  He went to live near dm, met a girl, got involved in drugs, got married & had dc.  They split up & he wound up spending a few months in jail, over drugs.  He took the long road back, but he did it himself.  He's my favorite because of his spunk.  He'd give you the shirt off his back.  He's the best df to his dd's!  He's #1 of a dozen to think of gm on Mother's day.  What goes around comes around, Elsie, & I think the day's coming when he's going to make you very proud.  I sense that boy has true grit, like his Mama.  : )

"Sometimes God calms the storm...Sometimes He lets the storm rage & calms His child."    ? John H. Groberg, The Other Side of Heaven

http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/show/160117

I came across that quote last night & feel certain that's what He's doing with you today, Nan.  You belong at dm's side today, and for what it's worth, you've got a bunch of Cyber-sisters there alongside you & dss'. 

My dm had surgery a few months ago & was very confused afterward, asking for my dad who'd been deceased 20 years.   When the dr. was told, he immediately took her off whatever pain meds she was getting.  It wasn't an immediate change, but it certainly helped.  Sending love & prayers to you, & dm~

I think maybe you're referring to Dr. Coleman...

http://www.drjoshuacoleman.com/

Nice to see you; hope you feel better soon, parentsol~

I remember your earlier posts regarding dd & ss, & I understand your concerns.  What I see though is that neither you, nor dd, are making moves to improve matters.  You're the one paying the rent & for her education.  You are ultimately responsible for what goes on in that apartment, and you do have the power to put a stop to it.  The longer this goes on, the worse it's going to be.  If I were in your shoes, I'd call her bluff.   Do what you know needs doing, for all your sakes.  Putting your foot down may even save ss in the end, no telling.    Unbeknownst to us, dd's bf was an alcoholic.   They were living together & she covered for him as best she could, until he dumped her.  They would still be together today, had dh & I put up with it.  Dd was headed for a life of misery.  She was supporting bf while we paid for her school.  Dd wasn't happy with us but she moved on, she's got her degree & is happily married now.  She knows she doesn't have to take abuse from anyone as she's fully capable of standing on her own.  Our shoulders sometimes have to be broad enough to carry the entire load, Dvg.    She may pitch a fit, as mine did, but hold your ground.   I know it feels horrible, but contrast that to how you'll feel in 10 years when she blames you for her lot in life?  You can do it, dvg, have faith in yourself & faith in your dd. 

AM gave you some great advice earlier...  Hang in there, dvg!

I'll be here pulling for you, too, Pooh.  FWIW, dd had some moles removed a couple years ago.  They were quite large & went rather deep.  They looked infected for a time & took a good long while to heal.  They also left ugly scars.  This last time, they used a laser treatment & they healed much better, as well as faster.  I don't know if they can use a laser in your situation, but you might want to inquire about it.  Wishing you the best, Pooh~

I know you've got a lot to contend with now & will also have adjustments after they've left.  Just try not to lose yourself in the process.  And yes, what you said makes complete sense.  I'm sorry you have to go through this, LL, you deserve much better.  We can add dd to the list of WW.  Good for her!  : )

Quote from: Pen on October 18, 2011, 08:34:47 AM
If I could talk I'd ask DIL why she hates us; I'd ask DS if he is ashamed of us; I'd tell them DH & I deserved the same respect and consideration that they give the ILs; I'd tell DS that we love him just as much as the ILs love DIL; I'd ask DS if he thinks he has changed to accomodate DIL/her FOO; and I'd tell them I will no longer accept snarky, critical comments about me, DDD, my home, my friends, my career, my community, my car, my taste in clothes or home furnishings, my interests, my looks or my intelligence. Whoa, look out! WWIII coming!

Don't let anybody tell you otherwise!  Anytime you feel ready, let us know & we'll come & guard the door for ya'!  : )