March 29, 2024, 04:43:42 AM

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"Welcome to WiseWomenUnite.com -- When adult children marry and leave home, life can sometimes get more complex instead of simpler.  Being a mother-in-law or daughter-in-law can be tough.  How do we extend love and support to our mothers-in-law, adult children, daughters-in-law, sons-in-law, and grandchildren without interfering?  What do we do when there are communication problems?  How can we ask for help when we need it without being a burden?  And how do our family members feel about these issues?  We invite you to join our free forum, read some posts... and when you're ready...share your challenges and wisdom."


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Topics - FairyGodmother

1
hello,

I am new here. I googled 'what to do when your DIL is spiteful' and found this forum. I have just finished reading some of the posts. Looks like I'm not alone. So here's what's eating me at the moment. I am feeling low today because I did not see my grandchildren last night in their Hallowe'en costumes. My son and his wife live 5 minutes away. The last time they stopped by on Hallowe'en was 3 years ago. I thought to myself yesterday, "She'll post a picture on facebook tomorrow". Sure enough, she did just that. This is a person who only posts about 4 times a year on her FB page. It's not like we're estranged grandparents. We babysit when asked to do so. We go to all the birthday parties. We go to the skating and the hockey games (our oldest grand daughter just started to play hockey). Basically, if they need us, we're there. The girls are never allowed to sleep over though. I just need to know I'm not alone and after reading the posts I know I am not. It's so sad the way some DIL's treat their in-laws. Seeing grandkids is one of the joys in life. There have been Christmases when we didn't see them too. They just don't show up. I don't get it. Anyway, I've 'unfollowed' my DIL on Facebook. I don't need the pain of seeing what I missed. Come to think of it, the only time she posts pictures of the grand children is when they have not come for a holiday. Not that Hallowe'en is a holiday but there is definite pattern there and I'm just realising it now as I type this! I could go on and on with things she has done to hurt me over the years but I'm sure you've heard it all before. My son just does what he's told to avoid the backlash. My husband did have a talk with him a couple of years ago but he's resigned himself to the situation at home. I think their marriage is in trouble but I really don't want to know. She's very close to her family and sees them on a regular basis (no absent holidays there!). I just wish my DH and I could have our grandchildren even for one day. But I know that will never happen. I gave up asking years ago after being told no for whatever reason she deemed fit at the time. FYI........DS and DIL have been married for 12 years. Kids are 10,7 and 5. Thank God for a place like this where we can find comfort in each other's pain.