You can only be your best self not someone else's. And however to the contrary it may seem, therein lies your happiness, being your best self while letting others find theirs.
I got what I needed right there!!! Just needed some relief from this idea that I am expected to make it all better -- I can't, I keep trying and nothing changes. He knows I care, he knows I love him, he knows I worry about him...he says he is living his own life and for me to stop trying to control his life. It is what it is...yukky
Well back to focusing on my own needs and what I can do in my life to make it a wonderful world...or at least try.