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Thank you for your advice! I was just sitting here thinking about it and all of a sudden a travel deal came across my computer screen..Get away from it all, spend Christmas in the islands! Hawaii that is. I'm seriously thinking about booking a vacation with my DH . I think he would love it. Every year we say we want to and by the time we are really serious, everything is sold out or ridiculously expensive! Sounds like a great idea and what a coincidence that it pops up now!

Just saw this!! I feel exactly the same! My DS has been on" family vacations " with FDIL's family for the last 7 years! Needless to say he hasn't been able to go on one of ours. I think this incredibly selfish and is intended to hurt us. DS has also not been home on Christmas for the last 7 years. He is always at FDIL'S in another state. They Gift us with their presence 4 days after christmas and spend the majority of their time with there friends in the city. By the time they leave we feel like we never even had a discussion or time to catch up! My DS knows this but is unwilling to discuss it for fear of getting into it with FDIL. After they leave they return to FDIL parents house for a few more days and then on to their home. Im sure it must be evident to FDIL parents but nothing is ever mentioned. I'm at a loss as to what to say! It hurts us to the core! FDIL is completely in charge of DS's life. I wish I could talk to him about it , but it just makes things worse. Any words of advice out there??

S... Thank you so much. I really needed to hear these words today! I will take your advise and try to spread the happiness around my other boys! I feel deep inside that my DS will come to realize that he has been censored and isolated by her. Maybe by not thinking about this so much I will take some of her power away. Im so glad I found all of you..I always felt like I was the only one experiencing this mess! Just look online  and see how many "happy" faces there are! I know that is just window dressing. I feel better just knowing that Im not a complete failure as a mom. Sometimes it feels so embarrassing to admit that there is a problem. I will just be me and let the judgmental statements roll off my back ..LOL!!! Thanks again!!

Thank You!!! Will read "open Me First"

Our adult son has changed so drastically that we barely recognize him. He blames us for his wonderful childhood after dating a girl from a lesser background. He now feels that we gave him too much!! That we didn't give him the tools for success because we did too much for him, i.e., private educate, college car etc... My husband and I worked for everything we had and both of us came from broken families. We always wanted to give our children more than what we had. The girlfriend shames him daily for his connection to his mother. My son and I were always very close. Now , he is another person. When she is not around he seems more like himself, but those times become less and less. My heart is broken. If I attempt to defend myself he distances himself. He also shares everything I say to him in private with her. My trust has been broken. I love all my sons and this scenario we never saw coming. Nothing hurts like a son who judges his mother. I really don't know how this has happened. He was so happy. This girlfriend has him hook line and sinker now.. Any advice out there as to how I can keep my relationship with him without making it worse???