Mine are on loving yourself still have more to add
Yup, that's a good one. I'm also going to watch how I react to situations - I'd like to take a deep breath and count to 20 before I freak :P
my goal for 2010 is to do whatever someone/anyone tells me to do. I'm so confused now I don't know if I'm coming or going.
Apparently, I've raised a narcissist and the DIL I came in here to discuss is not really the problem, the other one is. What the heck? I know I've got problems, that's all I know. Maybe I'll concentrate on making myself better? :P
I will love myself more. protect and nuture myself. Help people who are deserving. lose 6kg. start walking which I started this morning. 1 small holiday. learn latin dancing. anyway I have heaps more on post loving yourself
Okay, that sounds good. I'll lose 6kg......what is that exactly? :-[
I dont know I still remember pounds LOL around 12 pounds I think
okay, I'll do that...and maybe I'll start walking and walk right across the state line and then across the country and for no reason at all, I'll turn around and walk back.
And then I might invest in something, like a shrimp boat with my friend, Bubba and become a Gozillionaire and mow a lawn for free. I might take up Ping Pong too and become a national champion. That's all I want to say about that.
Gee Girl thats sure way to loose weight LOL
well, I've got magic legs....Mama always said that.
can I borrow them
I'll ask Jenny.
can I ask Jenny
Oh boy that's a good one.
1. Find a second job b/c the economy has pulled down my work hours.
2. Get an adult female poodle with a good personality. (DH talked me into a poodle instead of a Shih tzu)
3. Send my non-confrontational letter to my MIL. I finished the letter but have not got up the nerve yet to send it. But I have to say it has taken a weight off my shoulders. B/c even though its going to hurt to hear, she needs to know why we've pulled away. DH has promised to back me if MIL wants to talk about the letter. Then it will up to her if she wants to change the relationship and decide to accept me for who I am or continue being alienated from us.
4. I want to snorkel again. That was literally heavenly. Please try if you havent's and if you can. But I have to get that second job first.
5. Continue working on exercising and taking my vitamins and continue changing my eating habits. Which I've been doing this for some time b/c my blood pressure has been creeping up. So far I've been doing okay expect when we go to Subway sometimes I sneak a couple chocolate chip cookies.
6. I shouldn't have put this one last. But I want to develope more Christian relationships and get back into church and reading more spiritual literature.
your goals are fabulous. A poodle is more inteligent true. No I have not snorkeled it sounds like so much fun and what a relaxing thing to do, I must try it.
I have students board in my home for some income which works well for me.
Fab idea sending a letter,it is great DH is backing your stand.
Be proud of yourself D
I will repaint 1 room at a time in my home
to look toward my higher power God for wisdom and guidance
give my problems that I can not solve to God
Live, Love, Dance, and loose weight...!!! The last one is an effort...LOL
Happy New Years everyone...
Happy New Year....the last one...darn I have to go on my walk this morning and I can really feel my self rejecting that idea. I will put on my shoes for a start LOL
I know...it's hard. You can do your best thinking when you're walking, though. Sometimes it is a creative time.
I have been for my walk, each day I will go a little further. Now off to do the grocery shopping, I have 6 International students to feed. Have a great day...D
We just got back from a walk in our wild "backyard." I feel so much better! The joints aren't as achy and my head is clear. Here's a new goal - to trust that doing what is good for me will actually feel good :)
Walking will never fail me. Walking will never belittle or betray me. Walking will build me up rather than cut me down.
Wonderful, Penstamen!! What a backyard...! Good for you!
Yes, we're out in the boonies. Ironically, it's one of the things DIL can't stand about us, but we love it.
I've decided that if you lived in a city where the buildings are inches apart? The DIL wouldn't be able to 'stand you' because you lived in a city where the buildings are inches apart. Lord!!
Course, if you lived in a mansion where the estate is named and the butler answered the door, you'd be cultivated and admired.
I'm not off on a very good goal setting session, am I? Kind of negative. Sorry...I will do better!!
Penstamen,
That's wonderful !! We are all going to have to work on what feels good for us.
I know some people think it's silly but I treat my little chihuahua like a child... she never treats me badly and loves me all the time.
I think I may get back into teaching at sunday school ...I can't lose in doing the Lords work Plus those kids love me !!! on my lap, telling me they love me, they make me little things... guess I am a grandma after all !!!!
Okay..here goes
I love to read but have decided to not pick one more book up until I read the Bible all the way through ( I have already started and I have bought a new bible that has a daily reading guide in the back so I can mark off what I've read )
I want to try to find at least one good thing about every person I see.
I hope I can expect so little from my son that I won't get hurt this year.
J2B,
You are gonna love that poodle.. I had one for years and he was such a good doggie !!
To always remind myself that each moment is a gift and to make the best of the gift that God has given us! Live in the moment!!!!
J2B,
I agree with others, your poodle is a friend for life. I had a poodle for over ten years and when he died, I vowed that I would never get another dog because I was so brokenhearted. Well nine years later, a precious red toy poodle adopted me (another story) and he is a beautiful friend (one year old now). He is so intelligent, was so easy to train and a wonderful companion......so glad he is in my life.
living in the moment Peace is something I try to do also
Quote from: greeneyes100 on January 02, 2010, 11:16:11 PM
living in the moment Peace is something I try to do also
You have a very good attitude...
Believe me, it took me a while to get the good attitude and I still have days I struggle with it. My ex is living on the property I inherited from my grandparents and he is being a jerk about it. So you know I was in bad shape if I left him on my property. That was in 2004. I had such a hard shell around me for protection that I took myself to some intense life skills trainings that helped tremendously. This is when I found out that I had codependent behaviors - you know - trying to fix everyone, enabling for the sake of peace. But I found out that peace at any price is no peace at all the hard way. With the help of friends, family, church and chatting with people who have gone through some of the same things I go through have helped me so very much! Hopefully, I can bring some advice, quotes, etc. to help you as well.
I would appreciate any help you could give me. I need it. Thank you!!
Quote from: Peace on January 03, 2010, 09:47:04 AM
Believe me, it took me a while to get the good attitude and I still have days I struggle with it. My ex is living on the property I inherited from my grandparents and he is being a jerk about it. So you know I was in bad shape if I left him on my property. That was in 2004. I had such a hard shell around me for protection that I took myself to some intense life skills trainings that helped tremendously. This is when I found out that I had codependent behaviors - you know - trying to fix everyone, enabling for the sake of peace. But I found out that peace at any price is no peace at all the hard way. With the help of friends, family, church and chatting with people who have gone through some of the same things I go through have helped me so very much! Hopefully, I can bring some advice, quotes, etc. to help you as well.
Is you ex renting from you? If not, check the laws in your state and watch out for squatter's rights. He may be planning on taking it...
No, he just sent me an appraiser to discuss one buying the other out. It is in the divorce decree that we must sell it and he has just now stepped up to the plate to get the appraisal done. The place is a mess. He is paying the taxes and insurance on it because the mortgage is paid. My parents gifted the property to both of us many years ago -----MISTAKE! It is such a mess, I would rather him buy me out and just be done with it. It would cost too much money to repair everything. It sits on five acres with another small house that belonged to my grandparents (built in 1945). I have a friend that is a real estate attorney that said she would help me out with advice.
Quote from: Peace on January 03, 2010, 09:47:04 AM
Believe me, it took me a while to get the good attitude and I still have days I struggle with it. My ex is living on the property I inherited from my grandparents and he is being a jerk about it. So you know I was in bad shape if I left him on my property. That was in 2004. I had such a hard shell around me for protection that I took myself to some intense life skills trainings that helped tremendously. This is when I found out that I had codependent behaviors - you know - trying to fix everyone, enabling for the sake of peace. But I found out that peace at any price is no peace at all the hard way. With the help of friends, family, church and chatting with people who have gone through some of the same things I go through have helped me so very much! Hopefully, I can bring some advice, quotes, etc. to help you as well.
Very, VERY good post and attitude...your right, absolutely, peace at all costs, is no peace at all! Hugs, Creme
Quote from: Peace on January 03, 2010, 10:35:37 AM
No, he just sent me an appraiser to discuss one buying the other out. It is in the divorce decree that we must sell it and he has just now stepped up to the plate to get the appraisal done. The place is a mess. He is paying the taxes and insurance on it because the mortgage is paid. My parents gifted the property to both of us many years ago -----MISTAKE! It is such a mess, I would rather him buy me out and just be done with it. It would cost too much money to repair everything. It sits on five acres with another small house that belonged to my grandparents (built in 1945). I have a friend that is a real estate attorney that said she would help me out with advice.
Good luck with that, I'm so glad to hear there is a real estate woman mentoring you...
Just an idea...
Do you think you could find a handyman who would live in it, and fix it up - in lieu of rent, - when your ex moves out? That would help you out and maybe the handyman too. But, be sure to check references...
Could be a possibility! If he doesn't buy me out, then I would have to buy him out though. Makes me so frustrated to know that I would have to put money down on property that belonged to my family, but he owns half. We were married for over 30 years. He is such a grudgeful, manipulative and controlling human being that he would go to any length to "screw" me because I hurt his pride by leaving him. Actually, he left me WAY before I walked out the door. I SHOULD have thought things through before I walked, but as I said in an earlier post, my mental state was very very bad. And to think that he was my high school sweetheart.....what was I thinking?????? I married at 19 years old and thought I could "fix" things. I saw red flags before I married him and did it anyway........and 35 years later..........a mess! Okay......this is where my choice comes in......move forward and LET IT GO!!!
Interesting to read your posts peace. I to went to many courses and read so many books to better my mind and thought patterns. I to was co dependant, the rescuer, the martyer,the scapegoat etc. I played each and every role to be liked or loved. Now I must have peace at any cost not the other way around. Every day I check my thoughts and where they are to stay in the moment. The book Stop Thinking and Start Living is fabulous but you must practise what it says. All about living in the now.
Greeneyes, I read a lot of Melodie Beattie books. The first one I read was Codependent No More. I also read The Language of Letting Go by the same author. These were daily passages that helped me tremendously! I also went to a very intensive life skills training in Fort Myers. The first one was called the Journey, a three day event, that taught and reminded one of tools to use to a better life. The second event was called ALPS, a four day event, that was VERY intense. WOW, did I learn a lot about myself! Some of it wasn't easy to swallow, but very helpful to assist me to a better and more successful life in the future. So many of us have so much baggage and don't know how to cope. I learned so much and try very hard to use them every day along with keeping God first in my life. There is so much pain we all deal with and learning how to deal with it and value ourselves is an important step to a better future.
Hi Peace yes I have read books similar to you and as you say it is amazing learning about yourself. Until I started the courses I had no idea that my past was impacting so much on my adult behaviour, my inner child was still hurting. I am so glad I did so much inner work on myself it really pays off. thanks for your input.
So true, Greeneyes! The trainings brought issues I had to my attention I had no idea I had! It finally had a name....like major codependency! Thanks, Greeneyes!
1. Keep my GD as much as possible.
2. Keep photos and accerate records of our visits.
3. Keep being a positive influence on my GD.