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Maddiemoo - reading your post sounds like your daughter's husband has some major control issues with her and I just want to ask is he abusive?  I've read other posts on here where adult children stay away and anger is blamed on both the child and their significant other, but something in your post strikes me as there more there especially when you say "he would not allow it"  as in you aren't allowed to send HER anything.   
He also felt nothing about sending you texts that were so over the top abusive and threatening that it strikes me as a major boundary issue and red flags go up.  If he threatens and speaks that way to you I can only imagine how he speaks to her.   I really hope I'm wrong here, but something doesn't seem right.  I'm sorry, it's just my thoughts from your post and I hope you keep us updated. 
Also, I would print out every one of those threatening texts and keep them on record.  Good luck.

Sarah,

I do believe he is extremely controlling and opinionated.

I believe she needs a daddy type figure because her own father was not too involved after our divorce.  I think she says her husband's controlling and opinionated behavior as loving and dedicated!

Some of the things he did while they were just skyping during his Iraq deployment were to make fun of how she dressed, so she slowly changed her style. Just that in itself is controlling!

I think she feels she has to stay married  now forever and choose sides. I feel she especially feels this way after his obnoxious and abusive words to me to prove a point of independence and maturity.

He thinks the baby is "his baby".  She says it like it is cute, I find it controlling and  think it is macho and discounts her. The mere fact she will allow him to keep the baby from me in anyway also demonstrates his control and abusive nature.


I truly believe that while she is making many decisions and following his lead, that she at the ripe old age of 23 wonders what the heck she got herself into.   I firmly believe if a person is comfortable in their own skin they don't take offense to what they think others think, or what others say, or mild opinions or suggestions from their mother that they used to tell everything to.

Thank you Maddie for sharing all that with me. You are a strong and brave woman. Stay steady and I believe you'll see the day that she returns to you. If her husband is controlling she will have he fill soon enough. And she will realize the fool she's been,
Thanks again!

You are very welcome Dixie!

Hang in there!