WiseWomenUnite.com

Problem Solving => Daughter in Laws and/or Son in Laws => Topic started by: sparky on July 07, 2012, 12:57:42 AM

Title: New Here
Post by: sparky on July 07, 2012, 12:57:42 AM
Hello, I am new here, I have been reading here for awhile but have not posted until now. I am 49 years old and mom to 7 daughters and 1 son, my oldest is 32  and my youngest is 6. I have 4 grandchildren. I have read a lot on here where it says you were a your own person before you had kids, you can be again, but I was 15 when I got pregnant with my first child so I really wasnt yet my own person, not really, I grew up with my kids. I wouldn't recommend doing it that way! I used to think it was a blessing to have 7 daughters, but if you ask me today I would say to much drama! I do have a very close relationship with all but 2 daughters.  I have 5 adult children, and 3 still at home. I found this website after having a falling out with my second to the oldest daughter who is 30. I hadn't seen her for a year because she lives out of state, she came to visit with her 2 children, her visit did not go well at all and we have not spoken since she left except for 2 emails.  I also am not close with my 22 year old daughter she is my 4th child, our relationship is almost non existant. She didnt call me on mothers day, I finally mentioned it to her a couple weeks ago and she said she doesnt have a mother daughter bond with me and so why would she call. That was very hurtful but did not surprise me. The 2 daughters have I am not close to are both very much a like in their personalities, very self centered and everything is always about them. When my father was in the hospital, we had just found out he had cancer, my daughter (22 yr old) stopped by to see him, said she could only stay 15 minutes because she was leaving on vacation, and walked out of the hospital room 15 min later to go on vacation. I was a mess, and she was going on vacation. Not sure how to do the abbreviations since I have sooo many daughters, maybe someone can help me with an idea for that LOL   I will get more into my story at a later time, I just wanted to introduce myself and start to join in here, you all are so supportive of each other and I would love to be a part of that  :)
Title: Re: New Here
Post by: pam1 on July 07, 2012, 01:33:23 AM
Welcome Sparky :)

Please take a moment to read the highlighted topics in the category Open Me First.  We ask all new members to do so in order to get a feel for WWU and how we came about.

Glad you found us!

How is your father doing?
Title: Re: New Here
Post by: Elise on July 07, 2012, 03:46:30 AM
Oh my gosh Sparky -7 daughters - talk about a sea of estrogen!!! There are so many wise women here - both moms and daughters, I am sure you will find tidbits to assist you on your journey. I am sorry the 2 daughters you mention are not close at this time.

I have learned some people just cannot handle hospitals, dementia,  nursing homes, etc. It can appear heartless, and may be something else. Not mine to judge. 
Title: Re: New Here
Post by: constantmargaret on July 07, 2012, 07:30:53 AM
I had a similar situation when my father was dying in the hospital. My daughter who lived with me (26) never once visited him with me, or on her own. She worked in a nursing home, but said she couldn't deal with it because it was Grampa.

After his death, I told her I was hurt, and she felt bad. When my mother was sick recently, she did better, but hasn't followed through on her promise to visit or to mow her lawn occasionally.

They grow up painfully slow.

Sometimes it feels like our adult children see us older folks as accessories to their lives to be taken out and worn when the occasion suits them, then stuffed back in, practically forgotten, until the next time. The occasion usually suits them on gift giving holidays.  ;)
Title: Re: New Here
Post by: Doe on July 07, 2012, 07:48:56 AM
Welcome Sparky!

I'm glad you found the time to get on the computer with everything that's going on in your life!
 
I also found that even adult children can't handle the ravages and problems of old age - heck, it's hard for us, too.  My MIL lived with us for 5 years,  mild dementia, and her OS didn't visit until she was dying.

Maybe you could do DD1, DD2, DD3, etc to help us sort them all out.

Again, welcome and looking forward to your stories!
Title: Re: New Here
Post by: luise.volta on July 07, 2012, 08:26:54 AM
S - Welcome! And you are already a part of this community the minute you carefully read the Forum Agreement and agree. :-) We are all working on similar issues and it seems to help. D - Great idea regarding numbering dear daughters!
Title: Re: New Here
Post by: luise.volta on July 08, 2012, 12:12:51 PM
S - Did you find it?
Title: Re: New Here
Post by: sparky on July 09, 2012, 08:57:20 AM
Quote from: luise.volta on July 08, 2012, 12:12:51 PM
S - Did you find it?

yes, I meant to put it in sons and daughters, i posted in the wrong scection so I couldnt find it, thank you :) 

Title: Re: New Here
Post by: sparky on July 09, 2012, 09:01:28 AM
Quote from: pam1 on July 07, 2012, 01:33:23 AM
Welcome Sparky :)

Please take a moment to read the highlighted topics in the category Open Me First.  We ask all new members to do so in order to get a feel for WWU and how we came about.

Glad you found us!

How is your father doing?

Thank you :)  I read the open me first when I joined. I am glad I found you all too!  I posted in the wrong section, I mean to post my first post in the daughters/son section.  My dad is doing really good! He has multiple myloma for 3 years now but is doing good.
Title: Re: New Here
Post by: luise.volta on July 09, 2012, 09:20:47 AM
The categories are there more for convenience than regimentation.  ;) Moderators move them sometimes to see that the thread get better exposure...but often our topics overlap. Sending love...
Title: Re: New Here
Post by: Footloose on July 09, 2012, 09:48:57 AM
Welcome Sparky!  Glad you are with us and have found our family of sisterhood:)

hugs!
Title: Re: New Here
Post by: herbalescapes on July 10, 2012, 09:07:07 AM
Seven daughters - isn't it obvious?  Happy, Sleepy, Bashful, Doc, Grumpy, Sneezy and Dopey!
Title: Re: New Here
Post by: Elise on July 10, 2012, 10:25:22 AM
Herbal    perfect - lol
Title: Re: New Here
Post by: Footloose on July 10, 2012, 11:59:29 AM
HAHAHA!@ 7 dwarfs:)  Sparkey, maybe u should...change your WWU name to Snow White?  LOL!
Title: Re: New Here
Post by: sparky on July 10, 2012, 06:41:13 PM
Quote from: Footloose on July 10, 2012, 11:59:29 AM
HAHAHA!@ 7 dwarfs:)  Sparkey, maybe u should...change your WWU name to Snow White?  LOL!

Thats funny!!
Title: Re: New Here
Post by: sparky on July 10, 2012, 06:42:07 PM
Quote from: Footloose on July 09, 2012, 09:48:57 AM
Welcome Sparky!  Glad you are with us and have found our family of sisterhood:)

hugs!

Thanks fl :)
Title: Re: New Here
Post by: sparky on July 10, 2012, 06:42:43 PM
Quote from: herbalescapes on July 10, 2012, 09:07:07 AM
Seven daughters - isn't it obvious?  Happy, Sleepy, Bashful, Doc, Grumpy, Sneezy and Dopey!

I am surprised I never thought of that hahah!
Title: Re: New Here
Post by: luise.volta on July 10, 2012, 06:51:29 PM
Seven Dwarfettes?
Title: Re: New Here
Post by: Pooh on July 11, 2012, 08:27:16 AM
Ha ha.  Welcome Sparky and hats off to you for raising 7 daughters!  Shewwwww
Title: Re: New Here
Post by: artlady on July 11, 2012, 10:32:39 AM
You are awesome raising 7 daughters , all the hormones in one house wow I'm amazed. 
Title: Re: New Here
Post by: Footloose on July 11, 2012, 10:47:27 AM
We had  5 women in or family home and my dad used to joke that he should buy stock in feminine hygiene products!  LOL!  May have been a good investment....
Title: Re: New Here
Post by: sparky on July 11, 2012, 11:32:11 AM
Quote from: Footloose on July 11, 2012, 10:47:27 AM
We had  5 women in or family home and my dad used to joke that he should buy stock in feminine hygiene products!  LOL!  May have been a good investment....

thats for sure!! LOL
Title: Re: New Here
Post by: JaneF on July 27, 2012, 03:36:31 PM
Welcome Sparky!  All I can think to say is I am sure glad I only had one daughter...could never handle more of her! Glad you are here.  J