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Kate, you're right.  I know there are always other things behind what I see on FB.  I just wish I could learn to look at the photos and not have that rush of negative emotions.  Hopefully I'll get there some day.  I started reading one of Eckhart Tolles' books and it's helping me see things differently.

I also agree with you about the generation gap; how the 20-somethings treat their parents is radically different from how we treated ours, and the gap seems to be widening as time goes by.  Kind of sad. 

I keep thinking "I must have done something wrong in raising him" but my husband says, no, we didn't!  He's choosing to be influenced by his wife and there's nothing we can do.  I'm trying to get past it but then I make the mistake of going on Facebook and seeing all the photos my DIL posts of the baby with her family, and all the negative feelings come flooding back.  I'm tired of feeling so angry and resentful. 

Hi Pen, yes, I know what you mean.  I keep saying to DH that I miss our son, but what I mean is I miss him when he was about 12 and he still looked up to us and cared about us.  Now...it's hard to say what he feels because he is influenced by his wife.  Very difficult!  Never expected to go through this, but glad there are others to share it with.

Hi,
I'm new to this site but reading through the older posts gives me comfort and hope that someday I will get better at coping with the problems I'm currently having with my son and DIL.

Regarding Father's Day, and other holidays/birthdays, my DH and I (in our 60s) have often remarked on how we always made sure our parents got cards, gifts, a dinner or lunch if possible, on special days.  If we weren't able to be with them, a phone call plus sending a card/gift.  The people in our son's generation just don't seem to value their parents in the same way.  Although we thought we raised our son to be thoughtful, he isn't, and his wife used to pick up the slack, but she's currently angry with us over some issues with her FOO and so leaves it up to him. 

I often think about why the younger generation doesn't view their parents as important the way we did.  I've heard a number of explanations for it, but none of them quite hit it for me.  It's sad.

Anyway, I'm glad to be here among ladies who have been through what DH and I are coping with and I hope to gain some wisdom from you all.