I'm asking this not because I want them to be brutes but over time many of them have become whimps. Nothing like they once were. They are portrayed on TV, most of the time, as bumbling idiots. Wonder why?
Personally, I like a man, a manly man. Others might not-- but a whimp? I don't get it and was wondering if anyone else noticed it?
Women have come a long way but sometimes I think it's been really expensive in the sense that men don't know what the heck their role is. You can see the way wives sometimes treat their husbands and it's brutal, course thousands of years of bad treatment has taught them how.
I think you hit on it there BT. I think we have made them that way, to a certain extent. We wanted the same rights, freedoms, jobs, independence, etc...that we as women tend to have forgotten that they need to feel needed. So although I believe in all of that, I think we gained it at an expense sometimes.
Quote from: barelythere on November 03, 2010, 12:34:15 PM
I'm asking this not because I want them to be brutes but over time many of them have become wimps. Nothing like they once were. They are portrayed on TV, most of the time, as bumbling idiots. Wonder why?
Personally, I like a man, a manly man. Others might not-- but a wimp? I don't get it and was wondering if anyone else noticed it?
Women have come a long way but sometimes I think it's been really expensive in the sense that men don't know what the heck their role is. You can see the way wives sometimes treat their husbands and it's brutal, course thousands of years of bad treatment has taught them how.
I don't know BT.. I find that most of today's men are more sensitive to their families needs but I don't see that because of this they can be considered wimps. Men are pitching in with housework, child rearing, and all that implies. Actually I think it makes them more human then the chest beating neanderthals of years past. Honestly I think we've taught our sons to pull their heads out of the sand and take notice of everything around them, that leaves our guys in the middle more often then not. I do agree with previous postings that men are in the middle and trying to find the right balance, sometimes that teetering can be mistaken for lack of backbone.
Pooh
I agree that women have given so many mixed messages that men are sometimes beside themselves trying to figure out if they should step first with the left or the right foot.
I want my guys decisive yet understanding, brave but not foolhardy, loving but not gushing, and playful but not childish. Wow.. anyone know where I can find a man like this????
I was lucky enough, this go-around, to find that guy! He goes shopping with me, offers to hold my purse while I try on clothes and says, "Yes, that does make your hiney look big." He loves to clean house, girl movies and knows more about decorating than I do. He also jumps up in the middle of the night when something goes thump, gun drawn and searching for the bad guy. He holds my hand when we walk but pushes me from his right to left side as we are walking, depending on where shady looking characters are standing on the sidewalk. I have watched him cry over his daughter and get cussin' mad at a man that dropped a restaurant door on his wife and walked in.
I have to say, I have the best of both worlds and I remember to reward him constantly! ;D
But Laurie, my Ex (or TH as Luise has taught me today) was a big wimp. He didn't do any of those things, actually he didn't do anything but was content to let me handle everything while he watched TV.
So I am VERY lucky this time.
Now if only he could dance like Patrick Swayze you'd have it made.
He kindof looks more like pee wee herman when he dances. Does that count?
See Pooh...you are a very luchy woman. I found one more or less like yours....but he does not like to go shopping, he likes me to spoil him, but I feel so safe and protected with him. He does his manly things like solving car problems, maintenance etc. He was very helful with me when I was raising my children. He car-pooled for many years and even prepared my kids lunch bags.
Very lucky too. He is not much of I love you person....but I am already used to it....he shows his love with actions eventhough we all women like to be told we are loved. He does tell me that he loves me when I ask him. Well.... its ok
Define wimp.
Ok so I wouldn't let him dance in public if he resembles Pee Wee... but it's the thought that counts :)
Nana your dh sounds like mine.. he can fix anything (most of the time), has always been active with the kids.. I showed dogs when he my oldest was a baby.. dh called me one day and said that he got him to potty on the toilet.. such a proud moment he had while potty training out son. I worked nights when my little girl was born.. so he had all the nighttime duties including putting the kids down for bed. More then anything he was the financial planner and managed our money well enough for us to get three through college. Most importantly, he has always encouraged me to be a better person then I thought I could be.
Quote from: 1Glitterati on November 03, 2010, 02:13:20 PM
Define wimp.
A man who would stand back and allow his wife to use his children as a weapon to get the results that she wants. Any man who would not protect his children from this type of life, or any man who would not protect his wife from herself when she can justify any action that she deems necessary.
That is just my opinion.. hope I'm not generalizing to much.
Quote from: 1Glitterati on November 03, 2010, 02:13:20 PM
Define wimp.
A whimp (wimp) is: Wife to Husband:
"No, you are not going. I told you 'no' last week and I'm telling you 'no' this week. If you disrespect me, you'll be very sorry."
(I've heard this said in my own family)
Quote from: 1Glitterati on November 03, 2010, 02:13:20 PM
Define wimp.
from the dictionary: •a person who lacks confidence, is irresolute and wishy-washy
Slang.
n.
A timid or unadventurous person: "the impression that he is a colorless, indecisive wimp, and not a leader among men" (James J. Kilpatrick).
intr.v., wimped, wimp·ing, wimps.
To be timid or cowardly. Usually used with out: wimped out and refused to jump off the high diving board.
a weak, ineffectual, or insipid person
Well Laurie, I just can't stop him from dancing in public! He was the hit at my employee Christmas party last year, because it was so fun to watch him. And to make matters worse, he can't carry a tune but decided he should sing our wedding song to me on the karaoke equipment there to, because that would be very romantic. I don't think there was a dry eye in the house, and it wasn't because everyone was touched emotionally...it was so dang funny.
I figured out when we were dating that he was the type that didn't care what he did in front of anyone and I wouldn't change him for the world. Does it embarrass me at times? Oh heck yeah, but he is who he is. And one thing I did when I was working thru my divorce was make a list of things that I would want in a partner, if I ever dated again. One of the things I wrote....
"I want a man that doesn't care to make a fool of himself for me." He fits the bill!!!!
Quote from: Nana on November 03, 2010, 02:10:35 PM
See Pooh...you are a very luchy woman. I found one more or less like yours....but he does not like to go shopping, he likes me to spoil him, but I feel so safe and protected with him. He does his manly things like solving car problems, maintenance etc. He was very helful with me when I was raising my children. He car-pooled for many years and even prepared my kids lunch bags.
Very lucky too. He is not much of I love you person....but I am already used to it....he shows his love with actions eventhough we all women like to be told we are loved. He does tell me that he loves me when I ask him. Well.... its ok
Nana, I am so glad we found guys like that. They are not perfect, as we are not, but they are good people. I also think that many men just can't do the "I love you" all the time because of exactly what you said. They think we should know that because of their actions. It is nice to hear and mine does tell me every day, but it is actually his actions that makes me truly know it. My TH told me he loved me to, but never showed it, so I didn't feel it. They are just words and we are very lucky to have found them.
You too Laurie!!!!