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Nana, you make perfect sense. Isn't it funny that our kids find it so difficult to think of us in any role other then their moms. I truly believe that they don't think we ever had a life before them but I think this philosphy is more noted now then when we were growing up. I always respected my mom as a hard working woman who dealt not only with her job but her four kids. These days  all I hear about is the stress that they deal with, do they really believe that we didn't deal with stress lol. 
In my case I think it is easier because I live so far away (Scandinavia) and its not like I could just drop in on them .   
I think this site is a great contribution to all moms  and my prayers are with you all.

One thing that kind of gives me some peace is although I might not get thru to him, perhaps one of his children will feel the same way later on in life. That will be one of those  AHA moments  ,    I often say to my kids, may your children treat you as you see fit to treat your parents.   I use to sit and think for hours on what I could of possibly done to deserve this treatment from him and after a few years, and my daughters saying nothing , I consider it just one of those life situations I will never understand. 

Hi all
I have been reading your posts for some time now and although I have never posted, I must tell you how happy I am that I came across your site.  I won't bore you with my story because frankly although details might differ the outcome is the same.
I am a mom to four children, now adults , three daughters, one son.  The girls and I all enjoy close relationships in spite of the distance between us. My son is the oldest and the one that I have problems with.  We have not spoken in six years but the six years prior to that were when he slowly decided he no longer wanted a family (his side) in his life. Although we had a very close family unit during their childhood, he no longer sees the need to share his life with me, his sisters, or any relative other than the ones related to his wife.
I think I read somewhere on this site that the feelings we all have are very close to the stages of grief that one goes thru when they lose someone . Giving that some thought, I believe that is very true.
•   Denial (this isn't happening to me!)
•   Anger (why is this happening to me?)
•   Bargaining (I promise I'll be a better person if...)
•   Depression (I don't care anymore)
•   Acceptance (I'm ready for whatever comes)
I guess I must be at that acceptance stage because although I would never of chosen this type of relationship with my son, I accept that it is his life and if that is how he wishes to live it then so be it. I don't pretend to understand nor can I put myself in his shoes because   I can't even comprehend doing this to my Mom when she was on this earth.
At any rate, thanks again for developing this site, it always helps to know that there others dealing with the same situation and are just as confused as I am.   Hugs to all