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The Awakening...this gave me hope...

Started by Renet, November 07, 2010, 07:36:52 PM

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Renet

November 07, 2010, 07:36:52 PM Last Edit: November 08, 2010, 06:31:44 AM by luise.volta
The Awakening
(Author unknown)

A time comes in your life when you finally get...when, in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out...ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying and blaming and struggling to hold on. Then, like a child quieting down after a tantrum, you blink back your tears and begin to look at the world through new eyes.

This is your awakening.

You realize it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and security to magically appear over the next horizon.

You realize that in the real world there aren't always fairy tale endings, and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you...and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are...and that's OK. They are entitled to their own views and opinions.

You learn the importance of loving and championing yourself...and in the process a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval.

Your stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you – or didn't do for you – and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected.

You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and everything isn't always about you.

So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself...and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.

You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties...and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.

You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. You begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for.

You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with.

You learn that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" looking for you next fix.

You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era, but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.

You learn that you don't know everything, it's not you job to save the world and that you can't teach a pig to sing. You learn the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake.

Then you learn about love. You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You learn that alone does not mean lonely.

You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO.

You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs.

You learn that your body really is your temple. You begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin to eat a balanced diet, drinking more water, and take more time to exercise.

You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear, and uncertainty and so you take more time to rest. And, just food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play.

You learn that, for the most part, you get in life what you deserve, and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different than working toward making it happen.

More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You learn that no one can do it all alone, and that it's OK to risk asking for help.

You learn the only thing you must truly fear is fear itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your own terms.

You learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom.

You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people...and you lean not to always take it personally.

You learn that nobody's punishing you and everything isn't always somebody's fault. It's just life happening. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.

You lean that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you.

You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.

Then, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never, ever settle for less than you heart's desire.

You make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.

You hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind.

Finally, with courage in you heart, you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you want to live as best as you can.

luise.volta

Beautiful. At age 83 I know that path well. I haven't read the book but I have lived it in my own way. 
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

barelythere

Quote from: Renet on November 07, 2010, 07:36:52 PM
The Awakening
(Author unknown)

A time comes in your life when you finally get...when, in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out...ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying and blaming and struggling to hold on. Then, like a child quieting down after a tantrum, you blink back your tears and begin to look at the world through new eyes.

This is your awakening.

You realize it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and security to magically appear over the next horizon.

You realize that in the real world there aren't always fairy tale endings, and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you...and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are...and that's OK. They are entitled to their own views and opinions.

You learn the importance of loving and championing yourself...and in the process a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval.

Your stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you – or didn't do for you – and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected.

You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and everything isn't always about you.

So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself...and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.

You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties...and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.

You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. You begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for.

You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with.

You learn that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" looking for you next fix.

You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era, but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.

You learn that you don't know everything, it's not you job to save the world and that you can't teach a pig to sing. You learn the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake.

Then you learn about love. You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You learn that alone does not mean lonely.

You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO.

You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs.

You learn that your body really is your temple. You begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin to eat a balanced diet, drinking more water, and take more time to exercise.

You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear, and uncertainty and so you take more time to rest. And, just food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play.

You learn that, for the most part, you get in life what you deserve, and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different than working toward making it happen.

More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You learn that no one can do it all alone, and that it's OK to risk asking for help.

You learn the only thing you must truly fear is fear itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your own terms.

You learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom.

You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people...and you lean not to always take it personally.

You learn that nobody's punishing you and everything isn't always somebody's fault. It's just life happening. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.

You lean that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you.

You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.

Then, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never, ever settle for less than you heart's desire.

You make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.

You hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind.

Finally, with courage in you heart, you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you want to live as best as you can.

Thank you!  This is where I am at last after all these years!  No need to roam the websites, begging for answers, getting kicked in the head by misunderstanding DILs who broke me in more ways than I could emotionally take or by real life friends who can't believe this is happening to us.  I am here. I made it.

luise.volta

Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

barelythere


Renet

This is not from the book........It was written by someone who has known heartache and rose above the devastation it can cause...   In the book,which was written in the late 1800's, the main character gives up and takes her own life......  This celebrates finding life.....This says we can do it...... heartache from children and all......  Wise Women Unite... has lifted me up in the last few days unlike anything else has...including the love and devotion of a very good husband..... I now know where I can come when the dark clouds begin to gather again..... or when I feel like I need to pick up the phone and call my daughter and tell her I am sorry for being a good mother, for loving her, and yet for never being good enough for her.....   
I have sat and read and re-read so many post....and I have sat and bawled....I have felt alone in this sorrow for 10 years......like I was a failure somehow...with this one child.....That I was not good enough for my own mother to love me (she tried to abort me in 1954) and at the other end of the spectrum not good enough for my own daughter to love me..... I had dealt with the loss of never have had a mother's love....but this loss consumed me.....  Finding this site....has literally saved me....  I do not know how to express that enough...
The Awakening....was something I found several months ago....I wanted to share it with all of you strong women whose words have given me strength....
Thank you..........   

Tara

Dear BT,

So good /heartening to hear 'you made it"!

I always love to hear your thoughts and reflections

cremebrulee

Renet
Welcome and thank you endlessly for posting this beauty

I loved this the most...

"You learn that, for the most part, you get in life what you deserve, and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy."

Hugs and thank you

Creme

seasage

November 08, 2010, 06:12:46 AM #8 Last Edit: November 09, 2010, 02:02:32 PM by seasage
Lovely poem.  I was inspired to rewrite the first few stanzas to fit my situation.
Writing this down - personalizing it - changing the pronouns to first person - is helping me to heal. 
The knowledge that I needed to STOP and say ENOUGH has come from the wisdom of other women in this forum.
Here is my personalized version of 'The Awakening'. 
_______________________________________

A time has come in my life, a time in the midst of all my fears and insanity,
while stopped dead in my tracks, and with a voice inside my head crying out ENOUGH!
ENOUGH crying and crawling and gifting and struggling to change Dilly's approval!

Like a child quieting down after a tantrum, I blink back my tears
and begin to look at the world through new eyes.
This is my awakening.

I realize it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change. 
I realize there aren't always fairy tale endings, and that any guarantee of happiness
must begin with me.  A sense of serenity has arrived.

I accept the fact that Dilly finds me imperfect,
and that she may never appreciate or approve of who or what I am.

I am learning the importance of loving and championing myself, and in the process,
new confidence and self-approval are born.

luise.volta

Where did you find The Awakening? Thanks.
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

barelythere

Quote from: cremebrulee on November 08, 2010, 05:20:47 AM
Renet
Welcome and thank you endlessly for posting this beauty

I loved this the most...

"You learn that, for the most part, you get in life what you deserve, and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy."

Hugs and thank you

Creme

Dear Creme,
I must be misunderstanding this.  I didn't deserve this treatment.  I did not.  Like I've said before, it's a sin to kill a Mockingbird.  I'm not disabled physically but my heart is-- so in the same sense, it is murder to treat me like what has been allowed to happen by my DILs.  Yes, my sons allowed it. 

I did not deserve it....neither did my husband.

Pen

Quote from: cremebrulee on November 08, 2010, 05:20:47 AM
Renet
Welcome and thank you endlessly for posting this beauty

I loved this the most...

"You learn that, for the most part, you get in life what you deserve, and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy."

Hugs and thank you

Creme

This is an interesting piece of writing that gives much to think about. Creme, it's interesting that the line you found the most helpful to you is the one line I would edit out if I were to rewrite it for my personal use. I know many who don't deserve the life they ended up with, some who are fortunate and others who are unfortunate.

Again, we can take what works for us and leave the rest, right?
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

luise.volta

My take on that part about "getting what we deserve" is about lessons. The hardest ones for me...the most devastating and unbearable...have been the ones that have moved me the farthest along on my spiritual path. Not because I needed to be tortured but because I needed depth, compassion and wisdom; tempering, like steel in fire.
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

cremebrulee

yes, Luise, exactly why I loved it....
and without the devestating and unbarable, how would we truly know joy, no matter how minute...or short living that joy/true happiness

your insight is most impressive my friend!!!!  ;D

Marilyn

Thank you Renet for posting this.........It's awesome!!!

And thank you Luise for your take on this also.