WiseWomenUnite.com

Coco, i don't know what to say except that the more I read your posts the more you impress me. You are truly a wonderful person and deserve the best that life has to offer.

Creme- I used to buy my dil gifts for every occasion and never got a "thank you" nor have I ever seen anything, so the last time we went on vacation I bought something for everyone but her. I've bought a lot of nice things for my GD also and they never put it on, one time my son said that everything I'd given her was too big and another time he said it was too fancy and they keep it in a drawer and someday they'll show her all the pretty things grandma has given her.

Good for you, Renny!  Since I found this site this is the kind of attitude that I've developed and I haven't gone back, it feels good doesn't it? We have a long way to go but this is the beginning of the healing process. I'm sure my son is thinking "what the heck is going on with her?".
Hang in there my friend, and stay positive, we'll make it!

I lost my mom almost 30 years ago when I was very young. She was very sweet, smart kind and understanding, always knew the right thing to say. She was always there for me and spoiled me. I've missed her so much all these years...

It would definetely bother me, I don't think you're being treated fairly, it seems to me they could spend a holiday with you once in a while but if your son knows how you feel and is ok with it, there's not much you can do. All I can tell you is that kids learn from example and it is important for them to get to know and spend time with both sides of the family unless of course one side of the family was a really bad influence. Your son and dil will pay the consequences of their actions. I'm sorry you're going through this, if you enjoy your single son's company then by all means continue to do what you're doing. Do go and see your grand kids whenever you can though, remember they're not the ones doing this to you.

Mominwaiting, unfortunetely the ball is in your son's court, if he doesn't stick up for you you're out of luck. The ideal thing to do would be one holiday they come to your house and the next they go to dil's parents' house, this way no one feels left out. My daughter is married and that's what her and her husband do, family is very important to both of them, we all live fairly close and because her husband's family always get together later in the evening for every ocassion, we get together a little bit earlier than we used to at our house and that way they can spend time with both families the same day. It can be worked out but until your son says "this time is my mother's turn", most likely nothing is going to change.

DS, DIL and GD were going to come over this weekend but the plans got cancelled due to the severe winter storm we're having. In a way I'm relieved, I stressed over this the entire week, at the same time I was excited and went out and bought gifts for my GD, as the saying goes: you can't live with them and can't live without them.

Oh Coco, I have three children and they are so wonderful and loving. I know my son still loves me and wants to have us in his life but he's also very much in love and will do anything not to rock the boat.
I haven't posted much because I really don't feel there's much more that I can add to all the expert advise given here, I have learned so much from all of you, I was desperate when I came to this site and in just a couple of months I have a much more positive attitude and so much more acceptance of my situation.
This woman has turned our lives upside down for the past 4 years.  All my life I'd heard horror stories about MIL/DIL but never thought it would happen to me. We are a decent family and I felt confident that anyone would be happy and proud to be a part of us but because she has such low self steem I guess she has never felt comfortable around us. I sure hope there's a happy ending but  sincerely doubt it but as long as we can learn to be civil to eachother and she allows us to see our GD whenever possible I'll be happy.
Thanks for your support and understanding.

My son calls me everyday although dil didn't allow us to see eachother for 6 mos. It's always nice to hear his voice but I miss him.

Creme,
My heart goes out to you. I too found out about three months after the fact that DS, DIL and GD came to her parents' house last Easter and didn't stop by to see us, I was so hurt. I couldn't believe my son could do that to us, we didn't see our DS and GD for 6 months, then this past October he and GD came to spend a weekend with us, since then, things have been changing little by little. We can tell that he has missed us and is trying to make up for lost time. The three of them came to spend Thanksgiving with us, then again the day after Christmas and are coming this weekend to visit, also he asked me if in two weeks we can go and babysit our GD for the first time since she was born (1 1/2 yrs. ago) on Saturday. Our DIL still doesn't say much to us but at least it seems like DS is taking steps in the right direction. I don't want to get my hopes too high and it is nerve wrecking for me everytime we get together because I feel like we have to walk on eggshells.

I would be devastated if one of my kids got engaged and didn't share the news with us. I've always felt that honesty is the best policy.

Isitme, don't expect anything right away but don't lose hope. Sometimes when we first meet someone we make up our minds that we don't like them for whatever reason and after we get to know them we realize what a great person he/she is and by the same token, some people make great first impressions and afterwards we see that they're not so great. The fact that you're doing all this says a lot about you. The other thing you can do when you are around them is to act lovingly towards their son, after all what all mothers want most, their children's happiness.

I'm so happy to hear that. I would give anything for my dil to take that first step.

Merry Christmas to all!
I tried to post here once before but wasn't successful.
My husband and I got a puppy when our DIL was pregnant because we knew she would withhold the baby from us as much as she could and haven't regreted it, and like you said Sadat, he can't take the place of our grand daughter but he is a great companion and we love him dearly.