March 28, 2024, 03:18:37 AM

News:

"Welcome to WiseWomenUnite.com -- When adult children marry and leave home, life can sometimes get more complex instead of simpler.  Being a mother-in-law or daughter-in-law can be tough.  How do we extend love and support to our mothers-in-law, adult children, daughters-in-law, sons-in-law, and grandchildren without interfering?  What do we do when there are communication problems?  How can we ask for help when we need it without being a burden?  And how do our family members feel about these issues?  We invite you to join our free forum, read some posts... and when you're ready...share your challenges and wisdom."


Judgment

Started by luise.volta, September 10, 2009, 10:09:17 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

luise.volta

I was thinking about someone calling me apathetic and how judgment often comes before all of the facts are in. I was pretty much offline for a few days because my husband fell backward and hit his head on the glass door of the fireplace. (Neither broke, probably because both were so hard!) However, I think it's a good example of why we need to give the other person the benefit of the doubt.

Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

Sassy

Luise:  you are empathetic, not apathetic.  :-*

just2baccepted

Luise, I hope your hubby is doing ok.  I'll be thinking and praying for him.  :(

AnnieB

I like Sassy's definition!

   I think it wasn't your absence, but your calmness that was mistaken as apathy w.  I so hope to be included with you, then as an Apathetic MIL's ...

   IMHO, I think you have a condition called "Inner Peace" -- these are the symptoms as defined in various places on-line:


    *  A tendency to think and act spontaneously rather than on fears based on past experiences.

    * An unmistakable ability to enjoy each moment.

    * A loss of interest in judging other people.

    * A loss of interest in judging self.

    * A loss of interest in interpreting the actions of others.

    * A loss of interest in conflict.

    * A loss of the ability to worry. (This is a very serious symptom.)

    * Frequent, overwhelming episodes of appreciation.

    * Contented feelings of connectedness with others and nature.

    * Frequent attacks of smiling.

    * An increasing tendency to let things happen rather than make them happen.

    * An increased susceptibility to the love extended by others as well as the uncontrollable urge to extend it.

Luise, you've got this BAD!    (Can you please keep passing it on?)

just2baccepted

100% Amen to that!!  What a way to think and live your life.  I hope I can do that.  ::)

luise.volta

Well, for heaven's sake! Thank you. There's no reason I should be immune to name-calling but I do think it was a good example of someone not being aware of the whole picture.

My guy doesn't remember the fall or not being able to get up or being incontinent from shock. He's OK, now. He laughs and says that there's definitely an up-side to memory loss. I'm a nurse and that sure helps in these situations. Keeps the 911 Aid Cars and the ER at bay. (Here they are called Senior Taxis!)

Today is that award event down in Seattle that I posted about some time back. I'm a little nervous...I don't know why. I will just tuck all you lovelies in a little imaginary  pocket over my heart...and take you with!  :D
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

Alicev

Luise - you do not cease to amaze me. I hope I will someday be where you are - having the wisdom, peace, knowledge, experience, the love, the acceptance. I am so grateful that I get to be the part of this site and the people here.

luise.volta

Well, I lived through the event. Seven people in "greater Seattle", (I live 50 miles North), were honored as Special Seniors, one for each day of Senior Appreciation Week.
We ranged in age from 72 to 93!

I woke up with anxiety this morning and wished it was over. When I told my son that, he asked if I had to speak and I said no, and anyway, public speaking doesn't bother me. Couldn't figure out the "foreboding" feeling.

Realized later that it was the recognition and the accolades that I dreaded. Isn't that interesting? Women of my generation were not acknowledged. They served and it was just expected. We were mostly overlooked or patronized...(or both.) I noticed some of the other people being honored making uncomfortable remarks, especially in the picture taking part of the ceremony. We were embarrassed to be singled out as "special.:

Had a great time anyway. The MC was from the local radio station and the food was good! My son and his wife were there along with 10 other people who are really close to me. We were all limited to 12 guests. When the CEO of the Foundation shook my hand as he was handing me my award after my bio was read, I asked if he was part of my award and would continue to hold my hand during the rest of the ceremony. Once a ham...always a ham.  ;D

Got cards and FTD flowers, etc. And tomorrow I'm sure I will wake up and say "Whew! :D
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

chickiebaby

Congratulations!! You were able to get through the accolades, though, I hope. Yes, it's hard to be patted on the back in front of others~you made it!! YAY!! Give yourself a smooch. :-*

chickiebaby

Alicev, I think you have arrived.  You have wisdom and most importantly, you have understanding, tolerance for others,  and love. I think that's the total package.  Glad to know you. :)

just2baccepted

Luise I'm glad it went well for you!  ;D

Alicev

Quote from: chickiebaby on September 11, 2009, 02:40:29 AM
Alicev, I think you have arrived.  You have wisdom and most importantly, you have understanding, tolerance for others,  and love. I think that's the total package.  Glad to know you. :)

Thanks for your kind words. It means a lot to me to know you care. Hugs!

chickiebaby

Ditto, it seems that Luise is a star. WOW!  Do you pose nude?  :-\

SunnyDays09

well I am coming in a bit late, here.  luise you are wonderfully great.  And I, too, hope your husband is feeling better!!

Sounds like it was amazing event.  Good for you! I chicken out at the last minute!