WiseWomenUnite.com

Problem Solving => Daughter in Laws and/or Son in Laws => Topic started by: mystory.14 on December 27, 2010, 06:23:54 AM

Title: Privacy Issues
Post by: mystory.14 on December 27, 2010, 06:23:54 AM
If you read your daughter-in-laws online diary, can you respond? I know she was angry when she wrote it but it is totally upsetting and untrue. She is a all about me girl.
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: luise.volta on December 27, 2010, 07:13:31 AM
I have found that responding is an exercise in futility with "all about me" folk. Sending love...
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: Pen on December 27, 2010, 07:33:01 AM
Not only is it futile, it's potentially volatile. Pretend you never saw it (easier said than done, I know.)
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: kathleen on December 27, 2010, 08:04:15 AM
I can only offer sympathy and support.  Just when I think I have heard everything, there is something worse.  What a terrible thing to do. 

Here's to better days, and you will find a lot of us have been approximately where you are,

Kathleen
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: Faithlooksup on December 27, 2010, 09:18:03 AM
HI!!   I do agree with all~~sometimes somethings are just better left unsaid.....You will not get anywhere with her and then she will just be able to say to others "see I told you so." (meaning about you.)   Rise above it~~for you are better than that and perhaps she may be looking to start something, for you never know about those "me, me, me, I " people.....
Hang in there and we are always here when you need someone who cares.....
Hugs and Peace...Faith :)
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: JaneF on December 27, 2010, 12:29:01 PM
I agree, it is best ignored. Sometimes I think our family members are just spoiling for a fight...and if you respond, they got their fight. It will be hard for a fight if there is only one participant! My son and DIL are really angry because I never did respond to the awful comments made on facebook concerning me and other family members. Dear DIL had to make sure to get family feuding in October to beat the holiday deadline! She has demanded that her family get every holiday and has been doing these kinds of things for a dozen years now. I have learned to deal with it and move on. I had other grandchildren and family around for the holidays and we had a lovely time. I would not dwell on the family members who want to make life unhappy...not worth it! You can't "fix" or "change" anyone, so why frustrate yourself? If the other parties feel they have no faults at all, they will not compromise anyway. It's too bad some people cannot be reasonable and just get along with both sides of a family, but that happens a lot from what I gather reading here. We can choose to be hurt or we can choose to be happy...I choose the latter! Blessings to all here, and hope you had a lovely holiday.
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: kathleen on December 28, 2010, 06:05:04 AM
Jane,

Your post is so eloquent and so well-written.  It proves we can enjoy life fully despite these problems.  I had one of the happiest holidays of my life.  Those who choose to continue to be selfish, greedy and inhospitable were simply not around.  For the first time on a holiday, I nearly forgot they even exist. 

MS: It is often enormously difficult not to respond when one is attacked.  It takes great discipline and self control.  But, if you can look on it like being on a diet, the reward for giving up on immediate gratification is very significant.  I know now to opt for long-term satisfaction rather than short-term indulgence.  In any case, for me at least, losing my cool has only resulted in handing another weapon over to the people looking hard for the knife and the sword.

I will continue on this upward path of choosing to be happy, rather than focusing on what I don't have.  And to continue the high road of not responding to mean-spirited words or deeds.  It's a wonderful feeling of freedom and, in the long run, actually being in control.

Thank you, Jane, for your lovely post---

Happy New Year,

Kathleen
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: luise.volta on December 28, 2010, 06:34:34 AM
Beautiful!  :D Sending love...
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: holliberri on January 05, 2011, 09:08:47 AM
In my experience, online rants speak VOLUMES about the feelings and maturity level of the person writing them, not the person they're about.  I have been very embarrassed by my own online behavior on blogs and online diaries, particularly when someone read them. I'm not sure what I was thinking at the time. These weren't about my MIL, but a good friend in one instance and an acquaintance in another.  I wound up hurting both of them.  I remember feeling in both instances that I was totally steamrolled in a disagreement; they weren't letting me talk.  So, I went looking for validation.

This was several years ago. I also see things that are posted about other people on my Facebook feed that can be quite nasty. When I read it, I feel that the person posting that information is handling whatever may be going on in a very inappropriate way, and it is likely that the root cause of their very problem, is THEMSELVES.

Good luck in resisting. Resistance has its rewards, it just takes a lot strength to get them. 

Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: LaurieS on January 05, 2011, 10:01:58 AM
Holliberri... you are absolutely correct, especially when you know it can be viewed by the person you are angry with. 

I have seen on-line diaries mentioned but I'm not familiar with them... is this a site? or a part of facebook?  Would you have to have a password to access the information or is it there for the whole world to read?

I have tons of information that I place in a back vault of my mind labeled Never Mention, sometimes it is better to let things lie.
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: LoveToPaint on January 05, 2011, 10:25:26 AM
Hi, MyStory

I am writing down the story about my son and his GF.  I don't know if you're referring to her FB page. But, if she knows you read it, and even if she doesn't. I don't know the particulars of your relationship with her - but if it's bad between you, she may have only written it to bait you into an argument. That's what happened with son's GF - and it exploded. In my case it had to, if all is not lost between you two - sleep on if you can. Bless you.

-  Rebecca
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: luise.volta on January 05, 2011, 10:50:01 AM
I do that kind of venting on Word...no privacy issues there. I sometimes read them later and am amazed at what a near-sighted McGoo I was. You're right...it's always about me...and I only think it's about the other person in the moment. It can also be a very useful emotional-cathartic and promote healing. Sending love...
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: cremebrulee on January 05, 2011, 10:59:44 AM
Quote from: mystory.14 on December 27, 2010, 06:23:54 AM
If you read your daughter-in-laws online diary, can you respond? I know she was angry when she wrote it but it is totally upsetting and untrue. She is a all about me girl.

no, you cannot respond, it would ruin your relationship forever, just pretend that you didn't see it and never say a word to anyone about it....while it must have shocked your nerves, and hurt you a great deal, never reveal that you've read it and know....she will grow up and change her mind, given time and a few years...believe me....be patient and understanding....while our children love us unconditionally, our DIL's are human beings who because they fell in love with our sons, were flung into a family situation and they are overwhelmed and filled with all kinds of different emotions due to family traditions etc....so, try to be patient with her....
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: luise.volta on January 05, 2011, 11:02:34 AM
I agree, Creme, 100%. Sending love...
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: LaurieS on January 05, 2011, 11:03:53 AM
If our children loved us unconditionally we probably wouldn't be here.
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: luise.volta on January 05, 2011, 11:09:28 AM
And if we loved them unconditionally...we probably wouldn't be here, either. Right?

My little dog loves unconditionally. I think I do until I see that I have again drawn a line. Sometimes for survival...but none-the-less...
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: holliberri on January 05, 2011, 11:23:55 AM
Oh, and I do agree with Creme: she'll change her mind in a few years. Louise is right about venting being cathartic; I disagree with DIL's medium, but on some level she probably got some closure out of it. She may not have intended that you ever see it.  Unfortunately, because you saw it, it has unintended consequences.  I really think it was a bad medium; but it isn't totally out of the norm to have to get your rage out on paper (and better it to be in that form than in person, I think).
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: LaurieS on January 05, 2011, 11:25:42 AM
No it's my dil that I don't love unconditionally :)    I have to ask again.. where would this online diary be?  How did you access it?
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: holliberri on January 05, 2011, 11:29:13 AM
Laurie,

I think online diary is either a term for "notes" on Facebook, or blogs on a social networking site. I also know people can publish bulletins (we simply think everyone wants to hear our every thought...haha).

I think that is it, *unless* she has her own website and is a paid blogger, but that's probably unlikely. In which case, she's probably be fairly popular and know that family members may visit.
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: luise.volta on January 05, 2011, 11:43:06 AM
Sometimes on Word, I vent in bold print in 72 font! Wonderful! (And private...which is good because it's never very complimentary to me in the moment. )
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: holliberri on January 05, 2011, 11:44:58 AM
Louise,

I am going to employ your coping strategy the next time I am feeling the need to vent!
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: erma on January 05, 2011, 12:03:46 PM
 ;D ;D ;D  hahahahah!!!! love that Laurie!! "its my DIL that i don't love unconditionally"  i love it!! :) ;) :D ;D
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: LaurieS on January 05, 2011, 12:15:05 PM
Glad I made you smile Erma. If nothing else I try to be honest :)

So this online diary.. the poster knew that everyone who has access to her fb pages would see it? That seems like a horribly cruel way to go about life.
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: holliberri on January 05, 2011, 12:20:47 PM
Maybe, Laurie. My dad really thought everything on the internet was for his own private use, but he never made his settings on Facebook that way.  Also, some people try to limit who can see what (you can make blogs or notes viewable to only a certain select group), but its cumbersome to do, easy to mess up, and if there is a glitch in security, everyone gets to see it anyway.
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: Tara on January 16, 2011, 09:44:49 PM
Laurie,  Have you had a chance to look at facebook yet?

Wise Women:
Re:  facebook.  One of my DIL's is active on facebook and is an 'extremist' politically which bothers me.
She says things  about my political party which are shocking and highly irritating.  I've 'hid' her on my
facebook (which I hardly ever look at) so her posts don't come up when I check in but sometimes I would go
and look her up to see how she is doing.  Then be shocked and upset again so I have decided just not to look!!! 
why do I need to know what outrageous and ignorant things she is saying?  It just makes me feel distant,
disappointed and angry.  I'm the kind of person likes to know whats going on but in this case, it doesn't
really serve any positive purpose!  I think I got the idea not to look here on this site.  thank you


Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: LaurieS on January 16, 2011, 10:28:36 PM
All of my kids use facebook.. while my daughter was a minor my son would give me access to his page if we needed to know what she was doing.... yes I am one of those moms.. I probably checked up on her a handful of times .. since she has become legal age, I have no need to check up on her...  She learned early while playing ball in college that facebook can work against you if you aren't cautious... she also realizes that potential jobs are looking on pages like facebook and goggling your name.  I would be highly disappointed if my kids used facebook to rant, make political statement or post unacceptable photos.. people need to realize that the world is watching :) But I was not following the online diary thing.. think I have a grip on it now.
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: forever spring on January 17, 2011, 12:15:56 AM
Hello Mystory,
you had the chance to read what your DIL thought about you but only at one point in time. As we all know, often things are being said/written in the heat of the moment which we regret later and often apologize for. The general tenor of advice on this posting is to 'let sleeping dogs lie' and I agree with that.
However, I can imagine you thinking about what she wrote, especially in the small hours of the morning. It takes such a long time to purge those things. It's like a wound that takes time to heal.
Avoid reading FB in future? Could that be the answer? Not sure because FB can be fun and a great way of staying in touch also?! And why should these things affect our lives in such a destructive way?

Actually I do love DIL  :)  but I do not always like her.  ::) Should I tell her that? URGHHHH!  NO (72 pt)
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: lancaster lady on January 17, 2011, 12:54:25 AM
After what happened to me on FB I'm not sure if it's a good thing or not .People tend to say things on FB that they would never ever say if faced with the person they are ranting about .I agree it's a great way to keep in touch with friends and family until one word is taken out of context and twisted until it suits someone's sick purpose .I love the idea of writing a six page letter on word to get all your feelings out of your system ! Then that's what this lovely website is for ..lol
I reckon if you wouldn't say a thing to someone's face ,then don't say it on FB .I actually deleted my page so as not to offend my DIL AGAIN !My friends thought I had deleted them as they couldn't see my page ,so I started up again but I'm very wary of what I say .Anything I now read which offends me goes over my head and slides down my back ! These pages of WW has made me stronger once again and I thank you ....x
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: cremebrulee on January 17, 2011, 03:58:08 AM
The people on FB that I'm friends with, don't go into rants...and as far as being politically charged, we all are individuals that have a right to our thoughts and feelings regarding our political and spiritual views...to me, today, people are way to sensitive, and it's jeprodising our freedom of speech...

I say if you don't like what someone is saying politically, then ignore it, and allow them they're views....no one is going to agree all of the time, and we all have our personal cultures...

Tara, don't be offended by how someone else thinks and feels, just embrace your own beliefs and be confident in them...your DIL may change political views several times throughout her life, but for now, just ignore it...and be well with yourself...and your own beliefs...we cannot and will never control the way others think and feel...and if we become offended by that, then we have to learn how to not be...again, this is your DIL's culture, not yours...and there is also a generation gap...so try and learn how to allow her, her feelings...and walk off into the sunset hand and hand with your own,  with a feeling of peace...

We may love many people in our lives, but we don't have to like some of they're actions and beliefs...however, that is what makes this world go round, and we have to understand boundaries, and allowance, along with confidence in our own selves...don't take it as if someone is attacking your own beliefs, personally, again, all it is simply put, is two ways of viewing things, and when you can accept that, you will obtain peace and understanding...instead of feelings that someone is saying your wrong for yours....
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: LaurieS on January 17, 2011, 07:40:48 AM
I know Creme that you will think that I'm out to say the opposite of you at any cost but.... I have to agree with LL...if you can not bring yourself to say something to someone directly then maybe you should leave it off of off fb or any other online social network.  Posting on those types of forums is solely with the intent of having others read your words.

Stating ones political views is a right of all Americans, unless you are not doing so in the proper place. You said:
Quote from: cremebrulee on January 17, 2011, 03:58:08 AM
The people on FB that I'm friends with, don't go into rants...and as far as being politically charged, we all are individuals that have a right to our thoughts and feelings regarding our political and spiritual views...to me, today, people are way to sensitive, and it's jeprodising our freedom of speech...

I say if you don't like what someone is saying politically, then ignore it, and allow them they're views....no one is going to agree all of the time, and we all have our personal cultures...

While I too believe in freedom of speech, there are always lines that can be crossed.  We do not know the extent of ranting that Tara was referring to, until I do I will withhold my views.  But ignoring a situation is sometimes the worse possible thing you can do.  When someone starts to use social networks to vent hatred especially towards another individual, or the government, we have learned in the wake of the Tuscon murders that intervention is a must.  Unfortunately Tuscon is not an isolated event.

While I'm sure this would never be your intention.  The last sentence of the quoted statement from you could be applied to my asking of Luise to close a thread that I found to be possibly offensive and definitely not WWU appropriate, last night.  Once again.. I wholeheartedly agree with freedom of speech, but as wrong as it is to yell fire in that movie theater, it's wrong to bash our government here on this site.  Am I being overly  sensitive?  Maybe, but that is why I'm on this site and not some government/MIL/DIL bashing site to begin with.


Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: Faithlooksup on January 17, 2011, 08:13:35 AM
I agree with you Creme all the way.....I have noticed lately we are not allowed to have our own views and thoughts on this sight, not to mention rudeness as well.... If you do not agree with someone so be it....Must their opinions be bashed on this forum because you do not agree?  I personally do not care if someone agrees with me or not, I am not here for that purpose... I Believe different opinions are valuable, with a connection within each one...a sentence, a single word can make a difference to someone....as I mentioned before let us disagree in Love not in ego.

We are all here to help one another not hinder and no ones opinion here is written in stone (except Luises...)

Also.....If you have nothing nice to say....Dont say anything at all.
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: cremebrulee on January 17, 2011, 08:45:02 AM
Laurie

My post to LL was not politically charged, nor was it a bashing of any kind.

What it was, was addressing LL's words about how her DIL's political rantings on FB upset her are she is embarrassed by them.

Laurie, I respectfully submit, that my posts last night nor today, were not politically driven and I'm so sorry you view them that way, however, it was not my intention in either case.

So, LL, what I was trying to say is...your DIL is young, and maybe so very passionate about her views, her beliefs, that she may seem to rant...

I'm not saying she is right, or wrong, and neither are you, what I'm saying is, ignore them and realize, she is who she is, even if her views don't go along with yours...LL...what is more important, being right or getting along with your family?

Remember, the more you fight this, the more it's going to effect your son...you and your entire family, is it worth it?  Not to me, I'd rather ignore my DIL's views, and get along...besides, we can't change people, all we can do is change our own attitudes.

I believe in all situations we have things to learn about ourelves, which helps us grow, as it did me....I could have fought my DIL's views tooth and nail, but it didn't get me anywhere when I did, if anything it made things worse and more heated, causing more hard feelings, arguing and it was heartbreaking...so, I hope you din't see my post as politically charged, but touching on your post, about how your DIL feels, and asking you, is it worth it to be upset about her feelings, or, is it better to learn how to ignore someone's beliefs, if they don't agree with yours...

You do have choices, and this doesn't have to be a war...it can be peacful and a very successful relationship if yoy take the lead, and not allow how your DIL feels to effect your happiness...and I would ask myself something...LL, do you get upset, if someone else disagrees with your views and opinions?  What I mean is, is it just your DIL or would you be upset, if I posted someting that didn't go along with your belief system?  Think about that, you don't have to answer me, but please understand, my only concern is that you have a peaceful life and relationship with your family, and DIL is your family to...we just have to learn how to get along with someone who doesn't think or feel like we do...

and I really hope you didn't think I was agreeing with your DIL's views....but more so, concerned for your realtionship and getting along...allowing someone they're views, and realizing, she's still young yet, and she will grow, mature and think differently tomorrow., just like we did...

I am sending you hugs and love
Creme
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: Faithlooksup on January 17, 2011, 09:25:59 AM
I agree with you again Creme....
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: cremebrulee on January 17, 2011, 09:26:47 AM
Ok, I went back and read the original post and all the way through, and got confused, so I owe Lancaster Lady an apology, as she wasn't even the original poster, and Tara was the women who was talking about her DIL's political rantings on her fb, which embarrassed and offended her...
So I was addressing Tara's post, and not LL's....forgive me for the mix up, but I was addressing the wrong poster...

Ladies sorry for the confussion...my mistake....

Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: Faithlooksup on January 17, 2011, 09:33:46 AM
Nothing wrong with getting confused, it happens everyday....maybe our age???? eyeglasses????  lots of conversations going on----posting one thing, posting another thing....LOL... It happens Creme...., but your advise was still on target.
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: holliberri on January 17, 2011, 09:55:29 AM
Tara,

I will never figure out the driving force between the emotion that runs behind politics. Raretly do politics need to be taken that far. Also, no matter what people post on Facebook about politics, someone is going to get offended. I bet, it is more than just you that did get offended, and you're probably not the only one that has "hidden" her newsfeed (although, as far as I know, you're her only MIL, so that does put you in that unique position!). I'm not sure why people equate Facebook with a podium, and I'm not sure why it is that people forget that everyone doesn't always agree with them. Either that, or people forget that Facebook is not a personal diary that no one will read.

If the language is particularly heated, you as MIL, should NOT engage her, and I think you're doing 100% the exact right thing. Politics just aren't worth it (even if they are worth it to your DIL).  For your own sanity, don't get upset at what she says; calmly sit back and know that she's being inappropriate, and that is GLARINGLY obvious on Facebook when people engage in violent politics on there. Plus, someone talking like that isn't allowing themselves the chance to have an open honest discussion about politics; they're never going to get the other side, and they're never going to work together with someone they consider an adversary. If you don't consider her antisocial in any other way, I don't think it is a huge problem. I think she will eventually see that more than likely, her newsfeed doesn't match the "mood" of whhat else is posted (but, I don't know who her friends are, so I can't say for sure), and begin some introspection.

I've noticed it seems to be a 20-something thing on there. My older friends don't do that, and if they do, they're A LOT nicer about it, talking about the issue not the person/party. Good luck, just remember, it is she that has forgotten that not everyone agrees with her, and that perhaps she has some family members that might not; it has nothing to do with you.
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: luise.volta on January 17, 2011, 11:02:34 AM
That's a hard one for most of us (certainly for me)..."What you think (about me, politics,whatever) is none of my business." We can be interested in what others think and how they project that...and we can, without being defensive, state what we think. Yet, often "never the twain shall meet." Sending love...
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: Tara on January 17, 2011, 06:34:38 PM
Good feedback everyone, thank you I've been reluctant to  repeat any of the things DIL said here as too inflammatory. 
I know I'm doing the right thing  by not even looking at fb at what is being written but its nice to be reassured.


Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: holliberri on January 17, 2011, 06:47:15 PM
Tara,
People do like to post things for attention. By hiding her, you eliminated one audience member. That does take away some of the power behind her words. :)
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: Tara on January 17, 2011, 06:59:45 PM
Holliberri,

I didn't know that people do things for attention, but now that you say it, it makes some sense. 
She has a little following and when she says provocative things sometimes her 'friends'  agree but other
times they say "your so bad"  but with a wink. 
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: Pen on January 17, 2011, 07:34:36 PM
Way back when FB was new my DS "forbade" me from getting an account. Of course that made me want to get one, but after thinking about it I decided not to and I'm glad now that I didn't. Although it would be fun to catch up friends and relatives, I would be crushed if I saw something from DS or DIL that was even a little inflammatory or if they went overboard talking about how great their vacations with DIL's FOO are, etc. etc. Too much of that is hard to take sometimes. Worse than that would be getting blocked by either one of them. When I'm more secure in our blossoming relationship I may bring it up again and see what response I get.
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: Tara on January 17, 2011, 08:21:02 PM
Your approach makes good sense Pen. 
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: Pen on January 17, 2011, 10:51:22 PM
Tara, I have heaps of friends who think I'm nuts for bowing to the wishes of DS or for worrying about what I might read on FB. They say FB is loads of fun and that most people nowadays assume everyone's on it so that's how they communicate and I'm missing out on invites, photos of trips/new babies/celebrations, work related postings, etc.

Sometimes I'm tempted to not make good sense :)

I just watched an interview with a prof from MIT who believes that even with our overabundance of communication devices we're not as close as we used to be due to the shortened, somewhat false-front messages we send via tech media. She says this messaging style of communication has trained us to ask questions that don't  require long explanations, so we aren't gaining as deep an understanding of each other as we might have in the past. It's quantity over quality, I guess. Interesting take on modern times...
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: forever spring on January 17, 2011, 11:19:43 PM
Tara, I agree with you and the prof from MIT. FB is not about in-depth communication or gaining lasting friendships. I think it can be compared to 'old time gossip' over the fence and I take it for that. I can keep in touch with friends all over the world and when I meet up with them again, at least I'm updated on what they've been doing and we can then concentrate on our one-on-one relationship and take it from there. For example one of my friends is pregnant at the moment and through FB I have been able to see how she is coping with it, so when I see her again I wil be able to admire baby, having sort of been able to participate in her pregnancy in virtual space. That's all good. However, as with all technologies there is a down-side. That's what this posting is about and I do recognise this. My FB friends are not close family. Just cousins etc., same generation. I would never want to look at DIL or DS facebook site.
Louise, on a different topic, I think you and your postmaster Kirk are doing a sterling job. This site is so well monitored and organised. I have taken to looking at it frequently now and it has given me the opportunity to think about a lot of things connected to my own behaviour towards DIL and DS. Thanks for taking the time and energy. :) :) :)
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: lancaster lady on January 18, 2011, 01:00:16 AM
I agree FB can be a wonderful site for keeping in touch with long lost friends and relatives . However FB was the initial cause of the row between myself and my DIL .
An unoffensive comment not meant to hurt anyone made by myself and not aimed at her was taken out of context and blown out of all proportion.So now I am very wary of the comments I make on FB .why did she use this innocent remark as ammunition I will probably never know .However my DS has always warned me about upsetting her ,as in saying things ,so perhaps she is the type of person who takes offence at anything ,if she wasn't this whole episode would never have happened .:(
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: cremebrulee on January 18, 2011, 04:12:08 AM
Quote from: Pen on January 17, 2011, 10:51:22 PM
Tara, I have heaps of friends who think I'm nuts for bowing to the wishes of DS or for worrying about what I might read on FB. They say FB is loads of fun and that most people nowadays assume everyone's on it so that's how they communicate and I'm missing out on invites, photos of trips/new babies/celebrations, work related postings, etc.

Sometimes I'm tempted to not make good sense :)

I just watched an interview with a prof from MIT who believes that even with our overabundance of communication devices we're not as close as we used to be due to the shortened, somewhat false-front messages we send via tech media. She says this messaging style of communication has trained us to ask questions that don't  require long explanations, so we aren't gaining as deep an understanding of each other as we might have in the past. It's quantity over quality, I guess. Interesting take on modern times...

Pen, your friends are right about FB....it's a good way to connect with classmates, see they're pics and share...however, there are always people, as in all walks of life who abuse it...I don't go into my DIL's or son's facebook, unless they respond to me...it's none of my business...

and the prof from MIT is right....busineesses have also tautht employees to write short emails, but to the point...

Good post...
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: cremebrulee on January 18, 2011, 04:21:56 AM
Quote from: Tara on January 17, 2011, 06:34:38 PM
Good feedback everyone, thank you I've been reluctant to  repeat any of the things DIL said here as too inflammatory. 
I know I'm doing the right thing  by not even looking at fb at what is being written but its nice to be reassured.

yes, leave it Tara, remember, she's young, and while her rantings are wrong, she'll have to learn the hard way....her friends will ignore her...I've been on FB for a few years now, and never have I seen anyone of my friends rant like that...it must be a younger generation thing...and to, I remember myself, long ago, long long ago,  ;D and how passionate I was....my parents were politically connected....so I probably got it all from them...however, while growing older, soon learned to change my tune...years later, served on the Board of Directors for our community...for years...once as President, then I retired...so, as we grow older, we do change...keep the faith that she will and give her time....

Creme
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: holliberri on January 18, 2011, 05:11:07 AM
Pen,

Not to start trouble, but there are 500,000,000 other people on Facebook! It' a BIG world. If you want to join for you, then do it. Just let them know that's what you're doing and that you don't expect to add them as friends. (My cousin and her mom both want their privacy from one another on Facebook, so they're friends with all the family but not each other--but they are best friends in real life--it CAN work!).

I think the "not going in depth" might work to your advantage if you decide to get on there; you can keep up with classmates, long lost friends, far away family, and use it strictly for that. Keep your genuine relationship with your DS and other special people off of Facebook.

Just a thought, in case you ever change your mind.  :D
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: kathleen on January 18, 2011, 06:24:14 AM
My son runs a computer business at a fairly high level and he doesn't want any of us in his family on Facebook because of the confidentiality
issues.

Anna, as you live in Canada, perhaps you read about the Canadian government going after Facebook and demanding more rights for users, and winning a judgment, including the ability to get off it.  Canada is much stronger than the US on many consumer issues; for example, the Province of Quebec has now outlawed the use of all lawn pesticides.  We're not even close unless, maybe, states in the Pacific Northwest?

As those of you who know me can see, I'm not into short emails, but a lot of people don't  enjoy writing so that's good for them.  I personally don't like the superficiality of Facebook.  Or the lack of privacy. 

I had an experience on Facebook a few weeks ago.  I decided to look up my best friend from kindergarten and there she was.  It was a shock I don't want to give old friends by posting a photo of myself, believe me!  It was definitely her, but also not the "her" that I knew.  Of course. Why should I be shocked?  But still, I've given up searching for old friends.  I prefer my memories.  Also she listed things about her that made it clear we wouldn't be close today, her political views, her music, etc. 

There are other pitfalls.  My young son posted a picture of himself at a party.  My oldest son got it off immediately, as he says such a photo can be used to keep a person out of certain kinds of professional positions.  Apparently employers check Facebook and other social media to eliminate candidates who post such photos.  I wonder how many people know that.  That is a real sea change in the job market, going from having to actually talk to references to being able to cut someone out of the running for photos posted on the Internet.  So those of you who have
young people in the job market, advise them accordingly.  They should have a social media presence but a highly professional one at all times.

Those of you who like Facebook, enjoy!

Kathleen
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: holliberri on January 18, 2011, 06:28:44 AM
Kathleen,

I would love to hear more about confidentiality issues on Facebook, perhaps a thread in "Internet" sharing what you know?

I'm careful about what I post, but I'm not sure I'm careful enough.

Also, a friend of mine in HR has said that she checks Facebook after an interview; and matches the information to the resume. (Job history, colleges).  She said that it can be a great way of checking out someone's honesty. She said it is very easy way to verify that a person actually went to college someplace or worked as a CEO of a company...etc. I hadn't thought about this; but she said people lie all the time in interviews and on resumes.

Just a thought for anyone looking for a job; Facebook can be a downfall, but you can make it a plus as well with the right tailoring!
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: Faithlooksup on January 18, 2011, 06:38:10 AM
Kathleen, I am with you on this all the way regarding FaceBook.....I dont like it nor do I have one....If someone needs to get in touch with me they can by via email or phone.....or come on over door is open.....

And then ...to each his own..... :)   

Faith
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: lancaster lady on January 18, 2011, 06:44:17 AM
Before applying for a top job ,my son ''wiped clean '' his FB page .
His friends had a habit of posting things on his page that perhaps might have been unsuitable .All done in fun .So if you share a computer make sure you log out of the site before you closedown .
Future employers do check this social networking .:)
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: Pen on January 18, 2011, 06:54:27 AM
Yes, FB is definitely checked by all sorts recruiters. Wiping clean your page helps, but if the incriminating photos or info have already been downloaded by someone else, they still exist "in the air" & can come back to haunt.
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: kathleen on January 18, 2011, 06:58:52 AM
Pen, you are very correct, that is what my son told me, that a skilled searcher can find those photos anyway. 

Holli:  I'll ask my son for more info, perhaps a good web site that could be accessed for information.  I'll post when I get it.  You are also very correct that a social media presence is expected for professionals today, and that they should make it squeaky-clean and really great and match it totally to the resume.  Otherwise, zilch.

Kathleen
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: Pooh on January 18, 2011, 07:27:49 AM
Love my FB, but I am also true to myself.  How I act on FB, is how I am in person.  Don't like me on FB, wouldn't like me in person.  I wouldn't walk around showing pictures of myself in person that I would be embarrassed by, so I wouldn't post them on FB.  I don't start political or religious arguments in person, so I wouldn't start them on FB.  It boils down to common sense....or lack of it.

I own a gun, but I don't walk around pointing it at people.  It is a personal responsibility on how I use it and solely up to me.  Same on FB.  It it my responsibility to use it wisely. 

And I hate to say this, but if someone wants to find out about you, it is easy to do with public records.  Yes, you should take precautions to keep your private information off of FB, just as any website, but I can walk in our local tax accessors office right now and pull up tax records which will provide me with anyone's address, financial information on the house and taxes,  that lives in this county.  And I can do that in any county in our state.  I can go to the local jail and search on you.  Arrest records are public.  I can go to 911 and request any call record, on anyone.  I don't agree with the laws, but they are the laws.
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: cremebrulee on January 18, 2011, 07:42:18 AM
Quote from: holliberri on January 18, 2011, 06:28:44 AM
Kathleen,

I would love to hear more about confidentiality issues on Facebook, perhaps a thread in "Internet" sharing what you know?

I'm careful about what I post, but I'm not sure I'm careful enough.

Also, a friend of mine in HR has said that she checks Facebook after an interview; and matches the information to the resume. (Job history, colleges).  She said that it can be a great way of checking out someone's honesty. She said it is very easy way to verify that a person actually went to college someplace or worked as a CEO of a company...etc. I hadn't thought about this; but she said people lie all the time in interviews and on resumes.

Just a thought for anyone looking for a job; Facebook can be a downfall, but you can make it a plus as well with the right tailoring!

yes, you can do that, however, if the person has they're facebook set up so that only friends and family can see, then no one else can get in....however, I don't think many people are aware of that, therefore, they're FB is open...for all to see....
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: cremebrulee on January 18, 2011, 07:44:38 AM
QuotePooh
I own a gun, but I don't walk around pointing it at people.  It is a personal responsibility on how I use it and solely up to me.  Same on FB.  It it my responsibility to use it wisely. 

hmmmm,
a Saturday night special, and it works just fine every other day of the week?  

sorry I had to say that, that one liner she used in The Blind Side, just tickled me......love Sandra Bullock....


Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: Pooh on January 18, 2011, 07:48:39 AM
Hee hee...I love that movie and Sandra Bullock too!
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: Pen on January 18, 2011, 07:54:45 AM
Wow, she looks great these days after losing 160 pounds of worthless flab  ;D

Loved the new hairstyle at the 'Globes.
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: Pooh on January 18, 2011, 07:55:53 AM
Ha ha ha!  Good one Pen!
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: cremebrulee on January 18, 2011, 08:07:47 AM
Quote from: Pooh on January 18, 2011, 07:48:39 AM
Hee hee...I love that movie and Sandra Bullock too!

she must be a hoot in person, yanno?  I loved the Proposal and also, the one about the witches...I could watch that over and over again....and didn't she do a fantabulous job, portraying the wife in the Blind Side?  Wow, what an actress....she is unique...
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: cremebrulee on January 18, 2011, 08:08:34 AM
Quote from: Pen on January 18, 2011, 07:54:45 AM
Wow, she looks great these days after losing 160 pounds of worthless flab  ;D

Loved the new hairstyle at the 'Globes.

Pen, was she just there or did she win something?

Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: Pooh on January 18, 2011, 08:11:20 AM
Quote from: cremebrulee on January 18, 2011, 08:07:47 AM
Quote from: Pooh on January 18, 2011, 07:48:39 AM
Hee hee...I love that movie and Sandra Bullock too!

she must be a hoot in person, yanno?  I loved the Proposal and also, the one about the witches...I could watch that over and over again....and didn't she do a fantabulous job, portraying the wife in the Blind Side?  Wow, what an actress....she is unique...

The Witch one is one of my all-time fav movies (Practical Magic....put the lime in the coconut and drink it all up...). 
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: cremebrulee on January 18, 2011, 08:15:30 AM
yeah baby,  ;D

now, I'm going to be singing that song all day, and by the way, I love frozen Margaritas....
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: Pooh on January 18, 2011, 08:16:59 AM
Me too!
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: Pen on January 18, 2011, 08:21:26 AM
Quote from: cremebrulee on January 18, 2011, 08:08:34 AM
Quote from: Pen on January 18, 2011, 07:54:45 AM
Wow, she looks great these days after losing 160 pounds of worthless flab  ;D

Loved the new hairstyle at the 'Globes.

Pen, was she just there or did she win something?

I have no idea, I just saw a photo. She's got bangs now, they look good on her.
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: Pooh on January 18, 2011, 08:23:45 AM
She wasn't up for anything, she was there as a presenter.
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: Pen on January 18, 2011, 08:28:25 AM
Pooh, I hear Ricky Gervais was hysterical. We don't have TiVo or any other recording device so I missed it. Did you see the show?
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: Pooh on January 18, 2011, 08:29:37 AM
No, I caught a few minutes of it but that was it.  I normally like to watch it.
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: LaurieS on January 18, 2011, 08:33:47 AM
Quoteauthor=Pen
I have no idea, I just saw a photo. She's got bangs now, they look good on her.

I thought the bangs looked  a little heavy... I liked her hair pulled off her face some... my dh liked her blond
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: cremebrulee on January 18, 2011, 08:38:47 AM
Ricky Gervais is outstanding...

thanks Pen, wish I would have seen it though...
I really love seeing all those beautiful dresses

Has anyone seen True Grit yet?  I heard Jeff Bridges was terrific, but even more so, the girl, Hailee Steinfeld  who played Matti Ross was hired the next day after her interview for the part...

FYI....
I've read reviews, and they say, it surpasses one's expectations of the film?  It's done in a very classic form, Beautiful cinematography and incredible lighting makes the film look like a genuine western while Jeff Bridges gives another performance that could see him get another Oscar nomination and as Mattie Ross, Hailee Steinfield may get one her first time out. Despite the film being a little slow at times, everything else in the film is so fantastic that it certainly should be considered one of the last,  must see films of the year.  So, I cannot wait to see it...


Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: LaurieS on January 18, 2011, 08:43:46 AM
I saw it and it was fantastic.. took my father who has not been to a movie theater in 20 years.. since he went back and saw it again.. but it's still hard not to love John Wayne's version... extremely well done... this will help bring back an appreciation for westerns
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: Pooh on January 18, 2011, 10:21:38 AM
Me and DH saw it too and I absolutely adored it!  And Hailee truly deserved the award, she was fabulous in it.  I was raised on westerns, and honestly, don't care for them now...but I loved this one.  Kind of like Tombstone, you don't have to like westerns to enjoy it.

I did think it started off a little slow, but it needed to, so you could get the background going.
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: LaurieS on January 18, 2011, 10:42:36 AM
Quote from: Pooh on January 18, 2011, 10:21:38 AM
Me and DH saw it too and I absolutely adored it!  And Hailee truly deserved the award, she was fabulous in it.  I was raised on westerns, and honestly, don't care for them now...but I loved this one.  Kind of like Tombstone, you don't have to like westerns to enjoy it.

I did think it started off a little slow, but it needed to, so you could get the background going.
While Jeff Bridges is a great actor.. I still miss my beloved John Wayne
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: Pooh on January 18, 2011, 10:58:34 AM
Well you just miss him thar little missy....yuh huh
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: LaurieS on January 18, 2011, 11:16:00 AM
I just recorded the original True Grit when it was on tv the other day... hot cocoa, John Wayne.. my  house is a mess but you know, it's a great day to watch a movie.
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: Faithlooksup on January 18, 2011, 03:50:13 PM
::) ::) ::)
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: ladyfirstdilsecond on January 29, 2011, 02:33:58 PM
Mystory--I would say no.  Think about it this way: If you wrote something terrible about your DIL when you were mad/upset/hurt, would you want her to see it?  If you posted questions about her behavior on this site, would you feel comfortable with her reading it?  If you wrote something about your DS when you were upset with him, would you want him to see it?  It's unlikely that you would.

As a person, your DIL does have a right to have an online diary and every right to say what she wants.  That's the beauty of a country where people have free speech.  You have the right to a diary and your words as well.  Nobody wants to be called out and screamed at (or even know that their MIL is reading) when they write things that they may truly believe at that moment.  It's not a "me generation" thing--you would be horrendously offended if someone read your paper-based journal, wouldn't you?  Same thing--except this is her version of the paper journal.  If you wouldn't leave a bright yellow sticky note in someone's paper journal saying you'd been there, I wouldn't suggest doing the electronic equivalent.

Best advice--if you find something you don't like, stop reading the online diary--it will save you loads of stress in the long run.

If I had an online diary, I wouldn't want my MIL to read it.  It would feel like snooping and, if I was 14, it would be a different story.  As an adult, though, she has the right to say/do what she wants without feeling like people are lurking over her shoulder ready to pounce if she says the "wrong" thing.  I know I would shut it down before I let my MIL read anything I had written because she feels like she has a right to criticize it.  It's an entitlement issue with my MIL--she feels entitled to tell me how to live my life with my husband, but she doesn't as I am an adult. 
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: luise.volta on January 29, 2011, 02:43:04 PM
What am I missing here? My diary is on Word and no one can read it unless it's a hacker. Since it would put most people to sleep, not-to-worry. To make something private publicly accessible doesn't make sense to me. When I want to share something in my dairy, like an Ah-ha...I copy and paste it to an email to the person I think would be interested. As I said, what am I missing here?
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: Pen on January 29, 2011, 03:22:19 PM
I agree, Luise. It's a bit like celebrities who do outrageous things to be in the spot light but then claim to hate the paparazzi.
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: holliberri on January 29, 2011, 03:27:16 PM
Pen,

Nail meets head. Negative attention is still attention.
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: LaurieS on January 29, 2011, 08:01:18 PM
The dil very effectively set her up for failure.. that is one game that isn't worth playing ... I would find it hard to believe that anyone would post something online and have the right to be upset when someone read it.  Kinda like the dumb cheerleader at my dd's school.. posted picture of her drinking in uniform on my space then was upset when the parents sent the photos to the school and ask for her to be removed from the squad... cheerleaders reasoning.. I only posted them on my own "my space" pages. 
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: Pen on January 29, 2011, 08:30:48 PM
Although I was thinking about signing up this weekend, I don't think I'm ready for FB. My friends and relatives post invitations to showers, parties, get-togethers...and I will just have to miss out. If DIL got upset over some FB misunderstanding it's quite possible we'd never see DS again. The risk is too high.
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: LaurieS on January 29, 2011, 08:34:47 PM
You may be right Pen, in this day of mass miscommunication
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: holliberri on January 29, 2011, 08:47:02 PM
I LOVE Facebook, but I wish people would stop sending out the Facebook invites. I realize it is easy to send a mass e-mail out, but I'm just not used to considering that a real invitation to a party. I still call and say yes or no instead of clicking yes or no. Plus everyone I've seen RSVP normally puts maybe...it's like they're more noncommital about it b/c it's a virutal invitation. Besides, I have visions of accidentally inviting some old acquaintance to a party they'd never be comfortable at...then what? 
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: Tara on January 29, 2011, 10:57:40 PM
Lately since returning from India, I'm trying out a new fb strategy.  I just post one photo with a description a couple of times a week.    Nothing personal , I am not that comfortable doing more, however that in itself to my surprise  is quite a presence as are writing to me including my nephew, who I haven't heard from for awhile.    I still have my dil 'hidden' so I don't have to see what she writes, and resist the urge to look. 
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: luise.volta on January 30, 2011, 11:12:40 AM
Good for you! Stick with it!! We all know what's in a septic tank. No need to take the cover off and stick our heads in there. Sending love...
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: Tara on January 30, 2011, 01:21:01 PM
Luise,  hahaha   8)  I've been feeling sorrow all morning and when I read this I laughed out loud

Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: catchingup on January 30, 2011, 01:52:03 PM
[/si
This is what I wrote on my facebook page when I was mad at someone.
Most of our enemies criticism of us can be seen as barbie doll clothes hanging on a washing line even the pegs seem oversized. They are known as"Hang ups"
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: Mariatobe on January 30, 2011, 04:08:42 PM
Hi, I haven't read all of the responses, but there is a part of me that says, if something is private, why post it online?  I have a journal at home I keep and write in when things bother me.  But I would NEVER put that online because I would be horrified if other people read it, as those are my own personal thoughts and feelings.  If you want to keep something personal, the internet is not a good way to go.  So, can you expect privacy when you have an online diary?  That sounds like an oxymoron to me.  Not sure if I'd say anything about it, are there problems she's writing about that are fixable?  Do you continue to read it?  You might not want to keep reading it.  But hopefully, all problems are fixable.  I hope it works out.
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: Tara on January 30, 2011, 04:28:40 PM
Catching up, do you mean their hangups?
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: catchingup on January 30, 2011, 10:09:57 PM

Most of the things people say about us are their hangups.
I cant see why we cant quote something online as long as it is not directed at anyone.
If someone takes it personally then I say "If the cap fits wear it"
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: lancaster lady on January 31, 2011, 01:31:03 AM
Some people put things on FB to create a response .
I know to my horror ....the wrong person reacted ..
Your theory if the cap fits ,fitted my situation ,someone feeling guilty who reacted to my post .
however this wasn't my intention at all !
now I don't put anything personal on  ,I'll send an email directly without leaving innuendos on FB.

On a lighter note ....during my dark days ,I kept a happy book .
I noted something  each day that made me smile .Simple things ,like the cheeky robin in my garden .
It made me realise there are still things to be happy about .
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: Pooh on January 31, 2011, 05:57:09 AM
This forum is my online diary....
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: holliberri on January 31, 2011, 07:23:21 AM
Same here, Pooh.
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: LaurieS on January 31, 2011, 07:28:17 AM
I thought this was my low budget therapy session.. I was even impressed .. not one of you asked me to increase my water or called me Deb
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: luise.volta on January 31, 2011, 09:28:22 AM
This is my e-family. I have a FOO (I love how that looks and sounds!) - My Family Of Origin that are all gone now. I have my BF - Biological Family that includes grand kids and great grand kids in college who are very close to producing great-great grand kids. I have my EF - My Extended Family which includes 7 "sort of" adult kids and an "ex" or two...and I have my e-family - WWU. I experience intimacy on all levels but this one is the miracle. I have never seen even one of you and I never will but you are all part of my heart. Online diaries bring us close...online therapy helps us heal...we rant at times and often just being heard does the trick. We share experiences and solutions and make suggestions. Online love isn't "virtual."  Amazing.
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: Tara on January 31, 2011, 11:41:26 AM
Yes, it is a miracle.  I'm so grateful for our group.
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: pam1 on January 31, 2011, 01:16:49 PM
This thread made me LOL and then I wrote a response and lost it.  So here it goes again.  And take with a grain of salt since I don't like social networking anyway.  Don't even get me started, it's probably my #1 thing to rant about.  One of my sisters kept begging me to get on facebook so I tried it and now I think a whole lot of my relatives and friends are a bunch of freaks.  I don't get the need to post OR read what people ate for breakfast, what store they are going to today, what every single personal feeling they have about a recent break up or any other life stuff.  It seems like more and more people are writing about life instead of living it.  But whatever, I have to stop talking about it b/c this will turn into one huge run on sentence about how much I dislike social networking.

Anyway, on the flip side  -- I don't see the need or want to read it either.  When blogs first started coming out and people would email me their link, I'd check it out but not anymore.  Why read someone's diary?  First of all, 99% of the blogs I've read and wasted time out of my life are extraordinarily ordinary (LOL.)  Just like books, not everyone is going to sell.

Eh, maybe it's just me.  But I figure if someone wants me to know something, they'll tell me.
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: holliberri on January 31, 2011, 01:19:39 PM
Pam,

I am on Facebook, but I agree with you. There are reasons some of us are just not famous for our opinions and activities...so should we be sharing them ALL the time? I don't know.
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: Pooh on January 31, 2011, 01:21:25 PM
Now, I happen to be very famous.....in my own mind...
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: pam1 on January 31, 2011, 01:33:00 PM
LOL Pooh!

Holli, I don't know.  To be honest, I will rant about social networking but then I guess I don't care what other people do.  I just don't read it or want to sign up and do that stuff.  My stepmom used to drive me nuts, she had her blog and would ask you if you read it.  I tried faking the funk for awhile and I guess it was apparent I wasn't keeping up with it so instead she started emailing me her blog entries and then do the ask and refer to her blog when I'd talk to her and then realized I'd stop reading her emails too and got really hurt over it. 

But I just plain don't get it....she WAS talking to me.  Why not just tell me then?  LOL, the whole thing is frustrating and funny.  I want to scream leave me alone, leave me alone when people bring it up and all the drama it causes.  All that nonsense for nothing.
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: Pooh on January 31, 2011, 01:44:10 PM
I hear where you are coming from....I can't stand Twitter because of the constant updates.  I don't care if you are going to the restroom!  But, I love my FB.  I don't post everything I am doing, and mostly my statuses are silly things to make you laugh, that I update only a couple of times a week.  But I do have friends that change their status every couple of hours.  I just ignore them. 

I have some friends that write blogs that are so boring, that I never read them.  But I have a niece, who is a therapist, who's blog just keeps me in stitches, so I enjoy hers. 

Hate to admit it, but for me, it's not the blog itself or status itself, but the content.  If I enjoy it, I will read it....if you bore me...nope.  So I would just have to use the "Yes, I would love some tea." if they asked me.   :D
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: pam1 on January 31, 2011, 01:47:39 PM
Yeah, I like funny.  I guess my experience was just weird, I dunno.  My sister...woah.  I can't even look at her the same after that, it was like she was a tween drama queen LOL. 
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: Pooh on February 01, 2011, 07:15:00 AM
I know what you mean.  I have to get on to my DH.  We will have a great weekend together and he will post a status that can be taken a couple of ways and filled with inuendos.  He does it on purpose and his buddies comment.  I am always going, "Do you realize when we run into your friends that I am behind you turning red, because I know they are looking at me like....uh huh?"  He just laughs and says I am proud of our relationship and you.  Sometimes you love them, sometimes you want to kill them!
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: LaurieS on February 01, 2011, 07:17:39 AM
You have us saying un hun on many occasions
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: Pooh on February 01, 2011, 07:40:31 AM
Well I am doing something right then!  Yay me!   ;D
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: cremebrulee on February 01, 2011, 10:31:51 AM
Quote from: Pooh on February 01, 2011, 07:40:31 AM
Well I am doing something right then!  Yay me!   ;D

LOL, I've said this before, and I'll say it again....
Your a hoot!!!!!!
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: Pooh on February 01, 2011, 12:35:46 PM
Thanks Creme!
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: cadagi101 on February 01, 2011, 02:45:04 PM
Quote from: Laurie on January 31, 2011, 07:28:17 AM
I thought this was my low budget therapy session.. I was even impressed .. not one of you asked me to increase my water or called me Deb

Imust add I hope you are drinking 8 glasses of water a day, Mary
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: LaurieS on February 01, 2011, 02:46:25 PM
I'm trying I'm trying
Title: Re: Privacy Issues
Post by: luise.volta on February 01, 2011, 04:37:37 PM
Ah, the Merry DEButante. How cute!