Two books that I found very helpful to me over the last few years are by Byron Katie (also see her website and YouTube videos). The books are:
I Need Your Love... Is That True?
Loving What Is
She invites you to question your thoughts by using 4 questions, then turning those thoughts around. It's amazing how you can suddenly see a different perspective, which helps you to release your attachment to the situation.
Thanks. I am going to have a look at them. It seems to me that if I "need" your love, it means that I do not have the resources within to sustain me. Wouldn't that put me in a dependent situation? I think, "I enjoy your love and I value your love" includes love in our lives without losing self.
Kind of the Socratic method of figuring out why/or if we feel angry or hurt, I'm guessing?
It's a good book in that is provides lots of real life dialoging examples that she's done with people (look up her website too: byronkatie.com and the various youtube videos). Her method makes you question your thoughts and really ask yourself... can you know for sure that what you're thinking is really absolutely true? You then continue working your thoughts through an inquiry system - one statement at a time.