My kids like to poke fun at me and they don't have much on me so they pull out the same old stuff every time, like when I was a sick and exhausted single mother of 6 and they were all running around like a pack of wild hyenas and I was trying to take the one nap I ever had in my life and I roared from my bedroom, "QUIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
They tell that story every chance they get to anyone who will listen and I hate it because it makes me sound like a monster. They also love to tell about the dinner I used to make occasionally with red kidney beans, cabbage, onion and one measly package of kielbasa to feed our entire family. Hey, we were broke! Apparently, they didn't like it, but I never noticed any leftovers..... To hear them talk I fed them a quarter cup of gruel for every meal.
Come to think about it, my siblings and I still tease our mother about the Velveeta and grape jelly sandwiches on Wonder bread with the apple sitting on top of it in a greasy reused brown paper sack for lunches. (Everybody else had Flipper lunch boxes and bologna and cheese.) My mother just shrugs and says, "You were lucky to have it."
I'm just trying to get you to laugh about the teasing. In my case it is all in good fun (even though I know it, it doesn't always feel good)but it sounds like yours is truly hurtful. If I wanted to fight fire with fire this is what I'd do.
Go to the local gun shop and pick up a package of those targets with the outline of a human being. Draw a heart with a red sharpie marker in the middle of the cross hairs and paste a picture of your face on the head. Write MOM in big letters on the top. Hang it in your closet and have it ready. Then when the shots start, go get it, stick it up on the wall with a thumbtack and say, "I'm feeling lazy. I think I'll go get something edible. Resume fire." Then get your purse and take yourself out to dinner. Get dessert.