WiseWomenUnite.com

Hi KJC,

When I was pregnant with my second I could not get off the couch in the end. Maybe, you can let the housework go for awhile before the baby comes and let MIL take care of it when she comes. I wish I had had that really. The moving things around- just put them back when she leaves and the house is all clean.

The thing that might bother me is if she were an awful cleaner, like scrubbing the finish off the sink or the paint off the wall!

Kim,I think I previously posted this somewhere else by mistake, but here is my take...

I think these kids all went to the same school of thoughtlessness. My son did the same at Christmas. However I am divorced from his father. At Christmas I got a cup. The ex got about $300 in gifts (maybe, probably, more). We were all together. I was so embarrassed. It was as if they all said out loud "we don't really like you, but we had to give you something since you are here, and we had this cup...."  Really what IS the message when your kids do something like that? My thoughts...Just keep putting that knife in my heart, sooner or later it will kill me and you will be happy. I do not do Christmas, birthdays, or any other days anymore.

Hello Malfoyfan, please don't torture yourself by looking at facebook. I know it is hard, and it is almost an addiction and you will have withdrawals. And remember, what you see are pictures. Things are not always what they seem in pictures.

MORE than likely, you or your husband did nothing wrong. You are just victims of this generation gap. Forget them, live your life, be happy, spend your money! 

Just an FYI-I saw a few 'will' topics and just thought I would share what my lawyer told me ( in case someone does not know this). If you want to 'exclude' a child from your will you should actually include them but only give a insignificant amount, like $100.00. That way it is clear that you do not want them to have a portion of the bulk of the estate. By not mentioning them at all, it can be contested that you forgot to include them (the senile accusation), or it was a clerical error.

Cutie!

Pets are wonderful people!

As I see this, it is abuse. Abusive to you, and abusive to your GS. Alienation is psychological abuse. Unless there was abuse between you and GC, which I am sure there was not, there is no justification for excluding you from GC lives and being included at BD parties or Christmas or any other day. THAT is what family is supposed to be.
I am sorry this is happening to you, it is so cruel.

I did not know there was such a day.
The hurt is hidden because we are so embarrassed to be treated in such a way. Nothing hurts worse than seeing all the "good grandparents" out and about with their GC, or visiting someone who's GC are visiting, and GM And GC are so happy to be together. AND, THE VERY WORST is visiting your AC the DIL's parents show up and the GC's act like God came to earth- when they do not act like that when you show up- thanks to DIL. I better go walk my dog-she treats me very good!

I guess it is better than nothing, but I would sure like to be at least equal to others in my AC's lives.

As you may have noticed I love sayings and quotes. Sometimes they express what we cannot put into words ourselves. Here is another one I like...

"Friends are family we choose"

Yes Louise, I get the time constraints. But it is that, that is the only time he makes to connect with ME, he does not do that with others. Guess I should be grateful he even speaks to me?

I get THAT Louise. My kids are from two very different test tubes (not really, LOL). But if you listen to each of their stories you would not know they lived in the same house and grew up together with the same mother. Go figure!?
I always like what Lauren Hutton said, "I would not go back to 20 unless I could take my fifty year brain". Maybe if I was smarter I would have done better, but I don't want any do over's!


Live, Learn, then realize you will never understand anything. 

Hello GettingOld, I think these kids all went to the same school of thoughtlessness. My son did the same at Christmas. However I am divorced from his father. At Christmas I got a cup. The ex got about $300 in gifts (maybe, probably, more). We were all together. I was so embarrassed. It was as if they all said out loud "we don't really like you, but we had to give you something since you are here, and we had this cup...."  Really what IS the message when your kids do something like that? My thoughts...Just keep putting that knife in my heart, sooner or later it will kill me and you will be happy. I do not do Christmas, birthdays, or any other days anymore.

Oh, and when he does call me when I am in my car and he says "I've been trying to call for weeks, where have you been?" I will say "oh, sorry, but I haven't been in my car when you called". LOL. Do you think he will get it?

Hello Raindrops, Our kids seem to think that we are just not as busy as they are so we should be at their beck and call. Funny I saw this post because just this morning I said to someone "I think I will only call or take calls from my son when I am in the car to and from work, as he does". He will never call or answer from home, where the kids are so I might talk to them. It is almost like I am a dirty little secret. So that is my plan- only take call in the car. What is good for the goose...petty? maybe. But I am his mother and VERY tired of not being treated as such.

Pen, I think it is the alignment of the stars (kidding). My BF (long term) has been treating me in ways I could not accept so I left him alone, would not take his calls, and told him if he came after me the police would be called. He was upset, as if I should accept his tone, rages, whatever, because he is frustrated. Anyway, he went to work and all the guys got into a conversation about how their workplace frustrations were being taken out on the wives and GF's. OK I get their frustration, their jobs are difficult. But in no way shape or form am I going to pay the price for someone else's wrong doing. I am giving his another chance, again. But he knows from my past record that I give limited chances and if he does not stop his treatment of me the relationship will end. Men (women too) often think that in a committed relationship they do not have to be good to their spouse. Sometimes you have to give them a wake up call to let them know it is not ok and you can and will leave if you feel the need. I have seen many women live in misery just because it is difficult to make such a change. Why would you do that? So that you are not seen as selfish or intolerant? It is not selfish to want peace and happiness. Hopefully the stars will move soon! LOL. Wishing you peace.

Remember the saying " A son is yours till he takes a wife, a daughter is your for the rest of your life". Seems to be true for many, and it is an old saying so I suppose this has always been a problem in families. Never understood why women are so competitive, and when they fight the relationship ends, while men can fight and remain buddies.
While the saying is not so true with me, my daughter is estranged. My relationship with my son, though not estranged, is not great and I do feel it has to do with my DIL. I give up trying to rationalize any of it and just live my life with the freedom they have given me.