March 28, 2024, 09:54:07 AM

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"Welcome to WiseWomenUnite.com -- When adult children marry and leave home, life can sometimes get more complex instead of simpler.  Being a mother-in-law or daughter-in-law can be tough.  How do we extend love and support to our mothers-in-law, adult children, daughters-in-law, sons-in-law, and grandchildren without interfering?  What do we do when there are communication problems?  How can we ask for help when we need it without being a burden?  And how do our family members feel about these issues?  We invite you to join our free forum, read some posts... and when you're ready...share your challenges and wisdom."


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Messages - thimble

1
Hi I'm new here.

Just a little upset with my daughters at the moment.They are  27years of age and i feel and they feel very distant from me.
one of them says she had a bad childhood,and i keep saying sorry not really knowing what I have done.

When they were 15years one of them had anorexia and my husband to be and I had to put her into a clinic,it was tough,like having a baby again.I was also losing my mum who died just as she was being let out of the clinic.I was in depression then,and i think i didn't spend time with the other daughter.

The other daughter didn't seem to want to be in volved in family things but would moan that we aren't close as a family?

The daughter with anorexia moved into away and lives with her boyfriend and his mother,she seems to be happy,but i know she is safe.
This is nearly 10 years ago,since then everything has been fine ,the other twin said the other day that she had a bad childhood,they both seem to dislike my husband .
My husband now took my 4 children on ,he has been so good with them,but at the time it was hard for us both and he step up and disciplined them when i was exhausted.
The other daughter everytime we try to family things she will not participate.Her eldest sister has moved down with her little one ,which the other twin was so excited,but she lets her down when they arranged to meet.
I was hoping the other twin would pop in to see me and our grand child when we have him,but it doesn't happen.

When I tried to speak to her about this she says we aren't close and she feels very distant from us and has being going on about the bad childhood.,my eldest daughter and i are bewildered about all this.

I have written her a letter saying it is her who makes her self distant,and as for the bad childhood i will not keep apologizing,I did my very best with things,and it hurts me she can say such things to me.
My dad passed away in my arms in December and I have had the responsibility to sell the house and help my 9 brothers cope with it all.
The house was in our family for 46 years and it was so sad for me to go through all of their things.

If only she could understand,your parents aren't here for ever.