Quote from: BlueLotus on July 08, 2015, 11:38:12 AM
I feel as though she only wants a relationship with her ds only. She wants me around so he's around. I'd be okay with that if she wasn't bad-mouthing me to other family members. An example- I cook and clean, but sometimes dfh likes to bbq. That translates to him having to do all the cooking in her mind. She has told other family members things like this, and it is awkward having to explain myself to them. When I mention anything to my dfh, he says she doesn't mean any harm.
Guess I'm not really clear on what sort of advise you are looking for. Sometimes there is no solution and two people don't mix. My DIL and I have not seen one another for 5 years. My son comes to see us regularly and brings the kids. We see them for Thanksgiving while she goes to her FOO... and they are by us Christmas Eve and by her FOO Christmas Day.. It's a solution that works in our case... it makes both of us happy.. It makes my son happy too as he no longer feels he is in the middle. We are all relaxed when we are together and no one feels they have to watch every word or monitor for insults or innuendos, and can enjoy the visit. It may not be the solution for everyone, but in our case, after many years of discomfort.. it works just fine.