As far as your mother wanting to have a relationship with you even though she was awful to you in your younger days, it's probably her way of admitting she was wrong. It sounds like she has very oldfashioned views when it comes to male/female roles, and, she was probably raised the same way. Perhaps she has evolved, or sees the relationships other women have with their dd's and wishes the same. Sometimes when people know better, they do better. I hope you eloped because you wanted to and not just to get away from her. Did you want a small wedding maybe but you eloped because you knew she would make it impossible? Some of your resentment toward her may stem from this. Just be certain that not wanting children, has nothing to do with her. It should be about your preferences as a married couple, that's all.
I know there are parents out there that are not the greatest, and that's an understatement. If it's possible for your health,and happiness, try to keep the door slightly open. We never know what the future holds and you don't want to have any regrets later in life. You sound very close to your Dad, and atleast if the door is a little bit open, he won't be in the middle feeling terrible that his wife can't make it right with his daughter, and his daughter wants out of his wife's life. Ultimately, you matter, so do your best to take care of you. Hope I helped a little bit.