I was just wondering if any of you have reached the point of giving up the notion of ever reconcilling with your estranged children. In my case it has been eight years since I last saw my AS and at this point, I have no idea where he is living, how he is doing etc. I have tried getting in contact with him over the last years and short of hiring a pi , it has not been a successful search. He has not only cut me out of his life but also his three sisters, aunts, uncles etc.
Our original disagreement concerned money but that was fourteen years ago and it ended up I wiped the slate clean of over 85,000 dollars in hopes it wold mend the relationship. He has never actually said what his problem was although I gather it was because I made the incorrect assumption that he would actually pay back the loan as agreed. In his eyes, it was totally wrong for a parent to expect that and it should just be taken as a responsibility of the parent.
As far as my dil , I really have never had any type of relationship with her as we have never lived close enough for that to happen. For the last fourteen years I have lived outside the US and when I did live there, we were on different coasts. They are both in their early forties so I don't hold much hope that they might reconsider their relationships with our family for whatever reason. They have two children which I have seen once, eight years ago. For the first few years I sent birthday, Christmas gifts but never heard anything and the last year I sent them they were returned because they no longer lived at the address I had.
Like many of you, I do not understand how a son who I had always maintained a close relationship with, suddenly turned into this person I no longer know and although I have gotten to the point that I accept this is the way they want it, there are still those days when I can't help but feel so confused by the whole thing. My relationships with my three daughters has remained strong and constant and I feel badly that he has chosen to just eradicate them as well as me from his life.
In cases like this, we all do go on with our lives but no matter how much we try to bury the pain , it still does surface from time to time.