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"Welcome to WiseWomenUnite.com -- When adult children marry and leave home, life can sometimes get more complex instead of simpler.  Being a mother-in-law or daughter-in-law can be tough.  How do we extend love and support to our mothers-in-law, adult children, daughters-in-law, sons-in-law, and grandchildren without interfering?  What do we do when there are communication problems?  How can we ask for help when we need it without being a burden?  And how do our family members feel about these issues?  We invite you to join our free forum, read some posts... and when you're ready...share your challenges and wisdom."


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Messages - DivaGirlDIL

1
Grandchildren / Re: Venting right now.
January 19, 2013, 05:47:54 AM
Talking with my sister about its like she doesn't get it.  If she had plans and offered to take her.  Yes she has a right to say we will be out late.  But she didn't have plans when I asked.  And that's fine not just wanting to sit home.  She was getting her around 3 take her somewhere.  Monster ink was out I told her take her to see it.  I didn't care if I missed one movie experience I already have seen it.  But no can't do that. And to want to keep out late after above is a huge slap in the face.
2
Grab Bag / Re: Weight Loss
January 17, 2013, 04:22:03 PM
Anyone do WW?
3
Grandchildren / Re: Venting right now.
January 17, 2013, 04:17:18 PM
So right before New Years I decided to give her another chance.  Well I thought we had worked it out.  She was supposed to take her for the night because I had some friends coming over. At last minute my friends had to cancel due to illness.   When I told her my husband and I was still going to do a night out she tells me that she will be keeping DD out late. Because she made plans with friends for dinner. She wouldnt tell me who the friend was and didn't get why I was upset.  I hung up on her. The next day she kept calling but I ignored the phone calls. We ended up taking DD to see monsters Inc. and shopping for winter boots.  She also told me she didn't want to waste her Friday night sitting at home with her grandaughter.  Shakes my head I give up.  My Disney story is even better maybe I should start that thread.  Ahhhhhhhhhhhh
4
You told her to call you what she was comfortable with.  I wouldn't repeat what she says she might think your mocking her.  I think being direct is best way.  But if she is not comfortable is it worth fighting over it?
5
Scoop DH's family gave her a doll.  It says on the box not a toy.  Not for kids under 14.  She tried to tell DH it wasn't the right box.  I looked when they left its not the wrong box.  It's plastic and well the poor artist would probably cringe if they knew a 4 year old has it. 
6
Daughter in Laws and/or Son in Laws / Re: Christmas
December 25, 2012, 09:08:37 AM
NewMama I know how you feel DH's side if wont come Christmas Day because we won't accommodate what they want us to do.  My husband's siblings refuse to go against them.  So we started Christmas Eve brunch.  We love staying home on Christmas with dd if people want to see us they can come here. 
7
Daughter in Laws and/or Son in Laws / Re: Christmas
December 24, 2012, 05:40:15 AM
I was talking to my DH about this tonight.  He said the day was more special then Eve.  I was surprised a little I must say.  My childhood both were great.  But I have to say Christmas Eve at my Grandparents house has the biggest memory.  My grandparents basement had cardboard or something on the wall with a big break paint fireplace and stocking.  Every year Santa would come and help pass out my Grandparents gifts.  My fav was when I was old enough to know Santa wasn't real and my uncle dressed up.  He has a paper beard with the cotton balls not eve fluffed out.( He passed a few years ago). After my grandma passed when I was 9 and my grandpa and her had a falling out are tradition changed but that memory still is strong. 

Make your own traditions.  Oh and easy clean up is so much better.  We are only doing apps this year.
8
Daughter in Laws and/or Son in Laws / Re: Christmas
December 22, 2012, 08:47:17 PM
My family growing up spent Christmas Eve with her side and Christmas Day with my day's.  we do Christmas Eve brunch with my hubby's dad and brothers.  Christmas Day with my side.  Both days are equally special.  With my dad's side we still do a party only now it's on a weekend in December.  My mom's it's been well years since we have done family.  It's all in the way you look at it.  Eve or Day they are both Christmas.
9
I believe you can do other fruits without bananas. 
10
Quote from: Keys Girl on December 18, 2012, 05:40:10 PM
FL, you don't need to send anyone anything to move on.  You just move on.  Actions speak louder than words.

If anything this type of (purging) letter, sent just before Christmas could be the nail in the coffin to a future relationship with you son and grandchildren.

I think we all need brighter days ahead, but I think letters of this nature should be burned or saved in the "Draft" folder forever. 

Good luck,
KG

I agree.  Back when I was first married I use to write emails.  My husband always said they sounded angry.  I never ment them to it was more hurt feelings then anything.  I never understood it until tonight.  You might have ment it but your letter sounds angry.(OP) It comes across like your holding that fact that you have birth to him over his head.  I hope you find piece and happiness.
11
Hun you don't have a future inlaw problem, you have future husband problem.  I wouldn't marry him if I were you.  Run
12
Is she struggling to learn or is she struggling to pay attention?  From what I am reading it sounds like struggling to learn which to me says LD.  I say go get her tested for a learning disability.  Maybe she needs more help and sometimes Sped classes are helpful.  Hope that helps.
13
Autumn of course you have a right to be upset.  Everyone had a right to decide howvthey feel.  You don't get to decided though where he goes though.  Making him feel guilty is only going to cause tention between you though. 
14
Stop being alone with her.  If she calls let it go to voice mail.  I dont buy gifts for ILs his family he can do it.  He doesn't buy them if they are upset by it we don't hear about it.  Sorry pregnancies are stressful enough without drama.
15
I wouldn't bring it up at all.  If he asks for money tell him no.  I cannot at 32 years old remember the last time I asked my parents for money.(before I was married and I have been married 8years)  And if I did it was a loan that I paid back.