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General Category => Grab Bag => Topic started by: luise.volta on June 02, 2012, 03:12:53 PM

Title: "Letters we would love to send, but won't"
Post by: luise.volta on June 02, 2012, 03:12:53 PM
This is the place! We get to say it how it is here and it will go no further... Sending love...
Title: Re: "Letters we would love to send, but won't"
Post by: Ruth on June 02, 2012, 04:32:32 PM
this is going to be one of the best threads ever.
Title: Re: "Letters we would love to send, but won't"
Post by: luise.volta on June 02, 2012, 05:17:26 PM
We get to thank Lilly...it was her brainstorm!
Title: Re: "Letters we would love to send, but won't"
Post by: Lillycache on June 02, 2012, 05:24:24 PM
I would love to take the credit, but Doe thought of it first.  She gets the kudos for this!
Title: Re: "Letters we would love to send, but won't"
Post by: luise.volta on June 02, 2012, 05:48:55 PM
Oops! Sorry, D - thanks!
Title: Re: "Letters we would love to send, but won't"
Post by: firelight on June 03, 2012, 05:16:01 PM
I think this topic is a great idea since we've seen moms post their heartfelt letters before under another category.

However, I don't think I'm ready to do that yet since I'd probably start feeling badly again.  But maybe sometime.....

I'll be looking forward to reading them from others for now.  I know this will be a great release....
Title: Re: "Letters we would love to send, but won't"
Post by: luise.volta on June 03, 2012, 05:44:30 PM
Only do it if it would help. Sending love...
Title: Re: "Letters we would love to send, but won't"
Post by: Keys Girl on June 14, 2012, 07:58:17 PM
I've been watching one of the Shriver sons talk about his father and his book in the last week and he mentioned that his father constantly sent him letters almost every day of his life......with love and encouragement.

I've been thinking that I'll start writing a letter or two (not emails) to leave for my son after I'm gone.  I have scads of happy photos of him, many with me from the first days of his life until the last few years and I think I will including the letters.

It may be that when I leave the planet, he won't feel a thing, that he resentment and hostility will have eaten away any positive memories and he'll just junk everything.......however, if he has any trace of regret, it will be too late for him to reach me, but I could still reach out to him and leave him some letters about what I hope he does with his life, his children, his memories of me and leave him with a few less regrets and perhaps a word or phrase that will prove to be a star to steer by.

KG
Title: Re: "Letters we would love to send, but won't"
Post by: herbalescapes on June 15, 2012, 06:00:42 AM
KG - that's a great way to ensure you get the last word in!
Title: Re: "Letters we would love to send, but won't"
Post by: Pooh on June 15, 2012, 07:53:43 AM
I think that's a great idea KG.  I think I will do that too and hopefully, if he ever reads them, he will always know he was loved, no matter what and I wanted the best for him.
Title: Re: "Letters we would love to send, but won't"
Post by: Keys Girl on June 15, 2012, 09:45:36 AM
Quote from: herbalescapes on June 15, 2012, 06:00:42 AM
KG - that's a great way to ensure you get the last word in!

I don't know that the last word is important, I have no way of know that he won't throw everything except money into a firepit, but if my any chance some of the love and affection and the values that I taught him early in his life still have some impact on is life, he may read them.  I have an image of him weeping over a box of the photos, notes, cards and letters that I kept that he sent me, once I've left the planet.  I know so many people who wished they could have made amends or at least had some kind of relationship with their parents once they were gone.

If I leave him something that might have a positive impact, I'm hoping it might become the last piece of the puzzle of our relationship and if it doesn't turn around in my lifetime, maybe it will afterwards.

KG
Title: Re: "Letters we would love to send, but won't"
Post by: Footloose on June 15, 2012, 02:28:10 PM
Sorry for the repeat but heck, it goes on this thread?
------------------------------------------------------
DS Name, my only child, my son,

I put you first from the day u were born until the day you left, over 20 years from the time I learned of you and later felt u move inside me.  It was the very best thing that EVER happened in my life and I so enjoyed being your mom and dad.  It was like breathing to me.  So automatic, natural and expected.

I was too young and should have probably waited, chose a better father for sure but you found your time to be born and fate chose your heritage.  I have no regrets because out of it all came you, my son.  I put my life on hold for you for 20 years, all of my early adulthood was yours and yours alone.

My generation has raised a group of self absorbed emotionally very immature now 'adults'.  Apparently we have loved not wisely but too well in some ways.
I evidently have NOT met your expectations either and for that I am sorry.   

So now after being rejected by you, it has taken my spiritual breath away but I will get better in time.  I'll just keep moving at a harried pace to out run the pain and loss this whole thing has created for me.  When it does catch up with me, like today, i find it so hard just to bear the pain.  the loss that was intentional on your part.  Worse than death because the separations were and have been on purpose.  Maybe to punish me for imperfections and pure, good intentions?

After years of mistreatment from you, I must let you go because the pain of rejection and absence is too great!  Way worse than my illness and anything that came before it.  I never imagined this would happen...again?!

I WILL meet you in spirit, always in my heart but your threats and actions to put me out of your life have controlled me far too long.  I have to move on or die from this broken heart.  Seems like I have been held hostage, waiting for a chance to really connect with you and your beautiful family.  So so very sad that family does not include me anymore.

Kiss my grandsons for me and hold them a long time, as long as you can.  I miss them dearly! I will hold onto my fond memories of them and you forever.  I already know I will be excluded from baby girl's birth announcements in June and seeing her sweet, brand new, little face.

I will NEVER end my love for you.  I loved u from the very start and that will remain.  You can stop punishing me as I am gone but know I am there, inside you forever.
Title: Re: "Letters we would love to send, but won't"
Post by: constantmargaret on June 15, 2012, 02:51:58 PM
Dear Son,

Go pound sand.

Love,
Mom
Title: Re: "Letters we would love to send, but won't"
Post by: Elise on June 15, 2012, 03:16:32 PM
Oh Margaret - I needed to laugh
Oh Footloose - the tears were just not stopping until I veered to laughter, Margaret stood in for your normally everpresent dose of humor.
Your last line, last words of the letter - maybe are a key for me and others. We are in their heads and they have chosen ways and means so contrary to what we taught them they cannot stand to see us, as our very physical beings or even voices require them to engage with what they can try to put away and never can - we are there in their minds and hearts forever, nothing changes that.  My mother used to say ' From your cradle to my grave(and beyond depending on belief system)" referring to her love for her children.

Maybe, no not maybe, for sure, it applies to almost all our dc - I should have told him from a young age a variation - "I am in your heart and spirit forever - nothing you can do changes that, ever, so if there comes a time you think you can change that in yourself, look much more closely and deeply and keep it right between us (and here's my mom again) "so that it may go well with thee."  Boy, guess my mom is sitting on my shoulder right now!!
Title: Re: "Letters we would love to send, but won't"
Post by: Footloose on June 15, 2012, 03:27:58 PM
 :D
Cmarge!  LOL!!

Dear Son,
Greetings from sunny Belize!

Because you cut me off with the time out, I have more money than I thought.  Guess me buying stuff for you and your family every other month really took a hit on the ol budget?! 

Just wanted to say thanks for the time out as it really has made me liquid again in the financial dept.

P.S.  i hope you learned from me on planning for retirement as you will need to do this as well.  I plan to croak broke!  ya can't take it with ya!

Cheers!
xMom
 
Title: Re: "Letters we would love to send, but won't"
Post by: Keys Girl on June 15, 2012, 04:08:23 PM
Quote from: constantmargaret on June 15, 2012, 02:51:58 PM
Dear Son,

Go pound sand.

Love,
Mom

Margaret, I can't stop laughing, the tears are rolling down my cheeks!!
Thank you so much, KG
Title: Re: "Letters we would love to send, but won't"
Post by: Beth 2011 on June 15, 2012, 06:58:13 PM
constantmargaret!!!

I laughed so loud my cats jumped!  ;D ;D  I love it!  I am so over the sappy stage...  This hit the nail on the head for me!  I haven't even read the other page.  Thanks for making me smile and laugh today.
Title: Re: "Letters we would love to send, but won't"
Post by: Pooh on June 18, 2012, 06:48:50 AM
Ha Ha Ha Margaret!!!!!!  I'm still laughing!
Title: Re: "Letters we would love to send, but won't"
Post by: luise.volta on June 18, 2012, 10:37:48 AM
Oh, I love these!

Dear Son,

Someone just asked me if I had any children and I was able to say, "No." It was so freeing. Thanks a bunch! :-)

Love,

What's-her-name
Title: Re: "Letters we would love to send, but won't"
Post by: Pooh on June 18, 2012, 01:48:17 PM
Dear Son,

The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.


Love,

Mom
Title: Re: "Letters we would love to send, but won't"
Post by: Beth 2011 on June 18, 2012, 04:50:05 PM
Dear Son,

Good luck and God bless, we have moved and there is no forwarding address. 

Love,
Mom
Title: Re: "Letters we would love to send, but won't"
Post by: orphanedmominmn on June 18, 2012, 05:09:51 PM
Haven't posted in a long time --- read a lot == any way, these are great!!!!
Title: Re: "Letters we would love to send, but won't"
Post by: luise.volta on June 19, 2012, 09:55:36 AM
Good to see you, O. Write one for us if you're in the mood!  :)
Title: Re: "Letters we would love to send, but won't"
Post by: Lillycache on June 20, 2012, 04:43:49 AM
Dear Son:

Please be advised that YOU are no longer my Agent in my POAs for either healthcare or finances. You are also no longer alternate Executor of my Will.   Let your wife know that any jollys she was anticipating in picking my nursing home will have to be reserved for her own mother.  Please destroy your copies.  You will be contacted IF any assets remain after the settlement of my final expenses.

Love
Mom
Title: Re: "Letters we would love to send, but won't"
Post by: Pooh on June 20, 2012, 05:23:21 AM
Ha! Love it!
Title: Re: "Letters we would love to send, but won't"
Post by: Lillycache on June 20, 2012, 07:03:44 AM
Dear Volunteer sitting right in front of me this very moment talking to the Unit Secretary:

I'm sure it must be a real trial to keep your Granddaughter this entire week.  It must be so hard to keep up with her and to make her follow your instructions and to take her to the library to keep up with her reading.  How nice to be the mother of two daughters that let you keep their children for little vacations with grandma.  Do you realize that you are sitting her in front of a grandma who will NEVER get that opportunity?  I really feel so sorry for you!   How hard it must be!  I really don't feel like listening to your problems right now.  Some of us would kill to have your problem.

Love
The grandma behind you.
(packing up and moving to another nursing unit so I don't have to hear it)
Title: Re: "Letters we would love to send, but won't"
Post by: Lillycache on June 20, 2012, 08:02:18 AM
Actually, the above falls into a sub catagory of "letters we would like to send"   that being "things we would like to say when we are crabby and not in the mood" but won't   lol!!
Title: Re: "Letters we would love to send, but won't"
Post by: luise.volta on June 20, 2012, 09:15:22 AM
Yup...the 'best left unsaid' but not left unwritten or unshared!

Dear Doc,

I you speak to me that way one more time...patiently but condescendingly...(close to smiling and patting me on the head,) when I ask about a supplement that might help me...I am going to bite you. That might be the best supplement of all!

Always yours (unfortunately), Invisible

Title: Re: "Letters we would love to send, but won't"
Post by: Pooh on June 20, 2012, 12:34:36 PM
Dear Skank,

Just a note to let you know that I was very angry for many months over your affair with my Ex.  I now want to say thank you.

Love,

Happily remarried to a real man

P.S.

If you hurt my child again, I will come thank you in person.
Title: Re: "Letters we would love to send, but won't"
Post by: pam1 on June 20, 2012, 12:46:16 PM
Dear MIL,

Thank you on the child-rearing tips however, I will not be using them.  I have the pleasure of living with one of your off-spring and see that there is much improvement to do!

Love,
Pam

***disclaimer, I heard this somewhere so I can't take credit for it!
Title: Re: "Letters we would love to send, but won't"
Post by: luise.volta on June 20, 2012, 12:49:25 PM
Love these! :D :D :D
Title: Re: "Letters we would love to send, but won't"
Post by: herbalescapes on June 20, 2012, 06:08:55 PM
I know this isn't exactly what's expected here, but what the hey!

Dear Local School Board,

Would it kill you to remember that just because all of you make the 6- and 7-figure incomes that not everyone does?  In an ideal world we would have unlimited funds not just for education, but housing, food, medicine, etc.  It is not an ideal world, however, and it would be a nice if you could remember that many people - even in so-called affluent areas - are struggling to make ends meet.  It's nice to want to give the students the best there is, but remember, just because you can plug it in doesn't mean it's the best.  I believe Galileo learned to read and went on to discovery gravity without an ipad.  I imagine our students can learn to read with old-fashioned paper and ink books. 

It is important for the students to get exercise, but no school needs a pool.  The high school football field doesn't need to give the local NFL team's stadium a run for its money.  The best exercise for everyone is walking.  Don't need anything special for that.  All the bells and whistles don't hide the fact that gym class - excuse me, PE - hasn't changed much over the decades.  Kids are still embarassed to change clothes in the locker room.  The athletic kids dominate the chosen activity and the not-so-athletic kids do their best to not be noticed. 

Teachers deserve fair recompense, no doubt.  But if the teachers are the frontline soldiers in giving our kids a good education, why are administrators so much better paid?  Have you even noticed that an increase in counselors and vice principals and specialists hasn't correlated into better education?  Put the money where it really counts. 

One of the best lessons our children can learn is to live within one's means. Try to teach by example to make due with what you have.  "Keeping up with the Joneses" isn't  a good school motto.  I don't mind paying my taxes to support education.  I do, however, object to paying taxes to support your egos. 

Sincerely,
A Local Constituent
Title: Re: "Letters we would love to send, but won't"
Post by: luise.volta on June 20, 2012, 07:37:11 PM
  :D :D :D
Title: Re: "Letters we would love to send, but won't"
Post by: luise.volta on June 20, 2012, 07:43:17 PM
Having second thoughts. OK? We need to back up...as much fun as this has been! As soon as we start to get political, we are going to step on toes and these letters could take on the flavor of a debate. So, it's back to 'dear relative.' Thanks for understanding. Sending love (and still laughing.)
Title: Re: "Letters we would love to send, but won't"
Post by: Elise on June 20, 2012, 07:45:56 PM
Good point Louise - back to our families.
Title: Re: "Letters we would love to send, but won't"
Post by: Pen on June 21, 2012, 07:09:32 AM
Dear SM & DF,

It's been great not engaging w/you. I am so much happier when I spend time w/people who love & appreciate me rather than those who put me down, reject me and treat me as "less than."

No, I don't want to spend a fortune/all my vacation time coming to see you. Yes, I'm smart enough to pick up on the sarcastic little comments you make. No, I'm not going to bring them up or dwell on them because frankly I don't care anymore.

Pen
Title: Re: "Letters we would love to send, but won't"
Post by: luise.volta on June 21, 2012, 08:09:19 AM
Amen!
Title: Re: "Letters we would love to send, but won't"
Post by: Lillycache on June 21, 2012, 10:02:08 AM


Dear Dad,

Why?

Love
Your Daughter
Title: Re: "Letters we would love to send, but won't"
Post by: Beth 2011 on June 22, 2012, 08:38:49 AM
Dear Son,

If you try find us because you need somewhere stay, I forgot mention that we are moving into a 2 bedroom home and the vacancy sign has been turned off permanently.  You might want to try moving in with some of your new friends or new family members you have become so fond of in the last 3 years.

Love,
Mommy Dearest
Title: Re: "Letters we would love to send, but won't"
Post by: pam1 on June 22, 2012, 04:48:26 PM
LOL at "Mommy Dearest," Beth!!!  Too funny
Title: Re: "Letters we would love to send, but won't"
Post by: Doe on June 23, 2012, 11:12:04 AM
I should have been reading this thread earlier - these are priceless! 
Title: Re: "Letters we would love to send, but won't"
Post by: Footloose on June 23, 2012, 01:53:10 PM
Dearest son,
I can say that because you're an only child. Just letting U know that if u ever need a place to stay with your dear bride and 4 kids under 6, I have ya covered, precious snowflake!

I saved all our camp gear from when we were in scouts and I was ur den mother. All those years bring back fond memories!  It was fun being your Dad too!  So you are in luck because I saved the tents too.  U and wifey can have ur own and the litter can stay in the others!  And a state park w/ camping is close to your office.  Since you have gotten to the point where u trust no one with your kids, to include pediatricians and public school, no need to worry Bout schools because Your perfect spouse is home schoolling. You both know everything about everything due to the wonderful world wide web.

Oh, gotta run! We are leaving on another vacation.  Thanks for letting us spend on us! Cheers!
Title: Re: "Letters we would love to send, but won't"
Post by: Lillycache on July 13, 2012, 04:56:20 PM
Dear Son:

It has just come to my attention that you bought your FIL a TV for a combination Christmas/Birthday/retirement present..   AND that you spend $100 a month on Comic books!  Yet for me?  No Christmas card or present... no Birthday card or present... no Mother's day card or present.   It pains me to know that I've raised such a selfish inconsiderate person.   Yes... go ahead and think me a materialistic pathetic fool... but it hurts.  Your discounting of me as a non-person with non-feelings hurts!    I am disgusted with you too.

Mom
Title: Re: "Letters we would love to send, but won't"
Post by: firelight on July 16, 2012, 02:37:58 PM
Well girls, my letter may come yet!  I have thoroughly enjoyed the letters here and had almost forgotten about the topic!  What a release I see.  I have giggled much through these and I know some were a little more serious.  Loved them all!  This topic was a grand idea.   ;)
Title: Re: "Letters we would love to send, but won't"
Post by: BoxofChocolates on August 21, 2012, 08:14:29 AM
Hey kids....

Yes, I'm still around and kicking up my heals with freedom! Oh...forgot to tell you I am spending ALL of the inheritance you expected so you may want to wash some dishes for a little extra.

We changed our phone number, unlisted, and also our address, unknown.

Keep up the good work of being selfish and ungrateful snots.  I'm enjoying my quiet and a clean house....and with two little Yorkies that know more than you do. Now it's your turn for the reality check.

All done 'in love' as you say?

Used to be your Mom.