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Problem Solving => Daughter in Laws and/or Son in Laws => Topic started by: 2chickiebaby on November 07, 2009, 07:38:26 AM

Title: From an MIL hate site
Post by: 2chickiebaby on November 07, 2009, 07:38:26 AM
I'm paraphrasing here so here goes:

The young woman says that her MIL complained to both her DH and her that that photographer must not have known who they were at the wedding because there were hardly any pictures of them.

DIL's husband says to his wife on the way home: "she's trying to make our wedding all about her"

DIL says to the hate site: "I'm letting him draw his own conclusions about his Mother"

The Responder/Poster says: "it's best that we allow our DH's to come to their own conclusions about their Mother than for us to push it"

_________________________________________________________________

Well, that's just great, isn't it? 
Title: Re: From an MIL hate site
Post by: just2baccepted on November 07, 2009, 10:13:01 AM
Yes I agree that some of the girls on these sites can be very angry and disrepectful and sometimes its hard to figure out which ones hate their MIL just because or that they really are having real trouble with their IL's.  The ones I can pick out that are genuine I've tried to email some of them, that is the DIL's that seem to have similair IL's to mine, so yes I do see what you're saying though about those sites.  A matter fact maybe its just torturing yourself if you go to some of those sites because they can be brutal.
Title: Re: From an MIL hate site
Post by: kitty_mommy on November 26, 2009, 06:49:09 PM
I know what you mean. In My Opinion, if you have an unpopular point of view, you either get kicked off their site or posters bully you no matter what you post, for weeks and even months sometimes, seems like especially if they find out you're a Christian. Who needs them? There are other sites out there, including this one.

I never donated any money to their site to help them pay for their expenses, but I might donate to this one. Where do I do that?

Title: Re: From an MIL hate site
Post by: 2chickiebaby on November 26, 2009, 07:01:51 PM
Hi Kitty_Mommy,
Luise Volta so kindly made this site for us.  She has a site called: momsresponds.com, where you can donate if you choose. I know she would appreciate it.

You're right about the MIL hates sites; they are abundant and filled with all the hate they can muster.  They do hound you and make you feel horrible when they find out you're not like them and especially if you're an MIL. They go into high gear when then.  It's high time we had a place to call home here.

Glad to have you..........  :)

Title: Re: From an MIL hate site
Post by: 2chickiebaby on December 02, 2009, 12:00:22 PM
Yes, there is a lot of hatred and sometimes it's impossible to deal with if you're human! 
Title: Re: From an MIL hate site
Post by: 2chickiebaby on December 02, 2009, 12:03:15 PM
Do you want to tell us your story? 
Title: Re: From an MIL hate site
Post by: 2chickiebaby on December 02, 2009, 12:20:25 PM
Anna, I think I have this figured out!!!  DUH!!  They wanted our son!!!  :)  I am so schmart, huh?  After 16 years of grieving,  I FINALLY GET IT!!!
Title: Re: From an MIL hate site
Post by: 2chickiebaby on December 02, 2009, 12:26:45 PM
I think since we didn't know we could have PPD or PDD or PMD or whatever it is, we just  didn't have it!!  We had a baby instead and tried to behave like a  normal person.  8)
Title: Re: From an MIL hate site
Post by: mom2 on December 02, 2009, 07:56:27 PM
I think she had poor trusting me hood-winked the whole time.

Anna,
I had a great relationship with my future dil or so I thought. When she married my son and had children it all changed.. maybe it didn't change.. maybe she was that type of person all along and had me fooled ( I think that's it ).
Title: Re: From an MIL hate site
Post by: mom2 on December 02, 2009, 08:06:52 PM
Victim,

Glad you could join us ! we are all in the same boat here.

                                                                                    Good luck and Blessings
Title: Re: From an MIL hate site
Post by: just2baccepted on December 05, 2009, 12:04:28 PM
Quote from: Anna on December 05, 2009, 05:17:07 AM
I honestly don't know how some of these dils can be the way they are, so untrusting, so hurtful, so filled with hate.  It seems like a very sad way to live a life.  I wonder what will happen to their children.  Will they grow up full of hate because that's what they've seen all their lives?  I don't deserve dils treatment of me, & I know there are dils who don't deserve their mils treatment of them.  I wish we could all just get along.  I love my son, & grandchildren, & believe me I did love my dil, till she "changed", (or was she that way all along?).  Now, with all the hurt caused by her, it will be a long time before my heart heals, a long time before I'm so trusting.  I wish it didn't have to be this way, wish we could have the relationship I "thought" we had in the beginning.  I wonder if we will ever have a good relationship again.  I would truly like it if we could.

Well my thinking is to not give up because anything is possible.  I use prayer to help me.  I'm not giving up that maybe my IL's might change, although they're both in their mid to late sixties I guess its doubtful.  But b/c of my faith I think God can do anything.  I try to look at what I'm doing wrong and am willing to change anything I might be doing wrong.  OF course its a two way street and if the other party can't see how they're negatively contributing then things will most likely never change.
Title: Re: From an MIL hate site
Post by: 2chickiebaby on December 05, 2009, 04:53:01 PM
Dear J2b,

I just don't understand why your inlaws would exclude you and not get down on their knees and thank God they have you as a member of their family.  If ever there was a kind woman, you're it. 

There is something wrong with them.  Have you ever written them a letter?  I assume you have but just in case, have you?  I know that one time, after distant DIL threw her fit here, I guess son asked her to write us a letter, which she did.  She explained that she was 'hormonal' at the time and of course, I accepted her apology on the spot. (I would have anyway.)

Not knowing that you could be 'hormonal', I was shocked that you could behave like that and get away with it.  If I had acted like that, I would have found myself in another county and not known how I got there. (when I was living at my Grandparents growing up)

So, I was never 'hormonal'.  I'm kind of mad now because I should have used my hormones when I had them to misbehave in the past!




Title: Re: From an MIL hate site
Post by: just2baccepted on December 06, 2009, 11:46:19 AM
No I haven't written a letter.  This may sound bad but I think I've gotton to the point where I just don't care anymore.
Title: Re: From an MIL hate site
Post by: 2chickiebaby on December 06, 2009, 12:48:07 PM
Gosh, you got that counseling quick, didn't you?  Yep, I think that's where you should go......they can help you.
Title: Re: From an MIL hate site
Post by: 2chickiebaby on December 06, 2009, 01:12:33 PM
Speak to your Mother in law about your problems.....she'll help.
Title: Re: From an MIL hate site
Post by: 2chickiebaby on December 06, 2009, 01:18:11 PM
Yes, you may report me to the administrators.
Title: Re: From an MIL hate site
Post by: AnnieB on December 06, 2009, 02:45:08 PM
Quote from: 2chickiebaby on December 06, 2009, 01:18:11 PM
Yes, you may report me to the administrators.

What the heck?
Title: Re: From an MIL hate site
Post by: cremebrulee on December 07, 2009, 09:52:50 AM
Here's one for ya....I couldn't believe this woman, and felt so sorry for the man who was going to marry her...

OK, I was browsing a DIL's I hate my MIL site...a young woman who was just about to get married says....I hate my FMIL...she and her husband refused to pay for the alchol at my wedding...and once we're married she'll never ever see her son again, or her grand children....??????   >:(  I mean, can you believe the hate that she projected...she was swearing and very adamit about this...the only thing I could think of was..."man, that poor poor person she is about to marry, is he ever in for it.

What a spoiled hateful immature person...and they are out there...I never ever realized this until it happened to me....

Creme
Title: Re: From an MIL hate site
Post by: 2chickiebaby on December 07, 2009, 10:04:50 AM
Dear Cremebrulee,
I am constantly trying to keep from looking at what they are saying.  I am like a moth to a flame...I can't believe the things they say about his Mother! They are encouraged to do it too.

These sites are making money with advertisers and it's all to tell his Mother off!  It is insulting and yes, the poor guy who marries this spoiled brat is in for it.  They usually try to persuade their DH's in a more subtle way but many of them do it.

I know there are wonderful DILs out there.  Some of them are on this board and I love them, even though I don't know them.  They wouldn't be here if they weren't trying to understand. 
Title: Re: From an MIL hate site
Post by: Aisling on December 07, 2009, 10:40:35 AM
cremebrulee, that's a horrible story. :( I wonder where the DIL-to-be even got the idea that it was her ILs "job" to pay for these things?  Unless they offered to previously, or demanded it be served (both things I've seen happen, unfortunately), the bride-to-be should shut up and learn how to budget (something I've not seen happen often enough).
Title: Re: From an MIL hate site
Post by: cremebrulee on December 23, 2009, 05:27:01 PM
She just assumed that it was they're job to pay for the drinks, and also the wedding party dinner....

You should have heard her words...so hateful and full of vengence...can you imagine being married to her????  Sheesh, that poor man...who is probably by now married to her....

Ugly person....