Why do you suppose younger men ask older women out? The reason I'm asking is that there is a man at work who might be all of 40 who keeps asking me to go out. I've told him I really don't date anymore and have turned him down twice now. Do you think he's dense or desperate?
I know alot of older men (including my husband who was 14 years older than I am) would ask younger women out, but I don't quite understand people who don't understand "no."
Anyone have any suggestions? Advice?
Coco,my best friend is 9 yrs older than her husband.It's her 4th husband,but they are very compatible and it's the happiest i have ever seen her.I have another friend that is 14 yrs older than her husband,it's her3rd,and says the same thing.It just works for them.......age is just a number.
I would take that as a compliment,really!!!
Coco,
Maybe he wants to get to know you better, or maybe he just wants to go out for coffee and talk. He could be intrigued by someone turning him down and is trying to prove to himself he can get you to go out. Or he could be one of those guys that think unattached women are in "need" of some physical activity and wants to "help" you out of your dry spell (ya, creepy icky guys still abound out there). If you aren't interested in "dating" this guy, or dating at all, then you are going to have to be blunt with him....thank him for the offer but you aren't dating anyone...period. Or tell him sure, my husband and I will meet you at so-and so restaurant for dinner....his treat!
Thanks Mominwaiting. I do take it as a compliment. Really, I do. I just wonder if everyone thinks its a little obsessive not to hear the word "no." And also, this man is about 5 years older than my son. Why wouldn't he be asking out someone his own age? I'm lost when it comes to dating anymore. I have too much baggage to date, but usually people hear "no." I just don't understand it.
Thanks Mominwaiting. If your friends have any input on this, can you tell me, because I don't get it??
Quote from: Orly on March 12, 2010, 01:14:52 PM
Coco,
Maybe he wants to get to know you better, or maybe he just wants to go out for coffee and talk. He could be intrigued by someone turning him down and is trying to prove to himself he can get you to go out. Or he could be one of those guys that think unattached women are in "need" of some physical activity and wants to "help" you out of your dry spell (ya, creepy icky guys still abound out there). If you aren't interested in "dating" this guy, or dating at all, then you are going to have to be blunt with him....thank him for the offer but you aren't dating anyone...period. Or tell him sure, my husband and I will meet you at so-and so restaurant for dinner....his treat!
Orly, you are a kick! I was reading your post and I just busted out laughing! next thing I knew this man was coming up to my desk! Yes I've been blunt, but not rude. I'm not worried about my "dry" spell! HAHAHA! - NO COMMENT! Funny thing, I've started wearing my wedding set these past two days to work! It didn't stop him. Yep, hadn't thought about the "DRY SPELL!"
Maybe I'll see if "MY HUSBAND" wants to meet him! -wink, wink! HAHAHA!
Too Funny! Thanks Orly! You made my night! ;D ;D
Orly?
Can you come to work with me??? ;D ;D
Bring a 2 x 4! ;D ;D
I'm so tempted....swinging that 2x4 at hard-headed mules.....old Missouri pasttime.
;D For Coco 8)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u7gIQl7xJbQ
Dats right, Rose....WOWZA!!! Go get em Coco!! 8)
lol...
Quote from: cocobars on March 12, 2010, 11:45:51 AM
Why do you suppose younger men ask older women out? The reason I'm asking is that there is a man at work who might be all of 40 who keeps asking me to go out. I've told him I really don't date anymore and have turned him down twice now. Do you think he's dense or desperate?
I know alot of older men (including my husband who was 14 years older than I am) would ask younger women out, but I don't quite understand people who don't understand "no."
Anyone have any suggestions? Advice?
There are two women at work who date a younger man...they love it, b/c those men are good to them...the men have stated they don't like girls they're age, b/c they are girls, so immature and flighty...so I don't know...however Orley as always makes a good point as well. There is nothing we want more then what we can't have...makes us want it more....
What a compliment that is to you...
;D ;D You guys!!!! UH HA! "I got problems...."
Creme, thanks so much. I just don't date though and this man doesn't seem to know the word..... HAHAHAHA! No..... If I was interested, that would be great and really, I do take his attention as a compliment, HAHAHA! Especially since he seems to be attached to my bottom when I get up and go do something! HAHAHA! I guess my problem is how to say "NO" without hurting his feelings. Yes that's it. He's really sweet and once I go into the ladies room he detaches... HAHAHA!
I'm sorry, but this is sooooo embarassingly funny>>>>
Orly? Whats the best wood to buy! ;D I mean in 2x4's? ;D
Coco, is he rich?
Is he not ugly?
Does he have hair?
Does he have pretty shoes?
Teeth? (his or theirs?)
I don't know Chickie! He's a spy. So I guess he's rich. I have friends that are spooks too and I can tell you that most of them are slimy. I've past the age where I think looks, money hair (my husband was bald and I loved it!), cars or shoes have anything to do with it anymore. I died with my marriage and I mean it. I know that sounds cruel and maybe it is.
Just being honest...
I guess that's sad huh! It's kind of depressing, but not to me! I really loved my husband and still do. I've never found anyone else that compares and probably never will. I'm find by myself. I know this is going to sound even worse, but I consider my husband to have passed. I have a friend who's husband passed and I think we are both alike. The only difference being that her husband isn't here, but I might see mine again with whatever woman he has found at the time...
Doesn't mean I don't love him anymore. I haven't found anything else worth my time. It's not conceited, I just really loved him and learned a bad lesson...
Oh you girls are cracking me up!!!!
Thanks i needed a good laugh!!!!
Coco,my friends husbands liked their maturity,and self confidence.
coco, is the spy's name Herbert A. Philbrick...
If it is, he leads 3 lives.
Coco,how long have you been divorced?And have you ever dated anybody?
Hehehe! No it's not. But I can tell you this;
With death come rebirth. I like my life just the way it is.... ;D
Quote from: Mominwaiting on March 12, 2010, 03:28:54 PM
Oh you girls are cracking me up!!!!
Thanks i needed a good laugh!!!!
Coco,my friends husbands liked their maturity,and self confidence.
Good for them! I do too! If this one is worth a plugged nickel, I'll be surprised. Now, where did I put Orly's 2x4? ;D
Is there something wrong with me that I should be interested? Maybe it's me....
What would any of you women here do? Just asking.
I think he's nice, but like I said, most of the time spooks are not! They are not like in the movies - if it was James Bond, I would accept and them let my memories take me through..... HAHAHA! Die with a smile on my face!!!!!!!
...so he's not cute?
Coco,whats wrong with enjoying his attention,telling him your only interested in friendship.If he can accept friendship only,a lot of men just don't get it.But some men do.And having a male friend is some thing very fulfilling.
Soak some of that attention up,you deserve it..........unless it just really annoys you
Quote from: Mominwaiting on March 12, 2010, 03:32:06 PM
Coco,how long have you been divorced?And have you ever dated anybody?
I never divorced him. He is a Lt. Col (fighter pilot retired) in the air-force. I have great benefits to this day - medical, military bases. PhD in Psychology. I can't really get into what he did, because you would be here reading for days on end..... We'll skip the boring parts...
I'm still legally married, but legally separated - go figure that one out! HAHAHA! I think he uses the fact that we are still "legally married" so that he doesn't have to marry anyone, because he likes the name "sugar daddy." He has alot of problems that would be embarassing to get into.
I have had male friends and they seems to try to go further. So, I gave up on that too! I like attention - don't we all? So it's nice, but I don't hurt people, so I have to let him down easy. He only annoys me when he's right there, everytime I make a noise. I guess I'm too sceerd!
Thank you Moninwaiting. You make me feel good and loved! I wish I could find someone that interests me. I just haven't been able to. I think sometimes there is just one person. If it doesn't work out, then that's ok.
Coco,
When that right person pops up in your life....you'll be ready to put up my 2x4, until then....use it as needed. (really, some guys NEED for you to apply it, because they just need that no given with abit of authority). Start calling the mule-headed spy "Jasper".....YEE HAW!
I will definately remember that! Thank you, Orly.
Coco,
When a husband dies...all the feelings and emotions you had for him have not disappeared...you miss him so much and you have enormous hurt in your heart...like it really is broken and you love him so much still. He died because of an accident or an illness. You will never SEE him ever again....but you will always love him.
Divorce, to me, even though some of the emotions of of dying are the same, at least one, husband or wife...did not want to be married anymore...the love was lost...but, he is still here...he is alive and well.
After 5 years, I found myself missing companionship and Love. My first husband gave me so much I wanted that again. I started dating and found what I missed so much. Amost 9 years after my first husband died I married my second (he is older than me..LOL) . We have been married over 10 years now and I am very happy.
Not that this is for you...I just wanted you to know. (((Hugs)))
Thanks Rose, and you're right. Divorce or separation is really the same as death, but nobody thinks that way. Widows are given sympathy and support along with understanding. Divorcee's are expected to be over it and move on. It's been years. I keep saying three years, but it will be four in June. At this point, I don't think I'll be able to move on again. Yes, something did break...
My sister divorced over 15 years ago. At the time she said she would never marry again and she hasn't and she is happy with her life. Everybody is different.
You are fine Coco...we all love you here and want the best for you.
There is a coworker that likes older women and makes it known. He said he doesn't want kids. Yes, he asked me out. I said I am not dating at this time.
I didn't like the "kids" comment. Good to know what a person wants, but I was glad when conversation was over. I guess, the "not liking kids" was why he didn't go for younger women?
He stated that older women seem more confident and know what they want, too.
It is kinda like the old addage; "Don't date a guy that doesn't like kids or pets." And, "how he treats his mother?" LOL....."Well, 2 out of 3."? j/k.
Yes, I understand Renny. If I heard the kids comment I'd be creeped out too! Maybe Orly was right at the begining of this thread... It might have something to do with a dry spell and some physical activity! I have a response in my head for men like that, but don't have the nerve to "say it out loud." Something like taking care of my own business is probably more fun than you anyway, thank you...
Orly, would an umbrella work? HAHAHA!
If you need it...sure. I use my purse when I have to.....it's a lethal weapon...oo, it also counts as a concealed weapon. Drop it on someone's foot to cripple them, then swing it to finish them off.
Quote from: renny97 on March 13, 2010, 04:35:53 PM
There is a coworker that likes older women and makes it known. He said he doesn't want kids. Yes, he asked me out. I said I am not dating at this time.
Renny,
That little statement he made could have been repeated right back to him....."No thank you...I don't want kids either, at least not for dating" followed up with an arched stare.
Coco,when i divorced i was told that for how ever long you were married,cut that in half,and thats how long it takes to be totally over it.But i think this is probably a little different for every body.
Quote from: cocobars on March 12, 2010, 02:49:13 PM
Orly? Whats the best wood to buy! ;D I mean in 2x4's? ;D
concrete!
opps, did I say that?
Quote from: Mominwaiting on March 13, 2010, 05:27:12 PM
Coco,when i divorced i was told that for how ever long you were married,cut that in half,and thats how long it takes to be totally over it.But i think this is probably a little different for every body.
sheesh, it was difficult for me, took me a long time to get over it...and I refuse to even date now...no no, I'm single for the duration...LOL and lovin it...
Quote from: Orly on March 13, 2010, 05:19:03 PM
If you need it...sure. I use my purse when I have to.....it's a lethal weapon...oo, it also counts as a concealed weapon. Drop it on someone's foot to cripple them, then swing it to finish them off.
HAHAHA! I like your style! I knew there was somethin about you, Orly! ;D ;D ;D
Quote from: cremebrulee on March 13, 2010, 05:28:20 PM
Quote from: cocobars on March 12, 2010, 02:49:13 PM
Orly? Whats the best wood to buy! ;D I mean in 2x4's? ;D
concrete!
opps, did I say that?
HAHAHAHA! DO THEY MAKE THOSE TOO????
(Where can I buy one)
Quote from: cremebrulee on March 13, 2010, 05:28:20 PM
Quote from: cocobars on March 12, 2010, 02:49:13 PM
Orly? Whats the best wood to buy! ;D I mean in 2x4's? ;D
concrete!
opps, did I say that?
Creme, if you can swing it.....LOL
OMG!!!! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Aren't we supposed to be GRANDMA'S here???? LOL!
Younger guys like us because we fan-fricking-tastic.....We know who we are, what want we and we know how to(how do I phrase this)make a guy happy(wink...wink...)
I am happily single, having been divorced for almost 15 years. It would take the good Lord coming down in person, tapping me on the shoulder and saying "THIS IS HIM" for me to even entertain the idea of getting married again.
I have gotten very selfish in the last few years. I don't want to answer to anyone, worry about their feelings, get the OK to spend $$$ or share the remote. I have become very attached to my remote.
You know, I agree with that jkm. I said that to my friend here who was trying to fix me up with her neighbor, but what I told her was that until some man knocked on my door and said "God sent me because you asked," I aint interested!
OH! Update... He finally gave up asking me out. I compared him to my son one day and told him about my grandchildren - ALL 9 OF THEM! HAHAHA!
He hasn't bothered me since! ;D
What a clever way to handle the situation, Coco. I love it!!!! Smart woman!
You're so clever, Coco. That's a much better way to handle unwanted attention than the way my DM suggested years ago when I had to ride a city bus through a particularly sketchy part of town. Her advice? "Start picking your nose."
Oh Pen,
I had to laugh at your DM's advice....it reminded me of an incident I had at a bus stop late one night. (When I was young and dumb). Had a guy trying to chat me up, kept giving him very short answers (yes,no) when the bus arrived.....as I was stepping up onto it, he asked me out to lunch the next day. It just popped out of my mouth...."I'm sorry, you're not my type". Of course he got huffy standing there on the street...."WHAT'S YOUR TYPE?" (sorry ladies but he did yell this). I replied..."Girls"....and the bus driver shut the door in the man's face...driving off. The bus driver laughed his head off and told me that was the best answer he had heard in a long time driving the late shift.
Orly,
You had it then and you never lost it. Thanks for the good laugh!
Love you, Hope
Pen, so did you pick your nose? HAHAHA! I don't know if that's good advice or not, because then you could get some crazy man asking if he could have it! Then what would you do? ;D
Orly, Hope is right! You still have it! You have kept me rolling here! I used the "girl" thing once, but it only made the man more interested. He wanted to "watch!" My friend here calls me a "creep" magnet. She says if I walk into a crowded room and there's a creep in it, he's going straight for me! I think I'm going to bring a "bus driver" with me next time so he can shut the door in their face! HAHAHA!
Coco - Thank God you know a creep when you see one. ;)
hehe! I'm not sure about that... I married two of them! :-[