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My husband told me tonite my DS had gone to where my husband works, saw him, hugged him and then told my husband he misses us.  Wow.  Since we were not able to get together last Friday as planned because he and my grandaughters were ill, we have rescheduled to meet this Saturday afternoon.  I plan to take my grandaughter out for her to choose a birthday gift since she turned 6 on Valentines Day.  Of course my DIL once again did not invite us to her birthday party...such is life.  My DS admitted she has issues and that he doesn't understand why she behaves the way she does.  Not my problem.  I guess he has finally decided though to have a relationship with his FOO no matter what DIL says.  It was HIS choice to call us and renew a relationship, so she cannot say I am at fault...but she will be mad I bet.  Oh well, life goes on.  I just hope he is prepared for her to give him fits about this, but he says he wants to spend time with his family, he misses us!  I am so looking forward to Saturday!  Then Sunday I have to attend a different grandsons birthday party!  lol  This situation has improved so now I wish the situation with DD could miraculously change!  lol  Well, off I go to prepare for work now.  Busy, busy.  Thank you for allowing me to rant again!   J

Good grief, will my DD ever get stable?  She called after not speaking to us since October when she married the drug dealing, addict felon she met in rehab.  She apparently left him again (for the 2nd time sime marrying Oct 13), and told me he was still not treating my grandsons well.  No kidding...she knew that before she married him.  So once again the older grandson was jerked out of school after only being in THAT one less than 6 weeks, and will go tomorrow to another one.  I am angry that she continues to do this to him.  She wanted to know her court date for her recent assault charge.  She admitted she had assaulted a fella where she lives, said he was a child molester!  I am thinking I may have to make another call to child protective services about her instability.  She would not tell me who she was with or where she was, but it is in a different county than she has been living in.  This child was moved at least 6 times during the school year last year, and this year he has been in school where I live, where she WAS living, homeschooled, and then back to school where she lived and now will go to another one tomorrow.  She is ruining those boys lives.  I don't need any legal advice or suggestions, I already know I need to make several calls tomorrow to try to get the boys some help.  I just basically needed to blab to some listening and supportive ears!  I am doing fine, just really tired of my DD not getting correct medical care for her bipolar disorder, and also her abusing prescription drugs...not to mention the things my poor grandsons have to go through.  Wish me luck with the phone calls I need to make!  Blessings to all of you wonderful and wise women.  J

Oh the drama continues in my daughters life.  She was to appear for arraignment for assault charge the 8th of February.  She didn't appear, so a warrant issued for her.  She was picked up, and there is a $1000 cash only bond, which she or her felon husband can't come up with.  I worry because she will sit there until they set a new court date, and her husband has my two young grandsons.  He doesn't treat them fairly, and now with my daughter locked up I fear he may be harder on them.  I am over 3 hours away though and legally cannot just go take them from him.  Good grief, that girl will never get it together!  But at least she can't abuse the prescription drugs for a short time, so maybe in the long run she will go get help.  I refuse to step in and rescue her, I am so glad I finally am in a place where I am taking care of me, and refusing to put up with their drama!  Also update on son coming today and bringing grandaughters to visit...I texted with son this morning and the entire family is sick.  Glad he chose to make it another day since I really do not want the sickness to spread up here!  He ended text by saying he loves me though....wow, some things never cease to amaze me. lol  My grandaughter I am raising has asthma, so it isn't good for her to get flu junk obviously, we will meet another day.  Hope you all have a great weekend!

In case some have not been reading my post about my young grandaughter being pregnant I decided to post an update on the situation with my DS and his cutting us out of his life a year and a half ago.  He called yesterday and said Momma, I apologise for being mean and saying the things I did, and I was wrong.  As I said in my other post, I thought I was surely dreaming!  We had a GREAT conversation and he thanked me for doing things the way I had because he learned finally that he can be proud of his accomplishments because I did not HAND him everything, he has earned them!  I am glad that he learned what I was trying to teach him...now that's the boy I raised!  He plans to continue a relationship with us now, and he said he does not understand why his wife wants only her family involved and why everything has always had to be her way or no way, but he is changing some things!  He plans to stay with her, but I am thinking due to sad issue with my young grandaughters pregnancy, and other things counseling will be the next step for them...good.  He plans to come to my house next Friday and bring my grandaughters!  He said his wife can come, or she can stay home.  He said he loved us and appreciated all me and my husband have done, and said he knows he has made many mistakes and bad choices and he's learned from that.  Thanks all of you here for allowing me to blab on!  I'm keeping my fingers crossed that things will now improve even past my wildest dreams.  I plan to go pick up a few Valentines goodies for my grandaughters visit next Friday!  I have not seen them for a year and a half, and I have missed them terribly.  I guess it goes to show one can never tell what can happen!  Thanks Luise for this website, I think it has helped keep me fairly sane through this ordeal.  Thanks ladies for the posts and sharing which I feel have helped me to learn to take care of ME, and to learn to detach and look at things in a much different way.  All I can think to say is WOW!!!   lol   Have a most joyous day ladies.   J

Wow is all I can think right now.  I don't need advice on this deal, and basically I just wanted to share the news.  What a tragedy.  I sort of blame my son and DIL for a lot of this.  The DIL absolutely had a fit if my son tried to discipline my grandaughter, and my son did not have the "backbone" (not the word I thought of first...sorry  ) to stand up to her and disagree with her. But then the behaviors she has been exhibiting are "normal" for my DIL's family!  Such as dressing in skimpy clothes, inappropriate discussions on Facebook, looking 17 years old with a ton of make-up at 12 years old, and worst of all, allowed boyfriends in the age group of 15 at the age of 11 and 12!!!  Who does this?  But alas, I cannot offer any support since I have been cut off for over a year and a half.  We'll see if he call now.  It's a terrible shame.  But the real shocker in this is finding out from a phone call that the news broke on Facebook of all places!  Good grief.  My DIL's MOTHER and younger sister were discussing this with my grandaughter on there...unreal!!!  These folks have no brains at all is what I think.  This is not a crisis for me, and I am dealing with the news quite well.  I am not the one that will have to raise this child because the mother is still a child!  I am no longer in their drama filled world, and even if my son calls I will refuse to be drawn into it again.  Let DIL's family handle it ALL...she only wanted her family in their lives...YOU GOT IT LADY!  Just thanks to all of you wise ladies here for letting me vent.  I am quite okay, as I have learned to detach...

Well, I knew in my heart it was a strong possibliity that my daughter would find legal troubles at some point.  She has had minor legal deals like rental evictions and lawsuits for the costs of those (she never has paid those judgements), and doing the title loan thing on cars and having difficulty paying those and keeping cars etc.  Family services took my grandson this past several months and I had to drive a total of 6 hours to go get him, then they returned him to her.  So...apparently she was busted a few days ago for assault.  I do not have details because she did not contact me at all, I found out via other avenues.  I do not know if there was a bond, or where were young grandsons were during this episode.  I don't know who was apparently assaulted either, just that she has court appearance first week of February.  She is bipolar and has obvious mood swings, but she also abuses mostly prescription drugs, but uses some street drugs too.  I also hear through a very reliable source that her "felon husband" had to call an ambulance for her in the recent past month or so because of a seizure thing.  She has no history of seizures, and so I am concerned it may be due to health issue such as drug misuse, or even a physical health problem perhaps.  She refuses to speak to me still because she is angry at me for not approving of her recent marriage to the repeat felon she met in drug rehab, and who she has said does not treat my grandsons well, and who is also abusing prescribed meds (mostly pain narcotics).  Well, so sorry but she is so very unstable because she either abuses her meds or street drugs, and her bipolar disorder is pretty much uncontrolled, and so severe she has been on disability for several years now.  Maybe this is a mean thought, but I am hoping this legal issue might force her to either go to court ordered counseling, or drug rehab again etc...but who knows?  I am wondering what some of your thoughts are on me possibly speaking to the prosector about issues with my daughter that may help with this legal ordeal (not help her out of it, but help them realize she may be a danger to herself and others due to her violent reactions at times, and maybe get her to have to be supervised by probation or something?)  She still is living over 3 hours away so I do not see my grandsons now, and since they are angry at me they withold even phone contact with the children.  She does call or text her daughter that I am raising occaisionally, but ignores her call or texts majority of the time. This is upsetting to this child of course.  Thanks for allowing me to vent once again.  I am feeling okay lately, I am at peace with the situation since I cannot control those issues, and I refuse to let them control me!  I just take one day at a time!  I just needed some thoughts on whether I should try to contact the folks I mentioned earlier in my post to give them info on my daughter so maybe she can be provided with therapeutic help, or if I should not do so.  The reason I ask is because I would also want them to know if need be I can and will take my grandsons instead of them going to foster care if she goes to rehab, or gets a few days jail time!  I don't relish the thought of the drug abusing felon having them by himself at all!  Thanks in advance ladies, and blessings to you all.

My 28 year old daughter and her live in 38 year old boyfriend she met in drug rehab are mad at me. She called her aunt a few days ago crying and upset because boyfriend grabbed her 2 year old son by both arms and was forcing him physically to pick up toys and he was crying. While on phone he kept following her around to listen to conversation, but refused to "let" her help the child pick up toys. I immediately called their house, as they live 3 hours away and i was concerned (only because SHE called). Long story short, they denied the incident all together, denied the content of the phone call to naunt, and i never got to speak to daughter, only boyfriend. He then sent me continual text messages during the night, and I told him to stop contacting me. Daughter has cried wolf so many times I can't count. They told me I NEVER help them anyway and they are angry because I took a car back that she was going to buy from me. I took it back because they were not carrying insurance on it, and it is in MY name, also daughter was letting him drive it and his license is revoked or suspended right now. Another reason I took it was because they don't have money enough for payments or insurance because she is on disability, and he only gets $250 a month of his disability since the rest is taken for his child support. He has considerable lawyer bills as he is facing yet another felony trial this summer (he is a real winner). I told them their problems were all their own fault, not mine. He lost his first wife and their home from his drug addiction problems. His 2 vehicles were repossessed in December for not paying payments for 10 months. He told me I never helped them out anyway, so my POOR daughter has been left to fend for herself, and it's all MY fault my grandsons now have no dependable car around for their needs. Does this sound as stupid as I think it does...or is it just me? I don't feel I owe them a thing. I have been raising her oldest child for 11 years, she has never helped financially. I kept one other child for months while SHE drew a welfare check and food stamps for him (so dishonest). I have purchased all her kids school clothes and supplies most all their lives, and have paid for medical needs too. I am fed up with these adults thinking I should just work myself silly and hand them anything they want all the time. So I am the mean bad mom, but I am sick of their sense of entitlement, and told them to leave me alone! I just needed to rant a bit...sorry. I am feeli ng much better now. Had to let it out, and life goes on!

Hello my name is Jane. First of all I must say that I love my 3 adult children very much. However, to be quite honest I am exhausted, sad, angry, confused, worried and hurt, and I have been dealing with their issues for many years. My kids have been into drugs (using and selling), have all had kids young and out of wedlock, been arrested, lied, stolen, and they have a serious sense of entitlement for some reason. I am raising one grandchild, and have all her life. She's 11. Her mother, my daughter,  is bipolar and  severe,  she is on disability. I have tried to help her , teach her to parent, I  helped financially (for 3 grandchildrens sake), my husband  got her husband jobs with benefits , he lost them due to drugs . Now they are divorced, she ended up in rehab for using needle drugs,  met a man there, and moved in with him a month later. She yanks my grandsons constantly. One grandson was in 6 schoosl last year, different towns, men etc. He has been with me for a few months because  daughter said he was not happy or treated fairly at her boyfriends house. BUT...she has been drawing welfare and food stamps on him. Family services found out and  going to cut her benefits, so she's jerking my grandson back to her boyfriends home because they need the welfare benefits! He is crushed, he is 7 years old. This will make the third school this year, is only just the end of the first quarter. My other child, a son is angry at us because he and his wife feel like we "DON'T DO ENOUGH FOR THEM" He has a good job, his wife chooses not to work, her parents only have a few grandkids and they help them a lot, but they expect MORE! They spend money for $500 football tickets, Wii and games, huge cell phone bills, and they eat out DAILY. Their daughter (one of my grandaughters) is 11, and is on facebook and her photos are sexually provocative, she puts her phone number on there, and adult men talk to her there, but my son defends it. I can't take any more, and there has been so much more. HELP!