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Stilllearning - Thank you! This is exactly the support I wanted to get when I first reached out to this site! It is as if we all know each without actually meeting. Your key words are - It will take some practice but you can change your focus to things you love other than our AC! You have given me the push I need to know its ok to live my own life! It was exhausting planning the 650 mile ride - just to see that beautiful baby! I am excited to become the couple we were 40 years ago - of course physically we are different - darn gravity - but the joy of spending time together is still there. My DH said I was exhausting him wanting to do all this traveling! But he did it to make me happy! Now if that isn't love, what is? Thank you for all the wonderful advice!

Still learning - perhaps it is all bittersweet? We raised AC to be self sufficient which is a good thing. And now it is up to them to raise strong, well adjusted children too! even though our marriages can grow stronger now, there is still an void. My DIL's Mom is in her glory having the baby to herself. They are there twice a week to help with the baby. Lucky her. I suppose this is the part of life I never knew happened. Raising the boys they were close to both sets of our parents. We were blessed. I don't mean any disrespect when I say this, but I feel strongly that with the emptiness I feel now, I would have opted out of having children. We were never financially wealthy, but the boys never went without, sports, travel, private schools. Now we sit here with boxes of photos and only memories. But it's about healing and moving forward to what lies ahead! Mahalo!

Still learning- Isn't that the truth! Short story - years ago my hair dresser shared that her DIL would not let her see the kids! I asked her WHY?! What did you do? My hairdresser said not a thing! I remember thinking to myself - you must have done something. I looked at her and began to size her up- she was a beautiful woman, very giving - she would go to the local nursing home and do hair - for FREE! I just couldn't come up with anything. Now it's happened to me and I understand! I have always been a person who believes things happen for a reason. With my husband and I this has brought us closer. My Mom has been a big help through this also - she continued to say to me - It's time for the 2 of you to do things you have always wanted to do!

Thank you raindrops! So many inspiring comments and suddenly I felt like I was hit in the face! I was talking to our attorney today and his daughter broke ties with him and his wife years ago. I asked him how they got through it? The silence and not seeing the Grandsons...he said we learned count our other blessings 

I want to thank everyone for welcoming me and letting me tell my story. A lot of your advice and comments are well received by this MIL. I did take a step back when "Herbal..." Wrote his or her 2 cents. You are right, there is more to this story than I shared. And you are wrong about not knowing a person after 6 years. I am in awe at your comment that our son wanted to distance himself from us - your comments were harsh and uncalled for. I did not share my story so that I could be attacked, you should be ashamed of yourself for being the "bully" in this group.
I want to thank everyone else for your time and words. After writing my original post - we got a call from our son and they asked if it was a good time to visit us. Of course! Are you kidding me?! It was more than a visit, our DIL shared with us an event that happened in her teenage years and why she was trying to sabotage our relationship. I'm sorry it is too personal to share, but let me say we now understand why she was trying to hurt us. So my story has an ending, our DIL knows we will always have her back in life. This situation has brought my husband and I closer and we are looking forward to our future - together. And visits from our sons...yes we have another son and DIL - they have no children. Thank you for letting me share - and Herbal - you may want to learn to keep your bullying comments to yourself.

Before our son moved 650 miles away our relationship was healthy and strong. He has been away for 7 years. He met his wife 6 years ago and has been married for 4 years. We now have a grandson. My DIL is from a family that makes it no secret they do not like people. My DIL was never taught social skills and ruled her parents roost while growing up. Unfortunately she has never given us the respect we give to her and our son gives to her parents. My son and husband speak on the phone daily because of our sons risky job. During our last visit my DIL voiced her dislike for my husbands advice to our son. For example the baby was fussy and so my husband said perhaps he was hungry or teething. My DIL called me to instruct us to stop suggesting these things...the baby is only fussy with our son! A week later the baby's first tooth came in. I keep my mouth shut with her and turn the other cheek when she tells me I'm goofy. There have been no plans to come home to visit us and if we want to see our son and the baby we travel down to them. But are instructed by DIL we can only stay a few days...one day for travel - the next full day of a visit and have to leave the next day. Which is fine, we don't want to interfere. But now our son has stopped calling my husband and during our last visit his joke telling and smiles have gone away. His good neighbor friend no longer comes to say hi when we arrive...our son says he isn't sure what happened to their friendship. I just wanted to share that as a mother of a son, it makes me sad that we won't be in his life to share. Not to meddle in his private life but to share and be included in this next phase of his life with his little boy. I will get on with re inventing things to keep me from having a broken heart. Thanks for letting me share.