Hello All: Well my mom passed on June 28th. I had asked for your input as to whether I should contact my AC and let them know their Grandmother was dying. You overwhelmingly encouraged me to let them know so they could make their own decision whether to visit her one last time. Thank you...I did just that. Out of my three AC, my ODD immediately texted me set up a time for the next day to come visit her. She was visibly upset after spending an hour or so holding her GM's hand, but she was still very distant to me. I live next door to my sister who was taking care of mom, so I watched my DD's two young sons while she said her good byes to GM. My YDD texted me two nights later with a simple message that she is upset but knows GM is now with GF. Never heard from DS.
We did not hold a service for mom as per her wishes. I am glad for that, as I don't think I could handle the grief I feel for the lose of mom, and the animosity my family holds towards me all in one room. My therapist tells my AC are angry because they are now responsible for the welfare of their father and I am free. I am sure she is right about that, but like I have read from so many other mother's, we devoted a major part, and probably best part of our short lives in raising our children, teaching them values and morals, work ethic, and godliness, only to have them judge and turn their backs on us. For as mad as my addictive sister makes me, I always seem to forgive her and attempt to rekindle a sisterly relationship. How can my AC carry such a grudge for so long?
I am so glad I have this group of wonderful wise women. I agree, just writing it down seems therapeutic. ;)
Please accept my sincere sympathy, L. I lost my husband at the age of 101 a little over a year ago. (I'm 87.) My take is that no one knows how you feel. It's too personal. We all walk the walk of loss in own way. I'm glad you found us and we found you. Love, Luise
I am so sorry for your loss of your Mom. I lost my mom 17 years ago and I still feel like it could of been yesterday. I don't think these losses get any easier with time, it just that we get use to dealing with the absent person. When my mom passed, I ended up losing my sister and brothers due to monetary issues and later on my oldest son. It has been over ten years since I have heard from him but in spite of it all, I chose to go on with my life, rather then stay in that type of situation.
Grudges are a funny thing , some people like you and I are willing to put them in the past and move on, others choose to live their lives feeling that they have the right to keep the anger alive indefinately.
Once again, sorry for your loss and try and think of all the good memories when you get down. Hugs
I'm so sorry for your loss lokin4answer.
Looking, saddened to hear about your mother. Take care of yourself in days ahead ...
L, my condolences. Please take care. (((hugs)))