March 28, 2024, 07:56:51 AM

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"Welcome to WiseWomenUnite.com -- When adult children marry and leave home, life can sometimes get more complex instead of simpler.  Being a mother-in-law or daughter-in-law can be tough.  How do we extend love and support to our mothers-in-law, adult children, daughters-in-law, sons-in-law, and grandchildren without interfering?  What do we do when there are communication problems?  How can we ask for help when we need it without being a burden?  And how do our family members feel about these issues?  We invite you to join our free forum, read some posts... and when you're ready...share your challenges and wisdom."


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Messages - Gizmo778

1
Thank you for your responses. My DIL is basically waited on hand and foot by my son. She will not eat anything I cook. If my son isn't at work he is doing things at home.  MY DIL does not cook and the extent of her help is cleaning 2 bathrooms and washing for the 3 of them.  Frequently, my DiL does not eat until my son makes her something to eat at night and on the weekend my son cooks super for all of us.

I know I can't do anything in the way she raises her daughter or how she treats me. I am trying to detach from her responses and the helpless or angry or whatever feelings that rise. I 'm working on it but do relapse. My GD is 9 years old and she feels that she is responsible  for her mom's happiness. That is a lot to bear for anybody especially a child. At this stage I'm trying to demonstrate that we are responsible for our own happiness and that is it.  I will not bad mouth her mom because that also is not fair to my GD but how can I show her that its not her job to give up so much of her childhood to try to make someone happy.
2
My son, granddaughter, daughter in law and I share a home. Sometimes for days to weeks she will not talk to me. If my granddaughter is sitting at one end of the couch and I am at the other she gets all silent and starts brooding and and talking to anybody. This is affecting everybody. She will even behave like this when my granddaughter is sitting beside my son. My granddaughter has to sit on the arm chair with my DiL then she will act happy/ The longer my GD does not sit beside her the longer it for her to talk to my GD. Today I want to help my GD  and myself but I don't know what to do.