My adult children (one son, one daughter) have families of their own. Geographically, we live far away from each other. I had hoped that H and I would still continue to be a constant figure in the lives of our kids and grandchildren. But reality set in.... we live too far apart for that to happen. I don't like it, but I understand it.
I hardly ever hear from my son; I know there's marital problems; I know it's better I don't hear the heart wrenching details. I asked my daughter if we could plan a visit to see her family. Her response was that they've got too many things going on, suggesting we visit in the fall. Ouch.
As I struggle with this, I am around others who have frequent contact with their adult children. If they live near their adult children, they share in the day-to-day and are entwined in the details. Others live apart from their adult children, but share the day-to-day details via daily phone calls and face time, etc.
I could mourn the relationship I don't share with my adult children, or... I could accept what is and celebrate their independence (that was the goal I hoped for as their parent). I choose the latter.