Hi everyone,
I was just wondering how all you moms who are estranged from your adult children are feeling, and how you will handle Mothers' Day this weekend. I know I will not see my ODD, not sure about YDD, but this is the day we are supposed to be celebrated and treasured. I have been feeling down all week because of this, and can't wait for it to be over. I always used to spend it with my dds. It is especially hard when friends ask "How are you spending Mothers' Day? I'd love to hear from my WWU sisters on this.....................Jill
{{{Hugs}}}Jill, I too am not looking forward to Sunday. The ads on TV & elsewhere get everyone all worked up and there's no escaping the well-wishers who assume we're all being feted like crazy. I too wish it was over. Sad, isn't it? But that's kind of how I feel about all holidays and celebrations anymore - used to love them, now I dread them.
My kids are not estranged, so I am grateful for that. It's difficult to know DS is spending the day w/DIL's mom & FOO with a big celebration like every Mother's Day since they married. I try not to let it bother me and I make sure I treat myself to something (DH always says "You're not my mother" but one of these days he'll figure out it would be cheaper for him to encourage the kids to do something than to let me loose on my own), but it still hurts.
We moms put in a lot of years doing our best for our kids, and it's nice to be shown appreciation every now & then. I don't ordinarily care about it being on The Day, but why am I always the one giving in? When is it DIL's mom's turn to take the back seat to me? And why can't DH let me know that he appreciates the good mothering I gave his children? I show him appreciation on Father's Day.
Jill and Pen--- I wish someday...you will be compensated for all that has been taken away from you.... the right to be loved and acknowledged by your children.
But remember Ladies....you are wonderful mothers and are worth a million. Your children will understand this sooner or later.
I also look forward to Mother's day being over. I really dont have a good reason but it is how I feel this day. We all get together in mil's house with my sisters-in-law, husbands, children. It is all about my mil who I love dearly. My son/dil and daughters are there too. We always disagree on what we are going to eat, at what time, etc. So its not my favorite day.
I feel sad for you dear Ladies who are distanced from your children. You all deserve to be happy and feel appreciated, at least this day. My husband also always says...that I am not his mother so he is really more concerned about his mom. It doesnt matter, my Birthday is this month also and this will be my day lol.
I am sending you all Mothers a big hug...and the best wishes for you all.....Miracles Happen
Love
I along with Nana want to send you two ladies and any of the others that need it, "A HUGE SWEET HUG!! FOR MOM'S DAY" It made me sad to read your post Jill and your reply Pen! :(
I have to wonder how anyone could spend a special day like "Mother's Day" with someone else's Mom and not think of their own? That boggles my mind to say the least.
I remember many,many moons ago , When my husband also made the comment about how I wasn't his Mother. I laid into him! It was along time ago but I still remember most of what I said, And so does he! I just ask him. (We are at this moment sitting at our kitchen table with "hot" coffee! Yummy! He's finishing up his breakfast and I read this post to him.)
I remember telling him when our oldest was about 5 years old that it didn't have a *blanking* thing to do with if I was *his* Mother or not! He has a home full of Son's that need to be taught how a *Man* treats a woman. That was a job only he could do. So it isn't that *I* want your $1.00 card. I want you to teach our children to think of someone besides them selves once and awhile and that everyone deserves to be appreciated!
So we didn't have any more issues with this subject. ;)
Doesn't it just blow your mind sometimes how Men think? Geeezzz!
Kennedy, I love that philosophy and say that to DH all the time. My DD is watching everything and this is how she will learn to let her spouse treat her.
I could have sworn that Mother's Day was last Sunday... after seeing this post I had to look it up and hmmm it really is this upcoming Sunday. I may or may not get a call from my son in Japan as he will probably be as clueless as I as to when it actually is.
I guess that once again I'm an oddity here, as this holiday has no real significance to me. Maybe when the kids were younger but I was busy even then trying to teach them that everyday is Mother's Day :)
Right on, Laurie ;D Whether we do it ourselves (I love my new shoes/handbag) or are lucky enough to have others do it (new Coach bag mom, please stand up!)
As a kid I'd always ask when it was going to be Kids Day, my dad told me that was every day lol.
Yeah, I'm not much for celebrating the hallmark holidays, I'm just excited for whatever DD brings home from school. And I just like the regular dandelion picking days anyway.
Oh Pam, I miss those days..I loved getting school projects and wildflower bouquets. They were the best!
I dread holidays because it's becoming increasingly more difficult to keep my happy face on. Sometimes I just feel like doing the "ugly cry" while sitting on that queen-for-the-day throne. Either my blinders are defective or it's time for an attitude adjustment! :-\ ;)
I have a few cherished gifts that my kids made or purchased for me, these items I keep on a special shelf in my closet that I can look at each day as I'm dressing. Not a one of these were actual Mother's Day gifts, or President's Day, Secretary's Day, or even Easter and Christmas... they all represent a moment in my kids lives when I was at the tip top of their minds... when no one was encouraging them to think about Mom, but they were thinking of me anyway. That is what makes a gift special to me.. my most cherished from my boys is a coffee mug with a dinosaur on it.. We had just moved into our new home the boys went exploring and came back and secretly pool together some money. They went back to the florist shop and bought me this mug they saw because they know how much I enjoy my coffee and well you all know that dinosaurs are my favorite creatures. (do not tell son even now that they are not my favorite creatures) on their way home the stopped and picked a nice size bouquet of fresh flowers to put into my cup, daisy's, roses, the most beautiful definitely not wild growing in the field kind of flowers. It was worth the tongue lashing that I took from the florist shop which is also a nursery. I retired that mug just 2 years ago and placed it on the shelf with other items that I would like to be buried with one day... Hallmark can keep their cards and I never want a forced gift, I honestly did not realize that Mother's Day had not passed and I have no intentions of really celebrating the day.
One of my cup toting sons was here last week, he left yesterday and suddenly the house was quiet again and I felt really sad for a few hours.. but this morning I had my coffee in that mug, washed it and placed it back on the shelf..
Mani/pedi needed here, Rose! Take yourself out for a nice lunch, some pampering (my kids used to think I was going to be wearing diapers while getting my hair done) and some time to reconnect with your inner goddess (the woman you were before kids.) Yeah, it sounds shallow, but it gets the job done. And you'll be much more attractive w/o mascara running down your face, LOL.
Laurie, you're absolutely right. I love that story, BTW. I can just picture it. What hurts me is knowing ('cos they always tell me) that DIL's FOO comes first. I must get over it, and although I am improving it still gets me every now & then. I'm going to focus on those treasures from years past, thanks for the tip.
That is a sweet story Laurie.
Thanks Pen, that sounds wonderful! I was concerned it might require something more along the line of a 2x4 up against the side of my head... ;)
There's probably a 2 X 4 option at some nail salons, you never know :D
Quote from: Pen on May 05, 2011, 08:32:43 AM
There's probably a 2 X 4 option at some nail salons, you never know :D
:D :D :D :D :D
I don't have much going on about Mother's Day. My eldest sort-of daughter brought me Flowers and plants two weeks ago when she celebrated her 66th with me...right before she took off on her first motor home journey in her new (old) motor home. My sort of son may come up and take me out to breakfast. He sometimes does. Another sort of daughter took a day off yesterday and took me out for an "early Mother's Day lunch." My biological sons are in Paradise and Heaven, respectively. Calls, cards and e-cards will come.
Mostly I feel loved to pieces by the lot of them year-round and don't feel the need for much else.
My own mother was a bit cynical..."Don't get me one of those mother-of-pearl pins that says "MOTHER" on it because I will refuse to wear it. Mother's Day is for merchants who want revenue and play on emotions to get it." (She was a bit ahead of her time! ;D ;D ;D)
ask Luise to chose a WWU day .....then we can all celebrate together in different parts of the world .
Mother's day here was in March , I received cards in the post , but no one in person , nice to be remembered though .
That is so appropriate, LL, because I launched WWU on Mother's Day 2009!!!!!
And so WWU Day is Mother's Day!!!! :D :D :D
well Happy Anniversary/Birthday / Mother's Day to you Luise !!
You are a cherished lady , hope you have a Happy Day ...... :)
Thanks! :D Now that you have reminded me, I will post if for one and all...since it is WWU Day!
Thanks for all your replies. Laurie, I too have all kinds of things my dds made for me when they were little, including all kinds of hand drawn cards, even a pin from odd handmade with "My mom's the best" on it. But because she has told me she had such an awful childhood, I feel that they don't mean anything any more.
Anyway, hope everyone has a wonderful WWU on Sunday.................Jill
I was a little worried this year about Mother's Day because last year it caused a fight. My mother got mad at me last year along with other family memeber for not joining my parents, grandma, sister and her bf for dinner. I wanted to go somewhere different then them and my mom never asks me. Then they all got mad and told me I should be there for Grandma. Well Grandma is not my mother and I am a mother know. My Grandma has had over 60 mother's day my Mom this year will be 31 so yeah sorry I feel I have a little right to bask in the glow of motherhood after all I am on number 4. They have had there say on places to eat what to do for decades. Growing up we only spent it with just my parents and my sister. I did really enjoy it being about my new little family last year.(Other years I have gone with out with mom too). MIL passed before I met DH so we don't do Mother's Day with his side.
This year who knows what will happen Saturday we were suppose to do an early Mother's Day with my mom and dad and sister and her fiance but my Uncle(Mom's older brother) passed away this week and we are having a reflection for him on Saturday. And I asked if she wanted to do something Sunday and she said not really thinking about it. Which I understand.
I am sorry about your Uncle, SassyDI.
We're going to spend Mother's Day with MIL...it usually works out that way one way or another. I asked DH not to get my anything b/c I really don't need much and I still haven't used my Christmas gift (which is a spa day...you'd think I'd cash in that gift card!). Plus, I never felt like this holiday would ever be celebrating me anyhow. There are too many mom's around for that. I'll take the ordinary days. LOL.
My condolences, SassyDI.
Just think, in a few years you'll be the matriarch and it'll be your turn to call the shots!
I have one Son that I will hear from and one I will not. I have no expections from that one, so really, it isn't going to bother me. We just had all the tornadoes, and that Son did not even bother to check if we were dead or alive, so in my mind it's his lost. I called my Mother five times.
That may sound harsh, but that is truly how I feel about it. I will rejoice in the one Son I have and visit my Mom and MIL. Good enough for me!
Kirk sent me an image of a little bear holding a bouquest of roses the day we lauched www.MomResponds.com which was Mothers Day 2005
(http://www.momresponds.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/teddy-bear-dozen-roses-1.jpg)
He's a cutie ....I have one similar called Teddy Edward ..... ;D
Awww that is cute Luise.
DH tried to get me a google tv, I'm glad I found out before hand so I could put the kibosh on it. I think it was mostly for him ;D
I told him again, I'm not into the big gifts, you don't have to wow me. Errr, I wish it was so easy as him sending me a cute image.
Laurie taught me how to do that. ;D The image was on my other website. I just love it!
Dear Luise...
http://www.bluemountain.com/view.pd?vc=1&i=251102208&m=6423&sync=1
http://www.bluemountain.com/view.pd?i=251102865&m=6423&rr=z&source=bma999&c=embm63459
Quote from: pam1 on May 06, 2011, 02:15:20 PM
...DH tried to get me a google tv, I'm glad I found out before hand so I could put the kibosh on it. I think it was mostly for him ;D....
Like the chainsaw I got one Mother's Day!
LOL Pen. He started in with some nonsense that I could work from bed. I guess he forgot the 4 dogs and DD and well, when have I ever wanted to work from bed? Funny man
Re: Why I'm sad today...
quote from: luise.volta
« Reply #6 on: August 21, 2009, 03:21:20 PM »
Funny but this feels almost like "family" to me. I have a busy day and then it sit down at my computer thinking, "I wonder what the girls are up to?" And I smile, knowing you are there for me and loving that I can be there for you.
This feels a whole lot like home to many of us, as well, Luise... Thanks so much Luise & Kirk! Happy Anniversary!
Good night everybody... ;D
Happy Mother's Day, Ladies! Make sure to enjoy your day!
I sent that on to Kirk, Rose. :D
Have a great day everyone!
I wanted to share my Mother's day story to give everyone a laugh.
My two great nieces (they are 3 weeks apart) had their first birthday party in Georgia this past Saturday. One lives in Missouri and the other in South Carolina (both are military families). My brother lives in North Carolina, my parents are here in Tennessee with us. Both nieces's family is in Georgia and one niece's GM has a big house on the lake so they planned the party there. Sort of a middle place to host the event. I have not seen them since they were about 6 weeks old, except plenty of pictures. So we were traveling down there Saturday for the party, so my DH knew I needed a break from everything that has been going on here, so he booked us in a hotel for Friday and Saturday night about 30 minutes away from the event in Atlanta. Ok, that's all the background.
Sunday when we get up late and get ready to check out, he takes me to a late breakfast. He then gives me a Happy Mother's Day card and a gift box. In it is a beautiful ring. The card is signed by my DH and my YS. He says, "This is from me and YS" as I open the box. I was in awe for a few minutes of how beautiful the ring was and was about to tear up that my YS had played a part in it. Then I looked at the card again. I would know my YS's writing anywhere because it's chicken scrawl, and my DH has great penmenship. Both signatures were very neatly written. I kind of looked at him, grinning. "So does YS even know about this?" He can never lie to me, his face gives him away. He gets this guilty four-year-old look on his face as he stammers, "Well yeah, it's from both of us."
Needless to say, within a few minutes he fessed up that he added YS's name, because he knows it would have been hard for him to get me something and that he had intentions of calling YS and letting him know what he did. I was laughing so hard because I thought it was very nice of him to add YS's name. Now YS and I have a great relationship, so I knew he would call that day sometime.
So we finished breakfast and hit the road. About 15 minutes into the drive, my phone rings. It's YS. This is how the conversation went.
YS:
Dang...I did it again! I'm losing it this morning...
YS: "Happy Mother's Day!!!!"
Me: "Thank you."
YS: "You having a good day?"
Me: "I am! Expecially after opening the present you and DH got me! Thank you so much."
YS: crickets.......
YS: "Umm....you...are....welcome..."
Me: "It's absolutely beautiful! Thank you!"
YS: crickets......
YS: "I....do....ummm....what....I...ummm...can....do....ummm.....you're welcome. Can I talk to DH please?"
Awe...the poor kid! That was sweet!
It really was, but I couldn't help myself. YS didn't know we were in the car together so I could hear what DH told him. It was priceless. He asked DH, "So what did we get her?" DH explained what they got and told him that he had intentions of calling him soon, but that YS called first. He whispers all this to him and then hands the phone back to me. We talked for about 30 minutes on how things were going with him and other things then said bye. DH laughs and tells me what YS had said and that YS did tell him thank you for adding him to the present.
DH is just that thoughtful of a guy. YS has no clue that I know that he didn't know. I had a great weekend and Mother's day and am very grateful for my DH and YS. In the words of Charlie Sheen, "WINNING!"
Wheeee....!
Pooh!!!! I LOVED that post!!! It actually filled my eyes with tears of happiness because I was so touched imagining the entire scene...Awww...what a precious memory. I'm so happy for you and so happy that you shared it with us!
Hugs!
Thank you. My DH and YS are a hoot! If I could just figure out how to bottle some of that up and slip it into OS's coffee....hmmmm
No, I wouldn't. I am just very grateful that I have other good people in my life. OS is missing the boat.
Too bad you couldn't have staged someone with a video camera on ys' end of the phone. That's sweet Pooh~
Quote from: Rose799 on May 11, 2011, 11:55:40 AM
Too bad you couldn't have staged someone with a video camera on ys' end of the phone. That's sweet Pooh~
Oh that would have been priceless! I know his face had to be hilarious.
Mother's Day turned out OK. DS has taken over the social tasks regarding his FOO & has done a bang-up job so far. Not too extravagant since that's how I roll, but a thoughtful, timely and meaningful expression of his regard for his old mom. DDD even planned something with DH's help...again, nothing that cost a dime but an activity I love with people I care about.
And here I was expecting nothing and feeling OK about it! Go figure....
Ha! I think that makes it so much better Pen!
Quote from: Pen on May 12, 2011, 08:30:34 AM
Mother's Day turned out OK. DS has taken over the social tasks regarding his FOO & has done a bang-up job so far. Not too extravagant since that's how I roll, but a thoughtful, timely and meaningful expression of his regard for his old mom. DDD even planned something with DH's help...again, nothing that cost a dime but an activity I love with people I care about.
And here I was expecting nothing and feeling OK about it! Go figure....
Did your dil attend
We spent time with DS the previous day (no DIL, she's very busy) and DD on the actual Day Of. DDD was very proud of the beautiful card she picked out and bought with her own money. She also put a lot of thought into what I liked to do and conspired with DH to make it happen.
Aww, that's very sweet Pen.
Quote from: Pen on May 12, 2011, 08:56:33 AM
We spent time with DS the previous day (no DIL, she's very busy) and DD on the actual Day Of. DDD was very proud of the beautiful card she picked out and bought with her own money. She also put a lot of thought into what I liked to do and conspired with DH to make it happen.
was she really very busy or was that a snarky very busy?
We're in your corner, Pen! Sending love...
Pen, I am glad she managed to give you time with your DS as you were hoping for. I'm glad Mother's Day turned out better than you expected (well, MORE than you expected).
Thanks, guys. No, it wasn't a snarky 'very busy,' DIL is working full-time, going to grad school full-time. I think that's what is loosening up DS's schedule a bit, LOL.
Quote from: Pen on May 12, 2011, 11:52:17 PM
Thanks, guys. No, it wasn't a snarky 'very busy,' DIL is working full-time, going to grad school full-time. I think that's what is loosening up DS's schedule a bit, LOL.
Awesome, Pen. I hope you get to see him some more while she is so busy. :-)
I'd suggest that she go for her PhD
She's in a program that will take a lot of time and effort :) But DS will soon be in the same boat :(
They are very happy together. We admire DIL for her many wonderful qualities. We wish she could find something to admire in us, LOL.
Quote from: Pen on May 13, 2011, 08:12:45 AM
She's in a program that will take a lot of time and effort :) But DS will soon be in the same boat :(
They are very happy together. We admire DIL for her many wonderful qualities. We wish she could find something to admire in us, LOL.
I admire you greatly Pen for your constant complimenting of your DIL. That shows tons about your character that you can still see all her great qualities while being treated not the greatest.
Thanks Pooh...always uplifting me...love it.
I agree with Pooh....Pen you are a wonderful person speaking nicely of your dil,,inspite of lol. I am sure deep inside she does admire you...but has her issues or could be that this is precisely her problem... I also know my dil sometimes have flaws..... but honoring the truth....I will always admit that she is a great mom to my gc and have a beautiful relationship with them-------I am grateful for that....gives me peace of mind as I love my gc deeply.
Love