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Problem Solving => Grandchildren => Topic started by: seasage on November 20, 2010, 11:25:30 AM

Title: Olympic squad of fighting grandmothers
Post by: seasage on November 20, 2010, 11:25:30 AM
I feel so very sad when I read that someone has been cut off from her grandchildren.  Today, while driving home from the supermarket, I was thinking about what I would do if that were to happen to me.  I have decided that I would follow an example set by my son.  I would fight like an Olympian.

The first time my son tried out for an Olympic-level team, near the end of the tryout period, the coach told him and ~six other athletes that they probably would not make the team.  It is the only time I have ever seen him cry.  But he didn't give up.  He went back and fought like he!!.  He went around to the other young men who were going to be cut and asked them if they would like to join him in a little squad that was going to go back in fighting.  Most of the others were totally discouraged.  I would bet that they cried also, but they weren't willing to get up and try harder.  My son and 3 others formed a small squad and fought, fought, fought.  It was really hard work.  But my son made the team.  The coach saw his willingness to fight under pressure, to never yield to an opponent.  That is what makes an Olympic champion.

I would like to encourage all you grandmothers who have been cut off from your grandkids to dry your tears, stop feeling sorry for yourselves, and make a plan of action.  Fight for those kids, fight for them even if you never get to see them.  I am sure they are worth fighting for, and the example of a grandma who is willing to fight for them might even make them stronger in the end.  Create your own Olympic squad of fighting grandmothers.  Fight like Olympians!

Make a plan.  Send in cards, gifts, notes, pictures, put money in a bank account for their future use, give them music or game downloads for their ipods, do whatever it takes.  Let them know that you love them and you want them to know it even with all the odds against you.  I am sure your ideas will be better than mine and I encourage you to post them here to share with other great WW.
.
Title: Re: Olympic squad of fighting grandmothers
Post by: luise.volta on November 20, 2010, 12:18:24 PM
I think we gottta learn when to hold 'em and when to fold 'em. Sending love...
Title: Re: Olympic squad of fighting grandmothers
Post by: seasage on November 20, 2010, 12:46:50 PM
Quote from: luise.volta on November 20, 2010, 12:18:24 PM
I think we gottta learn when to hold 'em and when to fold 'em. Sending love...

Hold 'em and fold 'em.  Isn't that poker?  Don't those players sit in a chair and bluff a lot?

;)  Sending love...
.
Title: Re: Olympic squad of fighting grandmothers
Post by: luise.volta on November 20, 2010, 01:06:25 PM
Yes, we do!  8)
Title: Re: Olympic squad of fighting grandmothers
Post by: Marilyn on November 20, 2010, 07:28:21 PM
I" fold em"
Title: Re: Olympic squad of fighting grandmothers
Post by: Pen on November 20, 2010, 07:42:37 PM
There's no right or wrong way to deal with this, no pun intended. I don't know what I'd do. I love the image of the fighting GM, and it could be very healing to have an outlet such as sending cards and gifts, but I also know there's a point at which I might just be bashing my head against a wall forever. In that case, walking away might just be the healthiest thing.

You GMs are amazing. I hope I can conduct myself with such class when/if GC arrive and I'm not given access.
Title: Re: Olympic squad of fighting grandmothers
Post by: Nana on November 21, 2010, 02:40:35 AM
Seasage
I agree with Pen
You are a very kind hearted person.....  I am afraid Seasage that people who cuts-off others from their lives will not be moved by such nice gestures.  When they dont want to have you around...they will just dont.  It would make me feel worse to send nice things to her and to be ignored or whatever she might do. 


I am a warrior but I choose my battles .  Grandchildren are a good reason to fight for...but only and when it is worth fighting for.  How can we fight a battle if we dont understand what the battle is about.  I say this...because it is clear that we sometimes do not know why we are dealing with rejection, disrespect and hurt. 
I consider myself extremely thoughtful person towards those who love me and have gratified me or honored me with their love and respect.  But I do not agree in sending flowers, cards, money to a person that do not deserve it. (at least for now).I think it would be overdoing it. 

I know that many gm here will do every thing it takes to win our sons/dils heart.....and that is perfectly okey..... but I really dont think this will work out.

Good luck
Title: Re: Olympic squad of fighting grandmothers
Post by: JaneF on November 21, 2010, 03:56:36 AM
This issue I know a little about unfortunately! For many years I felt like fighting like an Olympian as far as my DS and DIL's daughters. My DS's FOO was always given the "crumbs" as far as holidays and GC school programs. I have wisely kept my mouth shut even though I wanted to say to DIL, "WHAT THE HECK???" Things have never changed, but recently my DS and DIL have decided they are angry at me and my husband because we "don't do enough for him and his family!" :o ??? ::) They say DIL's FOO does more for them and expect us to compete??? Can anyone say "sense of entitlement?". I have always done the same for their children as I have other GC, except for the one I am raising. But they do not understand I am RAISING her, I am supposed to buy her school clothes and supplies! But they think I should do the same for their girls, even though DIL's FOO buy them school clothes etc. I do buy them Christmas gifts, even though DIL's FOO gets ALL holidays, no exceptions, I get them birthday stuff (and we are not included in the parties either, except once in their lives), I get them Easter gifts, Valentines Day gifts etc. I refuse to fight though. I will do what I can do, but ultimately they make the decisions and control when we can see the girls. I refuse to let them hold that over my head any more. I refuse to react in anger either. I don't have time for the mind games. DS has to live with DIL, so they have to do what works for them. I choose to do what is best for us! What ever happens, happens! I'll let them know about the gifts I choose to give them, if they refuse them, nothing I can do about it. I'll know I have done the "right thing" for me and will not allow them to guilt trip me! I refuse to fight "other" grandparents or compete for "best grandparent award!". Ridiculous and time consuming! I am a good grandma, and love them very much. NUFF SAID! Have a most joyous day to all here!
Title: Re: Olympic squad of fighting grandmothers
Post by: JaneF on November 21, 2010, 04:01:10 AM
OOPS! I stated something wrong in my last post! Imagine that! I meant to say DIL's family gets all holidays and OUR SIDE of the family (DS's FOO) gets the crumbs! Sorry for the confusion, I had a ding bat moment!!!
Title: Re: Olympic squad of fighting grandmothers
Post by: Pen on November 21, 2010, 05:54:49 AM
As Emily Latella (the Gilda Radner character? Did I just pull that name out of the murky depths of my memory?) said, "Well, that's quite different then." Or something to that effect.

I hate getting the crumbs  :(
Title: Re: Olympic squad of fighting grandmothers
Post by: seasage on November 21, 2010, 08:28:03 AM
The DS who provided the example on how to be an Olympian also happens to work for one of the world's largest corporations.  He tells me that often when he goes into meetings, the discussion goes off track, and he needs to stand up and ask, what is your goal? 

My goal is to let my GC know that I am a GM who loves them in spite of all odds.  My goal is not to woo the parents: they have already rejected me and so I certainly am not going to send them presents!  My goal is not to amuse myself by playing with my GC: clearly that is not allowed, and so I will not spend another minute stressing over it.

My goal is simple.  Find ways to let the GC know that I still love them and let them know that I have not given up, in spite of all odds.  My plan is to send things, notes, thoughts, ideas, etc. to the GC. To the grandchildren. 

I would like to emulate JaneF, who describes her efforts with her GC in this post:
   http://www.wisewomenunite.com/index.php/topic,1160.msg23286.html#msg23286

Rose799 describes some Olympic-caliber ideas here:
   http://www.wisewomenunite.com/index.php/topic,1160.msg23189.html#msg23189
 
And there are many other good ideas on this forum.  Give me some time to go back and dig them up.  Or ... if you WW remember them, please direct me to them.
   
Title: Re: Olympic squad of fighting grandmothers
Post by: Pen on November 21, 2010, 08:54:15 AM
One GM who couldn't contact the GC or DIL at all started a scrapbook of all the unsent cards, letters, memories, pictures, etc. I believe GM's DS had passed away and she thought her GD might want to know about him when she came of age. Her story was truly heartbreaking.
Title: Re: Olympic squad of fighting grandmothers
Post by: JaneF on November 21, 2010, 11:05:18 AM
Rose, I'm glad you are not allowing the news of DD spending Thanksgiving somewhere else get you too down. I deal with that every year, and frankly I've gotten used to it! I usually do have DD and her kids all around though, but since I put my foot down with her and set boundaries...who knows? Do you have other family and friends to spend Thanksgiving with? If you already said in your post, I have forgotten (busy weekend!). I plan to spend the holidays where ever there are loved ones that want to enjoy each other, and we have accepted an invitation already. If I see DD fine, if not fine. My oldest son is planning on coming, and I'm happy about that. I get to meet my "new adopted grandchildren" (3 of them) that day, and my sons fiance! I know what you mean about NPD too! I have daughter like that, and DIL too! Strange personalities to deal with huh? No reasoning with them most of the time, and it is a waste of time trying to understand the things they do or say, or don't do even! I have finally learned it isn't my job to try to understand it anyway, and I am not able to "FIX" everyone, or solve everyone else's problems! Life is too short to be upset and unhappy all the time...I feel so much better without the weight of all that junk. If my adult kids want to treat me with respect (and my home), fine. If they want to spend time with us, fine...if not OH WELL, I will survive. Sounds like you are getting the same ideas Rose!!! I need a nap because I have to be at work at midnight, so I better "shut up" and go to bed! I need to be alert and prepared for power outages, house fires, and just folks wanting to pay their light bill! Have a great Sunday afternoon all.
Title: Re: Olympic squad of fighting grandmothers
Post by: Faithlooksup on December 02, 2010, 06:52:22 AM
Hi,  I do agree with seasage's post---fight fight fight--but then, their is also reality in our situations...  our adult children do not welcome us and they have the GC's.  So when you are not welcomed, ignored and they simply do not choose to have you in worlds---how do you fight that, its a loosing battle.  You can call and send gifts and stand on your head for years--but if you dont want someone in your world the door is closed--you can even kick down that door but they still will turn away from you, and all you get out of it is a broken heart and slapped in the face.  You finially stop fighting and you give up...
So Seasage, in all do respect until you walk in our shoes~~you will never know the battle and how hard we have tried, along with the years of trying as well.  You finially just raise the white flag up in surrender and move on...
Blessings and HUGS to all...Faith
Title: Re: Olympic squad of fighting grandmothers
Post by: seasage on December 02, 2010, 07:14:40 AM
Quote from: Faithlooksup on December 02, 2010, 06:52:22 AM
Hi,  I do agree with seasage's post---fight fight fight--but then, their is also reality in our situations...  our adult children do not welcome us

ignored and they simply do not choose to have you in worlds---

You can call and send gifts and stand on your head for years--but if you dont want someone in your world the door is closed--you can even kick down that door but they still will turn away from you, and all you get out of it is a broken heart and slapped in the face.  You finially stop fighting and you give up...

So Seasage, in all do respect until you walk in our shoes~~

Faith, I will walk in your shoes one day.  If you want to know how my DIL treats me, read the thread under Daughters in Law and/or Sons in Law, "When should I give up".

I reiterate.  My question to all is what is your goal
1.  Is your goal to find a way into the home of your gc, to be allowed in the door?  To have physical contact with your gc, hug them?  To have your gc visit you at your home and play with them?
2.  Is your goal to let your gc know that they are loved by you - loved even though DIL won't allow access?

My goal will be #2.

With all due respect and blessings,
seasage
Title: Re: Olympic squad of fighting grandmothers
Post by: Faithlooksup on December 03, 2010, 05:07:20 AM
Seasage~~I am a "Newbie" here (1 week old as a matter of fact) so I am not aware of everyones story...
Option # 2 is good, as long as it works.  I have a friend is also going thru a similar situation with her DIL..she sends cards to GC all the time only to find out thru Son that DIL throws out everything she sends, so the GC have NO idea what Grandma is sending them...Horrible isn't it.
Title: Re: Olympic squad of fighting grandmothers
Post by: luise.volta on December 03, 2010, 05:28:43 AM
50 posts in one week! Wow!
Title: Re: Olympic squad of fighting grandmothers
Post by: Faithlooksup on December 03, 2010, 05:34:22 AM
Thanks Luise, I did not realise I made that many myself... :) ;) :D ;D :-*
Title: Re: Olympic squad of fighting grandmothers
Post by: holliberri on February 01, 2011, 02:08:58 PM
??? Off to DILSociety with you then,
Title: Re: Olympic squad of fighting grandmothers
Post by: LaurieS on February 01, 2011, 02:11:58 PM
oh wow my comment was deleted.. I thought it was fitting
Title: Re: Olympic squad of fighting grandmothers
Post by: cadagi101 on February 01, 2011, 02:22:28 PM
Quote from: Laurie on February 01, 2011, 02:11:58 PM
oh wow my exploding vagina comment was deleted.. I thought it was fitting


Ha ha, I had to read it a few x's till I laughed and will laugh all day.
Title: Re: Olympic squad of fighting grandmothers
Post by: LaurieS on February 01, 2011, 02:31:58 PM
I thought she was very descriptive .. I almost wish I had pasted her critique of the boards to word.. 
Title: Re: Olympic squad of fighting grandmothers
Post by: Pooh on February 01, 2011, 02:35:49 PM
Dang...a drive-by MILing and I missed it!
Title: Re: Olympic squad of fighting grandmothers
Post by: LaurieS on February 01, 2011, 02:37:35 PM
Quote from: Pooh on February 01, 2011, 02:35:49 PM
Dang...a drive-by MILing and I missed it!

And this one has her guns or should I say blasting
Title: Re: Olympic squad of fighting grandmothers
Post by: holliberri on February 01, 2011, 03:09:39 PM
I've been laughing the whole way to the store and back about it! Luise is a better woman than I, that's all I have to say.
Title: Re: Olympic squad of fighting grandmothers
Post by: luise.volta on February 01, 2011, 03:53:22 PM
Descriptive, yes...OK here, no. Come on you guys, you are having way too much fun! (And yes, I'm ROTFL!)
Title: Re: Olympic squad of fighting grandmothers
Post by: LaurieS on February 01, 2011, 04:30:07 PM
We hope you copied that lovely statement of hatred.. Pooh missed it and now she feels left out
Title: Re: Olympic squad of fighting grandmothers
Post by: luise.volta on February 01, 2011, 04:48:21 PM
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Olympic squad of fighting grandmothers
Post by: Pen on February 01, 2011, 06:57:09 PM
I missed the whole thing. Some of us have stuff to do all day, you know... >:(
Title: Re: Olympic squad of fighting grandmothers
Post by: luise.volta on February 01, 2011, 07:11:09 PM
 :'(
Title: Re: Olympic squad of fighting grandmothers
Post by: LaurieS on February 01, 2011, 07:12:45 PM
I memorized part of it.. would you like for me to recite it
Title: Re: Olympic squad of fighting grandmothers
Post by: luise.volta on February 01, 2011, 07:16:03 PM
Laurie is going to contact you by Personal Message any time now...her mind is like a steel trap!  :-X
Title: Re: Olympic squad of fighting grandmothers
Post by: LaurieS on February 01, 2011, 07:19:21 PM
Quote from: luise.volta on February 01, 2011, 07:16:03 PM
Laurie is going to contact you by Personal Message any time now...her mind is like a steel trap!  :-X
I already sent Pen a message. 

I really was enjoying reading that girls creative use of words... I thought now if she put any of that energy into something positive her life would probably be much nicer
Title: Re: Olympic squad of fighting grandmothers
Post by: luise.volta on February 01, 2011, 07:26:09 PM
Yuck!
Title: Re: Olympic squad of fighting grandmothers
Post by: LaurieS on February 01, 2011, 07:28:18 PM
You've got to admit her sentence structure was correct :)
Title: Re: Olympic squad of fighting grandmothers
Post by: luise.volta on February 01, 2011, 07:35:20 PM
You are such a rascal! ::)
Title: Re: Olympic squad of fighting grandmothers
Post by: Pooh on February 02, 2011, 05:29:14 AM
 :'( 
Title: Re: Olympic squad of fighting grandmothers
Post by: Pooh on February 02, 2011, 10:40:38 AM
You didn't make me cry.  I just really hate that no matter which way you go, the child will be the one to suffer the consequences.
Title: Re: Olympic squad of fighting grandmothers
Post by: holliberri on February 03, 2011, 06:15:51 AM
I read a really good article about "long distance" grandparents a while back...

The end of it says, "No matter what, your grandchildren will KNOW you."

I thought it was powerful, and at least in my experience, true. My grandad was sick and passed away when I was 8...but the coolest thing he ever did was taught me to juggle (at 6), and he took us out to the sandbar at the beach for the first time. We didn't see him often, maybe a handful of times in the 8 years.

Those are the only two memories I have of him...but for some reason...I feel like I know everything about him based on those two experiences somehow.

I also have an aunt I've only seen 5 times in my life that insisted on sending gifts every year when we were growing up; somehow that makes me know her and feel close to her too.

The things kids remember are incredible; if the relationship definitely has to be at a distance (even "forced" distance), it can still work.  The goal you had in mind is still reached.
Title: Re: Olympic squad of fighting grandmothers
Post by: LaurieS on February 03, 2011, 08:19:14 AM
My son called (Skype) late last night.. we talked for over 2 hours.. I will remember in the future, keep it to an hour or when the conversation goes sour.  We were talking about our upcoming trip in Aug.. first he was upset because it was obvious that everyone else knew  more of the details then he does.. I said yeah well that kinda happens when you get married and start another life, you aren't as embedded in ours... then he said well, I would have liked to have done some of those things but you know my wife is like you.. hmmm like me?  I said funny I've never seen any resemblance, but oh please do enlighten me (lesson two.. never open the doors on that conversation) he went on about how like I, she demands 40' RV's, or nice hotels when traveling.. I said whoa right there.. I have never demanded luxury surroundings nor have I ever had them, so I don't know where he is coming up with that.. I informed him that I did not appreciate being compared in any manner other then having 2 boobs and wearing mascara.   I reminded him that at about her age I was hiking across the Grand Canyon, hiking Big Bend, capable of carrying a weeks worth of supplies on my back and living without a shower for the duration.  I also reminded him that he wasn't even around to know me then and that he had no place judging who I was at that point of my life much less to compare me with the "I don't do that" princess.

I am seeing a pattern here and I don't fully understand it.. My parents chose to not take part in their gc's lives, so I think my son sees that it will be ok if only her parents are active with his future children.  When I asked him if I would be Grandma Who, he said well I had a grandmother like that.  He is accepting of her "I don't do that" ways by trying to see me as that same person. I told him that he better sit up and take notice that his wife and I are nothing alike and that I felt insulted by the comparison.. and that trying to tag me to justify some of her behavior was not realistic .. then I hung up and went to bed and I slept like a baby.. have you ever heard of someone taking that angle on life.
Title: Re: Olympic squad of fighting grandmothers
Post by: Pen on February 03, 2011, 08:26:10 AM
Laurie, I have heard of people making up their own reality to fit an agenda. I wonder what your DS is thinking today after you set him straight?

Wow, a 2 hour conversation with your DS - I'm lucky to get more than 2 words in a text these days. In case I'm ever in the position of actually talking to DS via phone or Skype again, thanks for the tip re: ending the conversation after an hour.
Title: Re: Olympic squad of fighting grandmothers
Post by: LaurieS on February 03, 2011, 08:30:49 AM
Honestly.. I'm thinking that he never really heard a word I was saying.
Title: Re: Olympic squad of fighting grandmothers
Post by: holliberri on February 03, 2011, 08:55:34 AM
Oh...Laurie, take heart. That phase might pass.

DH thought I was exactly like MIL. He said it all the time; I think we've both proven him wrong. I haven't heard that in about 3-4 years.  I never argued with him about it...it just passed.

Those old stereotypes don't help:

1. Men marry their mothers.
2. Women take after their mothers.
3. People are just closer with the girl's side of the family.
4. Behind every good man stands a good woman.
5. Men leave their families forever.

There's a ton more. I think people try really hard to get their life to fit these silly, inaccurate statements. I think if people stopped saying them, they'd stop being perpetuated.

Sorry about the Skype Convo. :(
Title: Re: Olympic squad of fighting grandmothers
Post by: luise.volta on February 03, 2011, 10:17:03 AM
Oh, Laurie...familiar stuff there. Selective listening, selective memory, denial of responsibility, rationalization and rewriting history to be a few that jumped out at me. To ague with a young adult is sometimes like arguing with a drunk. One person is present, the other isn't. Sending love...
Title: Re: Olympic squad of fighting grandmothers
Post by: holliberri on February 03, 2011, 10:18:20 AM
Quote from: luise.volta on February 03, 2011, 10:17:03 AM
To ague with a young adult is sometimes like arguing with a drunk. One person is present, the other isn't.


I resent that!  >:(

;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Olympic squad of fighting grandmothers
Post by: LaurieS on February 03, 2011, 11:42:01 AM
Really Luise.. Holli can stand her own drunk or not :)
Title: Re: Olympic squad of fighting grandmothers
Post by: LaurieS on February 03, 2011, 11:50:41 AM
Yeah other then ticking me off the conversation went pretty good.. He remembered that he was on Skype so he never scratched or did any of those other inappropriate things.  I would have just preferred that he compared his wife to Princess Diana then to me.  I hope this is a phase because if this is his new way to rationalize things he'll be met with opposition.  I'm sure the last thing my dil wants is to be compared to me, as she thinks I have tacky taste.  I do hope that Holli is right and he is just feeding into preconceived notions of mother/dil roles.. I know it's not women as a whole, as he's talked often about being in awe of some of the women he's met in college and in the military.

Oh well, not my problem.. hey I tried out Curves.. wish they'd let you go around the equipment more but the equipment is nice. 
Title: Re: Olympic squad of fighting grandmothers
Post by: luise.volta on February 03, 2011, 11:58:11 AM
Will all of the young adults here (age 18 to 21 or thereabouts,) please stand up.  ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Olympic squad of fighting grandmothers
Post by: holliberri on February 03, 2011, 11:59:23 AM
Well...as long as it's not that "I-was-hoping-you'd-both-find-some-common-ground-so-I'll-just-MAKE-some-common-ground-for-you" tactic. That never works.

Haha...Luise..I fold.
Title: Re: Olympic squad of fighting grandmothers
Post by: luise.volta on February 03, 2011, 12:13:59 PM
That'll be the day, H. Don't you dare!  ;D
Title: Re: Olympic squad of fighting grandmothers
Post by: LaurieS on February 03, 2011, 12:18:07 PM
No Holli. I think he is tossing anything out there now to see if something besides poo will stick. 

I asked my son to check with his roommate to see if he needed anything in particular for me to include inside the package.. he said ok.. I'll send you a list tomorrow.. I'll ask all the guys. I could be sending a gigantic box at this rate.. He said that he knows they want potato chips.. he said that snack food was the most lacking.
Title: Re: Olympic squad of fighting grandmothers
Post by: Pooh on February 03, 2011, 12:18:47 PM
<---stands up
Title: Re: Olympic squad of fighting grandmothers
Post by: LaurieS on February 03, 2011, 12:24:29 PM
 Yeah I'm not wild about snakes either.. one could endanger my new pet rats
Title: Re: Olympic squad of fighting grandmothers
Post by: Pooh on February 03, 2011, 01:12:22 PM
You know, I sometimes wonder if there are only certain time periods that their memory retains information too.  My DS made a comment a few years back that shocked me.  I made a big Sunday afternoon dinner, and while we were eating it, DS said something like, "Wow, Mom.  This is great.  You should have cooked more often when we were growing up."   I remember thinking "What?"  I cooked from the time they were born until he was age 5 literally 7 days a week.  Then when they started playing sports, it was more fast food, but I still cooked at least 3 times a week.  And then when they started driving, I cooked at least 5 times a week, with them coming in late from practice and warming up a plate.  But to hear him tell it, this was the first time I had ever cooked in his life.
Title: Re: Olympic squad of fighting grandmothers
Post by: LaurieS on February 03, 2011, 01:18:51 PM
Quote from: Pooh on February 03, 2011, 01:12:22 PM
You know, I sometimes wonder if there are only certain time periods that their memory retains information too.  My DS made a comment a few years back that shocked me.  I made a big Sunday afternoon dinner, and while we were eating it, DS said something like, "Wow, Mom.  This is great.  You should have cooked more often when we were growing up."   I remember thinking "What?"  I cooked from the time they were born until he was age 5 literally 7 days a week.  Then when they started playing sports, it was more fast food, but I still cooked at least 3 times a week.  And then when they started driving, I cooked at least 5 times a week, with them coming in late from practice and warming up a plate.  But to hear him tell it, this was the first time I had ever cooked in his life.

Yeah kids are like in their own world.. mine are really clueless as to who we were before we hit 50 :) and they were there for a lot of it.  DH and son were having a conversation about me one day.. he says.. yes your mom when your age was fabulous, she was pretty, and smart... had a wild carefree attitude, she was adventurous and fearless.. she loved life and loved love... and then... she got married.  Hmmm no wonder our boys don't have a clue. 
Title: Re: Olympic squad of fighting grandmothers
Post by: Pooh on February 03, 2011, 01:22:08 PM
Gotta luv em. 
Title: Re: Olympic squad of fighting grandmothers
Post by: Pen on February 03, 2011, 05:50:38 PM
I can't remember who suggested that our DILs only knew what our DSs told them about us...it was one of our wonderful DILs, but I'm too lazy to search for the OP. Anyway, I think it may be true that some of our DILs have some weird ideas about us due to our DSs odd childhood memories.

My DIL thinks we chewed gum instead of brushing our teeth. One time we were running late and I looked over to realize, horrified, that DDD hadn't done a good job brushing. I gave her a piece of gum. From that one event DS must have told DIL the story that we chewed gum instead of brushing.

Title: Re: Olympic squad of fighting grandmothers
Post by: holliberri on February 03, 2011, 06:00:06 PM
My dad and I've had so many arguments about what I remember and what I remember correctly.

I remember he made me quit dance. He remembers he would never even let me quit anything let alone MAKE me quit something. That's just one example. We reached a compromise: I wasn't taking dance seriously, so he must've told me I had to quit to see if I would fight him on it. I guess I didn't, so I quit. Neither of us completely agrees with that version of events, but it does keep the peace.
Title: Re: Olympic squad of fighting grandmothers
Post by: JaneF on February 06, 2011, 07:56:48 AM
Luise, I LOVED your statement about arguing and one person not being present! So true! I often have been shocked by the "memories" my kids have had. Makes me wonder where was I at this point in their lives! Sheesh. Is is like that old selective hearing thing perhaps???? I wonder who the lady was that was doing all that cooking and cleaning, traveling to track meets and football games, voice lessons and drum lessons, parent teacher conferences, delivering girl scout cookies and dealing with cheerleader junk, and working as well?????? Hmmmmm. They were a bit neglected it seems.... ::) :o :P
Title: Re: Olympic squad of fighting grandmothers
Post by: luise.volta on February 06, 2011, 09:09:31 AM
Oh, poor babies! What a tough life!!  :'(