You all know the issues with my Ex's wife and how she has been to them. One of the conversations FDIL had with her about 6 weeks ago was about baby showers. She had asked if FDIL was having one and she told her that I was giving one. So SM told her that she would do one for that side of the family. Ok. So I had invited my side and FDIL's family, which ended up being 65 invitations. My Ex has a huge family and could have easily invited around 100 to theirs. Ok, so I have proceeded with mine, not concerning myself with them. In the meantime, of course the drama between FDIL/YS and SM/DF have gotten worse. Not my problem as FDIL and YS have been dealing with it. I truly have stayed out of it as much as possible. The part I have been dealing with is the fall-out. I'm the one having to try and keep FDIL calm and dry her tears. I've not been flattering to Ex's family throughout this but merely telling her "That's how they are. You are just going to have to make the best of it and not worry about them so much." So I have in no way been holding up for them, but I haven't been trying to turn them away from them either.
So Saturday comes, I have her, her Mom, my DH and myself at the house. We have the cars packed and it's about a 30 minutes before we have to leave to go set-up. We're sitting, laughing and talking and FDIL is so excited. Her phone goes off and she has an email. She just sits and looks at it then I hear it "ding" and "ding" again. She's reading and getting upset so we're just looking at her. She looks at me and says, "It's Ex's sister. She just emailed me and wanted to know why I didn't invite her Mother to my shower and why I am being mean to her Mother. Then she follows that with why will I not answer her."
THAT'S when I finally blew. My Ex's Sister lives several states away. She doesn't email, text, FB or call FDIL and ask her how she is, how's she's feeling....nada. I looked at FDIL and basically barked out, "Don't you even answer her! I will!"
And I did. I grabbed up my laptop, logged in and let her have it. I told her that I was giving the shower, it was my decision who I invited and FDIL didn't have anything to do with it. I told her I was tired of the drama her family was continuously creating for the two of them and how ashamed they should be of tormenting a pregnant girl and deployed man. I told her SM had been creating drama for them for months and that I had hit my limit. I told her that SM had told that they were doing their own shower and that was why I didn't invite anyone from their side. I pretty much ranted for a while and told her she didn't have to like my decision, but it was my decision and I would appreciate it if she would stop emailing and getting on to FDIL
We went back and forth. She said, "I'm just defending my Mom." I told her there was nothing to defend her from and they needed to be taking their issues up with the people that were actually causing them instead of FDIL/YS and that I was flat out sick of it. She then started backtracking and saying, "Oh I understand, SM is a big liar and we've all caught her in lies. We don't like her...My Mom doesn't like and only tolerates her...blah blah blah."
I finally just said, "We're leaving. Bottom line it was my decision based on what FDIL was told." I logged off and left. I can only say, if you have ever seen controlled rage...I was it. I was shaking, I was furious and I was so angry they she did that to her a couple of hours before the shower. She sucked the laugher and joy out of it for her for couple of hours. Her Mom and I both told her to not worry about it, that I had handled it.
We did have a great shower. It went well, she enjoyed herself and they got so many presents that they could use. But it weighed heavily on her mind because as soon as she talked to YS, she fell apart again that night. I got on skype with YS and told him what I had done. He was so mad at them.
What part of they are doing themselves in with them are they not getting? When I checked my email yesterday, Ex Sis had left another email asking me to please call her Mom and explain why she wasn't invited because her feelings were hurt. Then her Mom leaves a message on YS's wall telling him how much they adore FDIL and how excited they are about the baby......after not leaving anything on his wall since March?
ARRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!