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Problem Solving => Adult Sons and/or Adult Daughters => Topic started by: luise.volta on October 19, 2009, 02:08:34 PM

Title: Alienation
Post by: luise.volta on October 19, 2009, 02:08:34 PM
Today would have been my eldest son's 61st birthday. When he died nine years ago of sleep apnea we were doing our best to walk on egg shells and stay connected in some very superficial and unrealistic way. Until his teens we were best buds...then I became "the most hated" and never knew why. His wife poured salt on the wound and they seemed to have a great "hating-our-mothers" kind of togetherness. He was a wonderful kid and grew into an even more wonderful man, husband, dad, and granddad. I'm sad that we didn't get through it before he died and I'm sad that I'm sad.
Title: Re: Alienation
Post by: just2baccepted on October 19, 2009, 08:39:36 PM
Luise I'm sorry for your losses.  I know today must be a hard day for you.  Tomorrow will be better I'm sure.  Today is also my dad's b-day(10/19), he would have been 70.  He died of cancer almost exactly six years ago.
Title: Re: Alienation
Post by: 2chickiebaby on October 19, 2009, 08:43:06 PM
I second J2B's sentiment.  I'm so sorry!  All this that you're going thru with your husband is so hard too.  I think about you all the time.
Title: Re: Alienation
Post by: luise.volta on October 22, 2009, 06:29:49 PM
I'm sorry you had to go through that and then had to learn to live without your dad. Too soon!

I always get through it and past it but/and it helps to share it. On October 19, 1948, I was so full of wonder...and had such hopes and dreams. Many came true and I did focus on a lot of great memories. There's just the lingering sense that to have to see your child die is backwards.

Bless your heart for caring.
Title: Re: Alienation
Post by: mom2 on October 22, 2009, 06:44:52 PM
Luise,

Your story of your son made me cry.. I wonder if my situation will ever change before it's too late. It's so odd how we can be so very close to them and then all of a sudden, like you said, we are hated and don't know why. Bless your heart!

J2B,
I am so very sorry about your dad... Bless you too.
Title: Re: Alienation
Post by: cremebrulee on January 17, 2010, 03:27:06 PM
Quote from: luise.volta on October 19, 2009, 02:08:34 PM
Today would have been my eldest son's 61st birthday. When he died nine years ago of sleep apnea we were doing our best to walk on egg shells and stay connected in some very superficial and unrealistic way. Until his teens we were best buds...then I became "the most hated" and never knew why. His wife poured salt on the wound and they seemed to have a great "hating-our-mothers" kind of togetherness. He was a wonderful kid and grew into an even more wonderful man, husband, dad, and granddad. I'm sad that we didn't get through it before he died and I'm sad that I'm sad.


Louise, I'm very very sorry....I pray that you find strength....

My son and I were the same...he was a great kid and person, and still is, it's just that I don't think he likes me very much...b/c his wife doesn't.  But, this post made me very sad....please know your in my thoughts and prayers...