Something you said, Luise, struck a cord with me. DIL most likely never thought about the inlaws when she married my son.
I wanted a family so badly when I married that I wanted a good relationship with my MIL and family. I guess since DIL has a family, she wanted her own little nest.
I guess that's the answer. They must feel like they have to do battle with us at the beginning. No battle was ever necessary but I guess she thought there was.
Well, Anna got me to thinking back. It's an entirely different take, isn't it? Lots to think about and work through.