I know I can't do anything in the way she raises her daughter or how she treats me. I am trying to detach from her responses and the helpless or angry or whatever feelings that rise. I 'm working on it but do relapse. My GD is 9 years old and she feels that she is responsible for her mom's happiness. That is a lot to bear for anybody especially a child. At this stage I'm trying to demonstrate that we are responsible for our own happiness and that is it. I will not bad mouth her mom because that also is not fair to my GD but how can I show her that its not her job to give up so much of her childhood to try to make someone happy.